Spiritual Dating Tips for the Consciously Aware

Transcending Negative Relationship Karma

Karma is defined as action/deed/destiny resulting from the law of cause and effect. Other more common ways of describing karma is "As you sow, so also shall you reap" and "What goes around, comes around". Karma can also be known positively as choice and change.

The Past can affect us in 2 ways.

(1) Experiences resulting from injustice towards others in the past

When our actions have negatively affected others in the past (this incarnation or previous ones), we undergo what we put others through, so that we develop empathy and learn not to do the same. For instance, if we have abused our spouse in a past incarnation, we may incarnate with an option to experience something similar ourselves in this life, as an opportunity to learn. So, the purpose of karma is to teach, not to punish and experiential learning is often the best teacher. Our soul remembers and stores all that we learn.

(2) Unfinished business from the past

However, not all "sufferings" are the result of us wronging others. If you have been abused in this lifetime, it does not always mean that you were an abuser in your past incarnation. To believe so is simplistic and usually incorrect. It is also destructive for an individual's soul growth and understanding.

Some experiences are the result of past patterns remaining in your energy field/in your subconscious mind. For instance, if you have been abused in a relationship in the past, this remains in your energy field, which then sets up an attractor pattern that unconsciously invites more abuse. This happens until the pattern is removed from the energy field/subconscious mind.

How to transcend the negative karma

(1) Finishing unfinished business.

Transcending this type of karma is easier than the other type. The following methods are recommended:

- Emotional clearing work (regression) to release negative pattern from energy field. Setting up a more empowering, resourceful behavior pattern through belief change etc.

- Forgiveness eg forgiving the perpetrator, as when you do this,your soul evolves into higher consciousness, and hence happiness. When you hate somebody, that person receives that thought and hates you even more. On the other hand love transforms a person.

"When Mahatma Gandhi was in South Africa, he was stabbed and lay near death. The officials naturally wanted to prosecute his assailant, but Gandhi refused. "No," he said. "If I put him in prison, he will be a greater enemy. I will win him by love." When the attacker learned of Gandhi's forgiveness, he became his disciple."

- Developing empathy/compassion for others in similar situations. Some people even become advocates for charity of a nature related to their situation, thus accumulating positive karma.

- Releasing negative beliefs. Transcending unhealthy habits. Deciding on more empowering course of action.

(2) Transcending karma resulting from injustice towards others in the past

Of course, this depends of the gravity of the action. For instance, a lady who had difficulty conceiving, dumped her newly born infant near a rubbish bin in a past incarnation. She experienced this in a regression session. In this life, she is realizing the preciousness of life.

In any case, here are some steps that were recommended by Dr David R. Hawkins, author of Power vs Force.

- Reflect on your situation. Apologize to God for that part of you that may have caused the same negative experience in others. Pray for the salvation and happiness of the souls.

- Learn the lessons that the situation is bringing to your awareness. Choose a new, empowering course of action, that is based on love.

- Do good deeds that show your willingness to transcend the karma. For instance, the lady decided to volunteer her time at orphanages.

- Most importantly, forgive yourself. Do not overlook this step! Willingness to forgive oneself means that your consciousness level has risen past the karma.

"Avoid dwelling on all the wrong things you have done. They do not belong to you now. Let them be forgotten. It is attention that creates habit and memory. As soon as you put the needle on a phonograph record, it begins to play. Attention is the needle that plays the record of past actions. So you should not put your attention on bad ones. Why go on suffering over the unwise actions of your past? Cast their memory from your mind, and take care not to repeat those actions again. "

" Few people in this world try consciously to develop the potentials of body, mind, and soul. The rest are victims of circumstances of the past. They plod on and on, pushed by past wrong habits, helplessly going down under their influence, remembering only: "I am a nervous man," or "I am a weakling," or "I am a sinner," and so on.

It lies with each one of us to cut with the sword of wisdom the cords of our bondage, or to remain bound."

-- Excerpt from "The Divine Romance" by Paramahansa Yogananda (author of Autobiography of a Yogi)

How to tell the difference?

When our desire to find out is there, we shall be lead to the truth. Nobody can tell you the root cause of your situation just from listening to your story. Only you can find that out for yourself, through regression/dreams for instance. During regression sessions/dreams, your Higher Self serves as your guide. It will always do what is in the best interests of your soul evolution and it will only show you what you can handle and are ready for.

It is better to "see" and "experience" it by ourselves than have someone psychically "see" it for us. First-hand experience is always more powerful and convincing, and because of that it propels us to make changes in our lives/situations for the better. This is why people often make positive changes in their lives after a near death experience. Reading about other people's near death experience doesn't quite have the same effect.

Accumulating Good Karma

As you accumulate positive karma, you will find that you draw more and more positive experiences, happiness, blessings and abundance into your life. Even when negative periods come, they are more bearable, they don't last as long and you find that you can easily transcend them.

For instance, let's say a couple would like to manifest abundance. However, they hoard all their belongings. Due to this, they have lack in their energy field. As such, it may be difficult for them to attract prosperity. Simply stating prosperity affirmations and doing visualizations may not help as the lack in their energy field only attracts more lack. On the other hand, accumulating good karma for eg. by giving away their resources to a worthy cause etc. only sets up positive attractor patterns of abundance in their energy field, thus making it easier for them to manifest prosperity.

The following are recommended methods of accumulating good karma

- Study spiritual literature of your choice. Practice the teachings and make it your flesh and blood.

- Transcend the Ego

- Practice meditation. Connect to your Higher Self and Spirit.

- Pray

- Invest in your soul growth, eg by reading self-help books etc.

- Do good deeds as an individual/as a couple. Help others. Volunteer your resources for a worthy cause etc.

- Practice noble virtues.

- Learn from the past.

This will not only help you grow as an individual but it will also help you grow as a couple. It will strengthen your relationship. People are innately attracted to goodness.

Fate vs Free Will

All the talk about karma brings us to the question of whether we are slaves to fate or we design our own destiny. Here are some resources that answer this question beautifully.

" The cue to our conduct is always supplied from the known and unknown within. What we are going to be is about seventy-five percent foreordained by ourselves. That "horoscope" of tendencies from past incarnations attracts our present hereditary condition as well as the other circumstances we will draw to ourselves. Fatalists, and some inept astrologers who try to compute the unknown, are greatly mistaken in their belief that life is one hundred percent foretold and can be astrologically charted. They leave no margin for the freedom of the individual: free choice to change himself this way or that, free choice to decide between two courses of action. In most cases, though, the free will of man is nothing more than a slave—in the guise of freedom, but fettered to past tendencies.

Yet everyone knows there is such a thing as an unconditioned decision that we make after rationally balancing the pros and cons of a certain matter. Having made such a decision, if we exercise our will, we can change many things in our lives that appeared unchangeable, or that may have been predicted to be incontrovertible. This willing is freedom of will. Free will does exist. If it were not so, none could escape the vicious circle of his fate once he had drawn it. Growth would be circumscribed. Newer channels of activities would have little scope. The evolution of human beings would hardly emerge from the level of savagery.

The conception of new social orders, progressive ideas in political government, advanced methods of scientific exploration, new departments of research, sallies of literary activity — all prove the ability of man to exercise free choice in every line by the power of will.

As previously stated, you are born with about seventy-five percent of your life predetermined by your past. You will make up the remaining twenty-five percent. If you yourself, through your own free choice and effort of will, do not determine what
that twenty-five percent will be, the seventy-five percent will make the twenty-five percent for you, and you will become a puppet. That is, you will be ruled absolutely by your past, by the influence and effects of your past tendencies. This is why
spiritual training is vital. It takes into consideration not only the seventy-five percent of our lives that we already are, but also designates the methods to mold the brand new twenty-five percent that we ourselves are going to create by the exercise of our freedom.

Cosmic Law Is Activated by Our Decisions

The Cosmic Law is not the doer of things, but the evolutionary mode of operation of cause and effect. This law works changes when activated by the agency of our decisions, which are determined either by our past tendencies, or by our present
free choice. The motive of Eternal Good that is interlinked with the Cosmic Law is in every atom, and in us too. It is what inherently urges us to learn from past mistakes, and to use our free choice and will to initiate those positive causes that produce everlasting good effects."


-- Excerpts from "The Divine Romance" by Paramahansa Yogananda (author of Autobiography of a Yogi)

The philosophical explanation of Karma can differ slightly between traditions, but the general concept is basically the same. Through the Law of Karma, the effects of all deeds actively create past, present, and future experiences; thus making one responsible for one's own life, and the pain and joy it brings to oneself and others. Karma is the expression of the Cosmic Law of Retribution and it can be manifested in various forms; internally and externally, through both pleasurable experiences and disagreeable ones.

The content that comprises Internal Karma refers to the realms of the personality. Therefore, the Internal Karma is the main factor that helps the process of self-expression and enlightenment of the true Self.

When we analyze the External Karma, we face it from a different perspective. It may be good or bad; but it cannot be consider positive or negative, because the real value of Self finds no balance or reference from it. This may be the result of diverse interactions though assorted contacts and situations through our lives, but they never determine the qualities, gifts or development of the Soul which is experiencing them.

A heavy Karma can be expressed as an opportunity of spiritual progress and transcendence, as a light and pleasurable Karma can be presented as a challenge for the human character, values and ethics; as an example, we can see how one behaves in the case of becoming an instant celebrity, or being wealthy.

External Karma cannot be described as either negative or positive; because what determines the dimension of the experience is the response we have in the face the challenges of those specific situations. In other words, the way we react to outside challenges.

Only through the profound analysis of Internal Karma can the seeker truly dimension the amount of internal work they need to undertake in order to develop the path of balancing and releasing their personal Karma. The external aspect of Karma determines under what circumstances the work on releasing must be developed during this incarnation's time. The awareness of this state expresses the first position on the Path of Consciousness.

In order to manifest this work, the seeker must analyze carefully the essence of his External Karma in retrospect. With special meditations, the consciousness tends to expand and, at the same time, allows in a near future the realization of the scope of responsibilities and acceptance of the Life Path; therefore, the recognition of Karma and the consequential correct release.
When applying these concepts to the analysis of our relationships, one must recognize the range of reactions and how they directly interfere in all the personal relationships, especially the romantic ones.

Here are some suggested meditation topics:

1. Remembrance of facts and situations of one's live in different periods of time: the challenges, conditions, alternatives and the more important episodes.

2. The determination of the Character in each event or fact: if they were agreeable or disagreeable, or if they have a positive or a negative effect on your life.

3. Try to remember your reaction on each one of those past events or situations and try to determined if those reactions, attitudes and choices were Karmically correct or incorrect and why.

4. Try to determine what extent the external conditions or events from your past associated with your individual reaction to them and influenced the conditions of your internal life.

The duration of these guided meditations will depend on the extension and the broad scope of the experiences and, as also related, directly to the intensity of the experience.

The understanding of the External Karma allows the Seeker to realize a basic task, which is to affirm oneself as a conscious individual, relying on the Internal Observer to guide one through correct reactions and aligning one's will with a higher purpose.

This correct understanding of the different Karmic states affirms the individual onto a higher path, giving them strength to resist "regressive temptations", especially ones that come with the brilliance of good moments and happy resting times. Spiritual practice is nothing else than a practice, it is internal work, and it never really ceases per se. This posture will equip the Seeker with gifts of fortitude and spiritual assertiveness during times of trial when the "disagreeable Karma" manifests in the Seeker's life.

These are some of the many reasons internal spiritual work has to be developed in a continuum with an awaken mind and a sensitive consciousness.

The suggestion of Karma in a relationship is not a pleasurable thought, no matter how it is manifesting in one's life. There are feelings of déjà vu and an underlying knowledge of what makes the other person tick. Powerful relationships, whether good or bad, almost certainly have a Karmic underlay to them.

All the different types of relationships give us the opportunity for personal development. They can put forward obstacles and rewards, highs and lows. When we experience the Karma involved in a relationship, we tend to find ourselves feeling without control over the circumstances and events, and at a loss of how to act and react to those situations. It is our belief, that while all Soulmate connections are Karmic, not all Karmic relationships involve Soulmates.

In a Karmic relationship, the lessons that we have to learn from each other can be as varied as life itself. One may be certain however, that the lesson will be deep, personal and will demand inner strength.

Sometimes you can catch yourself acting against your personal code of conduct, but what is really happening is that you are setting in motion and correcting some qualities and actions of a past life related to a "personality" that you are no longer consciously familiar with. Therefore, those qualities must be Karmically redeveloped and expanded in order to connect the "two lessons" simultaneously in this present life time.

Generally, people will make their judgment about a relationship based upon the Karma it brings. This can cause people to avoid potential relationship, particularly intimate ones, because of a perception that the relationship will be "high maintenance". Karmic relationships are difficult and challenging, which means that a lot of discussion is required, along with a clearing out of misunderstandings, dependencies, compulsions, and choices. This is a real manifestation as part of the consequences of having a more "mindful" relationship.

As a general rule, the Karmic model is only completely understood with clarity, AFTER the lesson is learned. Karmic relationships are valuable gifts that can facilitate us on our spiritual journey. This can only occur however, if we're ready to let go of the Ego structures that we may find useful as one-lifetime-only plan. When we can apprehend our entire spiritual existence into account, remembering our Divinity and our multi-dimensional nature, we are able to perceive and act from that perspective; only then, major learning experiences can take place in our lives.
In life, Karmic situations usually manifest itself through a succession of similar situations that become evident through the passing of years. When we establish a Karmic relationship, it is because unconsciously we see in the other person something that can effectively help us to solve some of our own limitations and Karma. In other words, we always attract what we need, and in the right moment in life when we are able to understand.

"When the student is ready, the master will appear."

This old saying exemplifies the characteristics and the reasoning behind the way Karmic relationships manifest in our ordinary lives.

This does not mean that all Karmic love relationships have to be demanding or complicated. As we choose to be more mindful, we can transform negative patterns by choosing more conscious and loving behaviors. Together, we can convert Karma into Dharma though the alchemy of our desires into our Intentions.

We are not always able to resolve all our Karmic lessons, because some of these original "revelations" need time to be understood internally. Most of us are still in the beginning stage of collecting information and inside of the process of formation and translation. It can take years to find the totality of understanding of what actually transpired within the context of our Karmic interactions.

What is a relationship? What can make them form and then be terminated? Those are questions that we ask ourselves in order to understand the best way to interact with others. Some of our relationships are Karmic in nature, some are not, and sometimes we see the weight of responsibilities falling over just one of the individuals; but in general, relationships are a mystery to us.

The nature of a relationship can embrace various levels; some are conscious while others are subliminal. Usually the motivations and the Karmic lessons are hidden just under the surface of every association.

Each individual has a multi-faceted personality that can be mixed and rearranged and they tend to fit these facets of their personality with the other individual's like puzzle pieces; and this is what defines the totality of the relationship.

It is important to understand that not every relationship will work well, but we can't miss the reasons behind them: there will be some that have a Karmic nature, while others may present themselves from more of an emotional and or physical nature.

"Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation."
~ Rabindranath Tagore

We all have dreamed one way or another about the perfect relationship: the quest for perfection and integration is engraved deep within our souls.

We may have experienced confusing relationships, where the other half of the relationship insisted on giving mixed signals; or we may have felt that we are not compatible with anyone, simply because it seems that we cannot attract any kind of intimate interaction.

The reality of life is that the working dynamics of a good relationship is not a big mystery. The secret is to really realize and internalize that we are not ever alone and that we are more then we seem to be or see, with the biggest realization being that there is more than one of us around.

The questions about how complicated interpersonal relationships can become, and how challenging and confusing they can be, is just a true reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves.

At this point, the seeker must ask hard questions of oneself, such as who they really are and do they like the person they have become. Does the seeker feel deserving and worthy of unconditional love?

While one can wish to be loved by someone else, the questions reside: do we really love ourselves already, and do we trust, embrace and accept all parts of our inner self?

On these simple questions reside the entire work in rebalancing our internal polarities and eliminating the weight of general Karma in our Life Path.

Many of us function as if we are only half complete and, as sad it seems, this is the reality. If we continue to project the vibration of half of an individual, looking around for someone else to complete us; we will continue to attract an incomplete connection.

The resulting interaction with anyone attracted in this manner will come up short of what we desire.

When we enter into any interaction from the viewpoint that we need the relationship to feel complete, it results in the relationship continuing to reflect and remind us of our belief in our incompleteness. What we will have is a partnership made up of two half-individuals that is not truly satisfying to either of them.
When we know we are a relationship unto ourselves, complete and sufficient within ourselves; we set up a vibration that attracts someone with those same qualities and assurance.

Too many times people make out long, wonderful lists of all the attributes they wish their perfect partner to have. It is better to ask the questions: do we have all those attributes and are we all those things?

The basics of the Law of Attraction talk about the need to create the right frequency from where we can create the perfect energy field to make our intentions strong enough to manifest our dreams.

Unless we are able to reflect the type of vibrational being we choose to attract, how will we ever be seen and recognized by someone who does?

In the work of the Spiritual path, we seek to transform the inner meaning of our male and female templates as different parts of ourselves, and bring our inner spirit to a point of balance and acceptance. Only when we reach this point of equilibrium inside, are we truly able to attract a soul relationship such as a Soulmate or Twin Flame. This is because we become capable of being transparent and stable enough to bring someone that is an accurate reflection of our counterpart.

When we are balanced and aware of only one template, male or female, we are not yet at the point where we can build up a balanced relationship with ourselves. When in a relationship with other beings, we tend to look at our partner as a reflection of ourselves. There is an interesting fact about the projections of the female counterpart from a male individual on his partner and vice versa.

Note: According to Carl Jung, the female counterpart of a male individual is known to be his Anima, and the male counterpart of a female being is known to be her Animus.

If you are a male, your interaction with your female partner will help you to understand better the masculine part of yourself and the reverse happens to a female individual.

Every Monad created is fashioned with the energy of the Trinity, the Yin and Yang that symbolizes the Twin Flames' complementary sides and the main energy of Creation, All That Is. The division of the Divine template is done with the negative polarity as the feminine part and the positive polarity as a male counterpart. Note: negative and positive are not labels. They are polarities of energy and use the terminology of conventional physics.

The polarities can vary according to the need of each incarnation, following the scope of adaptability, the Karmic program (In Buddhism it is explained that the Female incarnation is the one where the attunements of the emotional body are sharper and harder than the typical male one.), and the elements for the proper execution of life purpose.

The Divine Integral Being or the original Monad is androgynous, even though we perceive the Divine union between the feminine and masculine polarities represented in a cosmic level as the real purpose of manifestation. The union between the flames, the polar templates, on Earth is absolutely the personification of the work of spiritual transcendence.

The creative union is not only the association between the positive and negative elements, or templates "M" and "F"; but the fusion into a harmonic whole, individual and unique because the balance of those polarities within bring about the internal androgynous state. This ultimate state preserves all the individual and personal principals, giving to the seekers a new set of values and a new way to express themselves in life.

Faithful Mate?

Tuesday, June 1, 2004 4:11 AM

WOULD YOU BE A FAITHFUL MATE?

1. How physically attractive are you? (Perhaps you should get a second opinion here.) (a) Fair (b) Average (c) Good (d) Great!
2. Do you drink more alcohol or take more drugs than your loved ones feel you should?
3. If you smoke, have you tried to quit smoking but been unable to?
4. Do you feel adultery offends God?
5. Do others describe you as impulsive?
6. Describe your temper: (a) Mild (b) Average (c) Strong (d) So strong you have difficulty in controlling it.
7. Would you lie to prevent hurting another person?
8. How much should your mate be allowed to know about your activities? (a) Only what I am willing to tell him or her (b) Almost everything, but there are some things one should be able to keep private (c) I am happy to honestly tell my mate whatever he or she wants to know.
9. Do you believe and practice the idea that a couple should feel committed to each other before having sexual intercourse?
10. How important is it to you that both you and your partner are sexually faithful in a committed relationship? (a) It would be nice, but not all important (b) It is reasonably important (c) It is extremely important.

SCORING:
Question One: a 0, b 1, c 2, d 3;
Two: Yes 1, No 2;
Three: Haven't tried to quit 2, Yes 1, Don't smoke 0;
Four: Yes 0, No 1;
Five: Yes 1, No 0;
Six: a 0, b 0, c 1, d 2;
Seven: Yes 1, No 0;
Eight: a 2, b 1, c 0;
Nine: Yes 0, No 2;
Ten: a 2, b 1, c 0.

INTERPRETATION:
0-6 Points: You believe in commitment, honesty and integrity in a relationship and can be trusted as much as humanly possible. Your mate should be able to rest securely while you are away. Nevertheless, remember that we are all human; don't play with fire just because you are in this category.
7-11 Points: You like to have the opportunity to do a little flirting and get attention from the opposite sex. You have no intention of being an unfaithful mate when you are in a committed relationship, but enjoy playing with a little fire. You must be careful to always remember the importance of your relationship or you may find yourself tempted at times. Your mate can help by being an interesting partner.
12-18 Points: You do not have a strong desire to be committed to any one person for a whole lifetime. You must be careful to avoid making the other person think that you are more committed than you are; this could save a lot of hurt. Nevertheless, you may find that right one who steals your heart and causes you to become completely devoted. If it happened to Hugh Heffner, it can happen to any of us.
Those who don't like thinking should at least rearrange their prejudices from time to time. Luther Burbank, 1849-1926

Copyright 2004 by J.J. Dewey, All Rights Reserved

So…you have taken the first step and have entered the world of online Spiritual Dating. While everybody's experiences are different, if you keep the 10 Commandments in mind, you won't be led off the path to find your Divine Counterpart.


Namaste.