Spiritual Dating Tips for the Consciously Aware

OMG!!!
I find it most comfortable and stimulating to have sex with my husband entering me from behind but I worry that this makes tantra quite hard as eye contact is very important.

Now I've had trouble with sex in the past years and only now can enjoy full penetration.

Is there another position you can recommend that may make eye contact a little easier but still bring me comfort and enjoyment?

I find that when I am penetrated from the front its more painful for some reason and less pleasurable at times.

Do you think that says something about my mentality about sex and intimacy?

(name withheld)

OM...
If you enjoy it from the back position, relax, and enjoy it. Eye contact becomes irrelevant in tantra after awhile. This is because eye contact is not so much to look at the other, but to look deep within yourself while your eyes are looking out at your partner.

In your favorite position, you can both get into a deep meditation. It may not be easy to do at first. Try to "see" your husband through your mind's eye.

I would not worry about what you should do or not do, because that takes you out of the present. Enjoy what makes you feel good with full abandon. That is more what tantra really is, not "rules"...

And I have to agree with you, it is a good position that takes you to other places, if you allow it. Another one is the x position where you both lie on your back facing each other. You have to have good control over the yoni because both of you will be still. Only the yoni will be contracting and working the lingam. It is a position that is relaxing yet satisfying, the movements are within, you can look out and look in.

OMG!!!
I have never been able to recreate a full body orgasm during meditation, although I hear this is possible. I had an experience of a full body orgasm during meditation once but I saw some “violence” and wondered if I was being “punished” for wanting the experience of an orgasm.

OM...
You are trying to re-create a full body orgasm, but it has to happen on its own. You cannot be the doer while you are in union with a partner or practicing meditation on your own. Surrender is the key.

Kundalini experience can be horrific if there has been no prior preparation. As you know, it can be wonderful, but it is no frivolous event.

The scriptures say there are 27 ways to receive shaktipat (and thus awaken Kundalini) depending on one’s disposition, so it can be either pleasurable or horrifying. As the unfolding of the central channel takes place, there is a real danger of irritating Kundalini. If the nadis (there are 72,000 currents of energy that start at the chakra centers) are blocked, the energy has no where to go and diseases and adverse emotions are real possibilities. To avoid this you must have total control of the mind and the breath and do practices to control the senses.

I have not heard of anyone dying from kundalini crisis, but then the dead are not around to tell us, are they! Seriously though, love is the ultimate achievement from kundalini awakening so when fear is present, it will interfere with the process. Fear stops love, love stops fear.

I would not dwell on the past, wondering if you screwed up an opportunity, or hoping for a repeat performance. It won’t happen, but everything you experience is just what you needed. The past cannot be a re-created moment. You have to live fully in the present and have no expectations while having full faith. That is the best outcome.

You have to trust and surrender. The ego mind left brain wants you to question, have fear and doubt. But Maa Kundalini wants the best for you, she loves you. And like any loving mother, she wants to give you everything, but has to be sure that you are prepared and responsible enough to receive all that she has to give before she goes gives you more. She can only give you what you are capable of receiving. The aspirant must have the attitude of the vira, the warrior.

The “violence” you saw was not punishment. In the spiritual world there is no duality of good and bad. It is more likely showing you something about yourself that you have to clear before moving on.

Continue to purify your senses through meditation and breath. With closed eyes focus on the area between the eyebrows, keep the tongue in khechari mudra (at the roof of the mouth), be aware of the natural sound of breath. Breathe in “So” slowly, bringing the breath in through the nose to the base of the spine. Lock the anal sphincter muscle. Release, exhale “Hum” and bring the breath back up the spine.

This is a good practice to do a minimum of 5 minutes a day. You can also purify with mantras, yantras, yoga exercises such as Rishis, Tibetan Five Rites, Sun Salutations.

OMG!!!
I'm currently NOT in a relationship and I masturbate on a regular basis-would that be considered sexually healthy? And am I able to achieve a tantric orgasm while masturbating?

OM...
As you await your beloved to enter your life, masturbating on a regular basis is considered normal and healthy, but here is a big but.

The orgasm you experience during masturbation is located only in the genitals, and is “weak” because it is only one half of the union, and lacks the “power” to ascend. In order to rise, it needs the “boost” of the opposite polarity to propel it upward. Otherwise, it is just a momentary, temporary relief, like most ordinary orgasms.

A tantric orgasm requires the Divine Union of Siva/Shakti, the marriage of masculine/feminine, the principles of consciousness/energy, the yoking of opposite polarities.

The purpose of tantric orgasms is to elevate your consciousness and bring you into a permanent state of being; that is, bring you eternal bliss. It enhances the connection you have with your beloved a thousandfold. For many people, it is the only time they ever experience being in the present moment. A tantric orgasm involves all the chakras and has the power to change who you are over a period of time. It puts you in deep meditation and has the ability to increase your intuition, brings you insight, visions and mystical experiences. In a tantric orgasm, the muscles spasm, vibrate and oscillate, which squeezes and forces the kundalini to ascend in a deliberate, not haphazard manner.

Masturbating with a vibrator has a downside. You depend on it and many women cannot achieve an orgasm without one.

OMG!!!I have never been able to recreate a full body orgasm during meditation, although I hear this is possible. I had an experience of a full body orgasm during meditation once but I saw some “violence” and wondered if I was being “punished” for wanting the experience of an orgasm.

OM...
You are trying to re-create a full body orgasm, but it has to happen on its own. You cannot be the doer while you are in union with a partner or practicing meditation on your own. Surrender is the key.

Kundalini experience can be horrific if there has been no prior preparation. As you know, it can be wonderful, but it is no frivolous event.

The scriptures say there are 27 ways to receive shaktipat (and thus awaken Kundalini) depending on one’s disposition, so it can be either pleasurable or horrifying. As the unfolding of the central channel takes place, there is a real danger of irritating Kundalini. If the nadis (there are 72,000 currents of energy that start at the chakra centers) are blocked, the energy has no where to go and diseases and adverse emotions are real possibilities. To avoid this you must have total control of the mind and the breath and do practices to control the senses.

I have not heard of anyone dying from kundalini crisis, but then the dead are not around to tell us, are they! Seriously though, love is the ultimate achievement from kundalini awakening so when fear is present, it will interfere with the process. Fear stops love, love stops fear.

I would not dwell on the past, wondering if you screwed up an opportunity, or hoping for a repeat performance. It won’t happen, but everything you experience is just what you needed. The past cannot be a re-created moment. You have to live fully in the present and have no expectations while having full faith. That is the best outcome.

You have to trust and surrender. The ego mind left brain wants you to question, have fear and doubt. But Maa Kundalini wants the best for you, she loves you. And like any loving mother, she wants to give you everything, but has to be sure that you are prepared and responsible enough to receive all that she has to give before she goes gives you more. She can only give you what you are capable of receiving. The aspirant must have the attitude of the vira, the warrior.

The “violence” you saw was not punishment. In the spiritual world there is no duality of good and bad. It is more likely showing you something about yourself that you have to clear before moving on.

Continue to purify your senses through meditation and breath. With closed eyes focus on the area between the eyebrows, keep the tongue in khechari mudra (at the roof of the mouth), be aware of the natural sound of breath. Breathe in “So” slowly, bringing the breath in through the nose to the base of the spine. Lock the anal sphincter muscle. Release, exhale “Hum” and bring the breath back up the spine.

This is a good practice to do a minimum of 5 minutes a day. You can also purify with mantras, yantras, yoga exercises such as Rishis, Tibetan Five Rites, Sun Salutations.