Spiritual Dating Tips for the Consciously Aware

Do You Have Your Ascension Buddy?

2010-10-02T20:56:00.000-07:00

Remember the Buddy System?

Back when I was a child, nothing was more fun in the summer than to go to the pool, or the lake, or the ocean - anywhere you could swim on a hot summer day. Whenever we went, my Mom would always make sure that my best friend could come with us. Invariably, just before we ran off to dive in, my Mom would yell, "Remember the Buddy System!"

The Buddy System. The idea is that since water can be dangerous, you needed a "buddy" who would look out for you while you looked out for them and, as a result, the pair of you would be safer than if each were swimming alone.

(This did not mean that a pair of children could not get into more mischief than one alone, but at least we were safer while doing it…)

As I grew older and reached new stages in life, I started to realize that it was more than just companionship in what I was pursuing as an ideal relationship. I needed a "buddy", a special someone that would understand not only my physical and emotional needs, but my spiritual needs. I realized that what I was looking for was an Ascension Buddy. I found out that the Buddy System was the best way to approach life (and afterlife) in general.

Of course, this led me to back to the starting point. Now what? After years of looking around, I was starting to wonder where I could go to find this elusive type of partner. You have to understand that this was actually a serious situation for me, because I had always believed in the "fairy tale" of the perfect Soulmate who was just supposed to magically show up in my life.

Well, it hadn't just happened. I know you attract the frequency you send out, but my Soulmate and I just hadn't connected yet. I knew that the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with would not be someone I would probably meet in a singles bar and the regular dating sites proved no better. The truth is that once you start onto the spiritual path, you feel compelled to continue going, but it can be a lonely because Nature always creates in pairs and we know that Humans are not really meant to be alone. We all have our divine counterpart, but where was I to find her?

I am a believer in love and while I believe that opposites can attract on the physical level, I also believe that the spiritual level is defined through resonance and alignment of frequencies. We tend to be attracted to people that we identify ourselves with. I wasn't looking for someone who would complete something I was missing; I was looking for someone who matched the best part of me: my Soulmate, a partner for lifetimes.

I was stuck. I had found relationships, but they didn't have the spiritual element that I needed. I wanted someone that could understand my daily meditation rituals, my passion for Oneness and my thirst for Life. I needed someone that would share the Path this life, and maybe other existences together, that could work side by side with me for the greater good of all, and not just be there for long walks on the beach and pina coladas (although I wanted that too).

I needed an Ascension Buddy.

I started looking for a place out there where I could find someone that would connect at the spiritual level as well as at a physical level.

My search ended when I finally realized that I did not needed to look around in an endless search for my other half; I just needed to give the Universe a chance to let it happen into my life. This was made possible not only by being at the right place at the right time, but by looking among people with similar interests and a spiritual life path.

It was simply a matter of engineering synchronicity. Think of it this way: if you are a fisherman, would you have a better chance at catching a certain type of fish by throwing your lure in any old river, or in a pond stocked with the type of fish you wanted?

I was fortunate. I found my Soulmate and based on our similar experiences of frustration in searching for a spiritual partner in the vast sea of people out there, we created a dating site dedicated to helping spiritual singles connect with their Divine Complement: Ascending Hearts.

Our motto says it all: Where two Ascending Hearts become One.

Do YOU have your Ascension Buddy?

If not, try fishing in our pond.

9 Green Date Ideas

2010-04-26T14:38:00.000-07:00

9 Green Date Ideas

By Alex Blackwell, Intent

Dating today is a lot different, from an eco-friendly perspective, than it was 25 years ago when I first met my wife. In 1984 we would hit the McDonald’s on the way to the beach and order bags of fast food placed in Styrofoam containers. After we had our fill of the sun, we would jump back in the car and drive the short one-half mile distance from the shoreline to the Boardwalk where we would play Putt-Putt and shop for souvenirs.

While Mary Beth and I still enjoy our time at the beach, our approach has changed based on our knowledge of how we can better protect the Earth for our children and grandchildren and so on. While there is still plenty of interest from both of us to keep the passion and romance alive, we are beginning to learn how to find romantic things to do that respects our planet at the same time.

1. Exchange cards or notes made out of recycled papers. Nothing delights me more than to find a card or note Mary Beth has left for me. Today, it’s easy to find recycled cards. You may also want to check out www.recycledgreetingcards.com. This site offers 100% recycled cards for almost every occasion.

2. Spend time growing a garden together. Avoiding harmful pesticides is not the only benefit to planting a garden. Gardens help to prevent the run-off of pollutants into our water supplies, plus, the additional vegetation provides a much-need shot of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.

3. Feed the birds. Feed them and they will come. Set up birdfeeders in your backyard and then grab a glass of wine or the drink of your choice and plant yourself next to your mate on a bench as you watch the birds enjoy the feast. After finding your lawn, the birds will return the favor by eating the insects that can damage your yard. A little birdfeed is a better choice that a bottle of Raid.

4. Go to a zoo. Use your time at the zoo to learn how you can help the environment. Discuss how you can help the animals that are facing extinction. Extend the love you have for your partner to the other living beings we share this world with, too. A word of caution: Not all Zoos are animal friendly. Visit Zoos that allow animals to roam in their natural habitats, like the San Diego Wild Animal Park. In fact you may want to visit the San Diego’s Zoo website to get a better sense of how a conscientious Zoo respects its animals.

5. Have a green picnic. There are plenty of choices to turn your romantic picnic into one that is environmentally friendly. Use real plates, not paper; use reusable cups, not disposable ones. And when the picnic is over, don’t forget to recycle!

6. Turn down the heat. During the months of January and February in Kansas City, Mary Beth and I really miss the milder winters of Virginia Beach. While we can’t control the Arctic air that moves across the down slope of the Great Plains and seemingly through our front door, we can control the temperature inside our home. We have learned to be more energy conscious by turning our thermostat to 68 degrees. While this puts a slight chill in the house, it does provide the opportunity for us to lounge in front of a fire or cuddle closer together in bed.

7. Plant a tree together. Trees play an essential role in the eco-system of the earth. You and your partner can visit your local nursery to get information on which trees would be best for the climate and soil conditions in your community. Planting a tree acknowledges the importance of planning for the future, and of setting down roots - two elements essential to a strong relationship.

8. Keep the car at home and walk. Convenience comes with a price. In 1984, the price for a gallon of gasoline was still less than a dollar. We didn’t think twice about using the car to go wherever we wanted to go. Today, my wife and I attempt to walk to our destinations not because of the much higher price of gasoline, but because of our knowledge to care more for our world more. The auxiliary benefit to this approach is unencumbered, and even blissful, time together.

9. Turn off the lights. Save energy and create a romantic ambiance by turning off unneeded lights. At the end of the day, in the darkness of our room, my wife and I find peace and closeness and feel thankful for our time on this earth together. Just as we try to cherish and respect what we share, we are also mindful to show respect and tenderness to the earth that has provided such a beautiful stage to play out our lives.

Get More 30 Days to a Greener You Ideas

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How about a Green Date?

2010-04-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

How to Plan a Green Date: Eco-Friendly Date Ideas

Running out of date ideas? Are you tired of the usual dinner and movie night outs? Why not impress your special someone by having an eco-friendly date? Aside from having a fabulous time together, a green inspired activity is a great way to minimize damage to the environment.

Here are some clean and green date activities to help you pull off a fun and earth-friendly date:

Forget the car - A little sacrifice goes a long way. While driving is convenient, it creates air pollution. Try walking tours instead and save on fuel consumption while partaking the beauty of your local architecture. Plus, you can lose some calories, too. If walking is such a pain, then opt for public transportation, such as buses and trains. Or better yet, take the bike, which is the most eco-friendly way to get around.

Dine at a local restaurant

- Green your dining options, too! Browse your local events guide and check for restaurants in your area that practices green hospitality and cook meals using lesser energy consumption. You can also look for a dining establishment that supports local agriculture or serves organic cuisine.

Visit the farmers market - As going to the farm is rather inconvenient, instead, meet your date on a Saturday morning at a local farmers market and shop for some homegrown produce. Try an organic wine, bread or cheese if you please. A lot of farmers markets are popping up in communities, and visiting one is a wonderful way to support the local agriculture. You will be even surprised to know that these farmers markets not only offer a wide selection of the freshest and luscious fruits, vegetables, meats, seafood, but they also have delectable recipes to share!

Have an earth-friendly picnic at the park - With all those locally grown products you bought, you should consider planning a green picnic at the park. Stay away from plastic utensils and other disposables. Bring your favorite china, silverware, wine glasses, and cloth napkins instead. Whip up some fresh salads, sandwiches, a bottle of wine; pack them neatly in stainless steel food containers, and you're all set for a hearty meal. Spread the tablecloth or blanket; get cozy and enjoy the fresh air.

Give back to the community - Pledge your date time to a local non-profit organization. You and your significant other can either support a cause by donating or volunteering. For instance, you can serve meals at a soup kitchen or help out a retirement facility. Most big cities also have green projects that you can be part of. Just find something you both enjoy, and beneficial for the community.

Check out the outdoors - What is green dating without heading outdoors? The best earth-friendly date is involving Mother Nature! And your options are simply infinite-hiking, swimming, rafting, skiing, kayaking, sailing, surfing are all fantastic green date ideas that allow you to enjoy nature's beauty, and each other!

If you are into green living, arrange a perfect date that minimizes carbon footprint and contributes to earth preservation. Just refer to the green dating ideas above, and surely, your date will appreciate you even more. And he or she might be inspired, too, to start a green lifestyle!

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Symbolic Feng Shui Level - Feng Shui Symbols -

2010-03-17T17:52:00.000-07:00

Symbolic Feng Shui Level - Feng Shui Love Symbols -

By Rodika Tchi, About.com Guide

From my experience as a feng shui consultant, the level that creates a lot of confusion about feng shui applications is the symbolic level of feng shui.

Feng Shui Symbols have a rich, culturally specific history and meaning. Most of us are familiar with the look of many feng shui items such as Chinese coins tied with a red string, wind chimes, three legged toads, gods of wealth, etc, etc.

What is important to understand is that, in order for feng shui to work, you do not necessarily have to apply traditional Chinese feng shui symbols. You have to apply culturally specific symbols that resonate with you. Applying feng shui correctly does not imply you have to apply the culturally specific feng shui items that you may not understand or resonate with.

The reason symbolic level of feng shui works is because of the energy specific symbols bring into one's environment, as well as because of their connection with the subconscious level of your mind. The stronger your connection with these symbols, i.e. the more you like them, the more powerful they become for you.

Some of the most popular Chinese feng shui symbols are:

Love & Marriage Feng Shui Symbols

Dragon and Phoenix
Mandarin Ducks
The Double Happiness Sign
Peony Flowers

Wealth Feng Shui Symbols

Gold Arrowana or Koi Fish
Chinese Coins
The Three Legged Toad
Golden Ingots
Sailing Ship

Good Fortune Feng Shui Symbols

Chi Lin, the Dragon Horse
Golden Cicada
The Red Bat

Health & Longevity Feng Shui Symbols

Sau, the God of Longevity
Lucky Bamboo
Wu-Lou, Gourd

Feng Shui Symbols were used for centuries in feng shui applications because of the power of symbols and associations, as well as because of the energy certain items embody. If a certain feng shui symbol does not resonate with you, feel free to chose one that works for you, expresses the same energy, and it is from the culture you grew up in.

Choose Love with Feng Shui: Attract the Energy of Love

2010-03-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

Choose Love with Feng Shui: Attract the Energy of Love

Feng shui tips for romantic love and self-love

By Rodika Tchi, About.com Guide

Feng shui for love is a popular topic. Not only because we are all looking for love, but also because feng shui has a variety of powerful feng shui tips to help you attract love.

If you type the word "Love" in any search engine, you will come up with love calculators, love tests, and, of course, love-related services at the top of the list. Feng shui brings help to your love search the easy way, thus it is worth taking the time and applying the many feng shui love tips.

When you look for love, the first thing to focus is your love relationship with yourself. Not only because, feng shui-wise, the only way to dramatically improve your love life is to experience more love towards yourself, but also because you will attract a better quality of people once you start feeling more love for yourself. You will also notice an improvement in "all your relations" - with your children, parents, friends and co-workers.

Check the Flow of Love in Your Home

In feng shui terms, the real test of love energy is to honestly evaluate the state of your bedroom, with the bathroom feng shui test being second on the list.

Yes, of course every part of your home speaks about you, but from many years of feng shui consulting I know that only bedrooms - the most intimate space where the "outsiders" are usually not allowed - truly speak of your level of love towards yourself.

Are you ready for a genuine and deeply personal commitment to love, honour and accept yourself? If you are, read on. If you are not, just meditate on the fact that all your painful relationships and Valentine's day dramas are reflecting back to you your inability to love yourself. If you cannot love yourself for who you are, how can you possibly really love another?

Here is a little feng shui "checklist" for your bedroom, just 3 simple questions looking for your honest answers:

Do you like all the items that surround you in your bedroom?

When you wake up in the morning do you feel happy with what you see?

Before falling asleep, do you feel "cocooned" and "nurtured", no matter with or without a partner?

If you answered "No" to any of these questions, do set aside some time to create a clear feng shui plan on how can you start feeling and expressing self-love by creating a nurturing and sensual bedroom. It is just a start, but it is a good and solid one.

Can Feng Shui Really Help Me Find My Soulmate?

2010-03-17T17:41:00.000-07:00

Can Feng Shui Really Help Me Find My Soulmate?

By Rodika Tchi, About.com Guide

Question: Can Feng Shui Really Help Me Find My Soulmate?

I have heard that feng shui can help me find the love of my life. To tell you the truth, I am skeptical, but still willing to give it a try. Can it really help me find my soulmate?

Answer: Feng Shui can certainly help you find love, find your soulmate. The important thing to understand, though, is that a feng shui consultant is not walking into your space with a magic wand and a clear timeline for the expected results. As with everything, you are the one who has to make it happen - and feng shui is a very powerful tool to speed up the love search process and save you a lot of time and effort.

From my experience with clients looking for a love partner, a big factor in how quickly you will see results lies in:

how clear you are with what you want
how ready you are to accept love in your life.

You also have to know yourself very well and know what works for you. Being honest with yourself and committed to your happiness is the first step to attract honest, committed people into your life.

Let me ask you, are you really ready for love? I mean, if the man or the woman of your dreams were to walk into your home today, what message will your home (and particularly your bedroom) be sending?
Last, but not least, if you are pragmatic about using feng shui for love, most likely feng shui will not work so well for you. If you are ready to give feng shui for love tips a try, do it with an open heart and total commitment.

The clients who achieved the most beautiful results truly believed in feng shui as an energy tool and applied the feng shui for love tips diligently and with a clear intent.

Why Romance is Important in Your Dating Relationship

2010-03-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

Why Romance is Important in Your Dating Relationship

Ways to Add Romance to Your Dating Relationship

By Bonny Albo, About.com Guide

Every dating relationship needs romance to stay alive. Most couples have little issue with finding romantic ideas to share with their partner early on, but after the new relationship energy has worn off it may take a bit of time and creativity to get the romance flowing again.

Without romance, couples can easily fall into a rut of day-to-day living. What was once hot and steamy can become boring, routine or even sibling-like.

So how do you keep the romance alive, even when you've got a busy household with other responsibilities? You add one (or more) of these romance ideas every week to find the spark the two of you have been missing.

Offer Up a Massage

Talk Your Partner Up In Front of Others

Take Notes of What Your Loved One Likes

Send a Handwritten Love Letter

Find Romantic Things to Celebrate

Find Ways to Be Romantic Every Single Day

Attract A Love Relationship Using Feng Shui

2010-03-17T17:23:00.000-07:00

Attract A Love Relationship Using Feng Shui

Feng Shui For Love Relationships

By Bonny Albo, About.com Guide

What Is Feng Shui?

Have you ever noticed that, after a spring cleaning of your space you feel lighter? Or that after you moved some furniture, your life seemed to 'flow' a bit better?

That, in a nutshell, is what Feng Shui is. Directly translated, Feng Shui means "wind and water", but an easier interpretation is to say that Feng Shui is the art of placement, or even the art of manipulating the spaces within your home to increase chi (energy) to attract love, wealth and lifelong happiness.

Which, if you think about it, makes sense. Have you noticed how when a door doesn't open properly you feel 'stuck' trying to get in or out of that room? Or when you walk into a house that has a long, dark hallway as the entryway, you feel a little bit claustrophobic? For each of these situation, there are Feng Shui cures - meaning, ways to update your space through color, furniture or enhancements - that remedy the 'afflicted' area.
How Love Relationship Feng Shui Works

Practitioners of Feng Shui can follow one or several different ways of balancing a space to enhance love, but all of the various methods include a map of your space using something called a Bagua. Simply put, a Bagua is a pie chart broken up into nine pieces and superimposed over the layout of your home. The kind of Feng Shui used will determine where your Love and Marriage corner lies: it is usually either the South West corner of your home, or the uppermost right corner of your home. As well, your bedroom (no matter where it lies) is also a haven for love relationships, and thus why many focus on this area of their home, first.
How to Attract A Love Relationship with Feng Shui

No matter which form of Feng Shui you decide upon, there are several quick and simple things you can do right now to enhance your bedroom so as to attract a love relationship. They are:

* Make room for love: Is your bedroom cluttered or full of things from relationships past? Do you have clothes shoved in your closets and underneath your bed? In Feng Shui, to attract a love relationship there must first be room in your life for love. This means clearing enough room around your personal space for another person to join you, including having closet space, at the very least two pillows (if not a bed big enough for two), two side tables, and a clear space under the bed for chi (energy) to roam freely.

* Face the right direction: We spend a lot of time in bed, and in Feng Shui, the direction that your head point towards while sleeping is an important aspect of attracting a love relationship. Figure out your kua number, and determine your best direction for your head to face. And while you are moving things around, try and make sure your feet don't point directly at your door, either.

* Sleep well: Sleeping well can mean a lot of things for a lot of people, but in love relationship Feng Shui, it means ensuring your bed is strong, stable and all your own. This means not re-using a bed shared in previous relationships (or at the very least buying new sheets), having a solid headboard "backing you up", and keeping the bed at a comfortable height (neither too high or right on the floor).

* Remove or 'cure' chi destroyers: What destroys chi in a bedroom? There are many things: mirrors (unless they are small and do not reflect the bed), beams over the bed, plants, dark dreary colors, artwork depicting single people, televisions and computers... and the list goes on. An easier way of remembering what to keep out of the bedroom to enhance Feng Shui for love relationships: only things that are meant for sleep, sex, or clothing should be kept in the bedroom, and nothing more.

Feng Shui Bedroom and Love Tips: Feng Shui Love Check Up of Your Bedroom

2010-03-17T17:19:00.000-07:00

Feng Shui Bedroom and Love Tips: Feng Shui Love Check Up of Your Bedroom

By Rodika Tchi, About.com Guide

Are you looking to attract a love partner? Or, maybe you are in a love relationship that needs a bit of help? Feng Shui has a variety of love tips, or tips for using feng shui to find (and keep!) a joyful love relationship.

Here is a quick feng shui love check-up of your home to see if you are really open and ready for lasting love.

* Is your bedroom comfortable for two people? Feng shui-wise, if your bed is squished in one corner of your bedroom or is hiding behind the door with just one lonely nightstand, you might have a hard time finding a functional love relationship. Feng Shui Love Verdict: Not ready, hiding away from love.

* Does your bed have balanced feng shui energy on both sides? In a love relationship the bed is used by both partners. For a love relationship to work long term, both partners have to feel equal, respected, and treated well. Feng Shui Love Tip: Treat both sides of the bed in a feng shui balanced way, in other words, treat them equally.

* Is there any free space in your closets? A closet that has some breathing room and a free flow of feng shui energy is not only promoting better health and more opportunities, but also, on a practical level, allows your loved one to store his or her items. Plain common sense here!

* Check if the all-important feng shui home trinity - bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen - is treated well. Use smart feng shui tips to help you improve it.

* Can you clearly visualize your life with the man or the woman of your dreams? How would that look, feel, taste, smell? Bring that sense into your home with specific images, feng shui colors, use scents (preferably pure essential oils) that reflect the energy you want. Feng Shui Love Tip: Avoid sad, broken heart images if you want to attract a happy love relationship.

After the feng shui basics above, you can try more advanced feng shui, such as:

* Be sure to properly treat the feng shui energy of the Southwest area area of your space. The feng shui element to nurture here is Earth, so you will bring items, colors, and images that strengthen either the Earth or the Fire feng shui elements, and avoid too much Water, Wood or Metal feng shui elements.

* Apply love-specific feng shui cures, such as objects in two, rose quartz crystals, etc.

To maintain a joyful love relationship, create a bedroom that reflects the beauty of the love relationship you want to be in.

Bad Feng Shui - What Not to Have in Your Bedroom

2010-03-17T17:15:00.000-07:00

Bad Feng Shui - What Not to Have in Your Bedroom

Does Your Bedroom Have Bad Feng Shui?

By Rodika Tchi, About.com Guide

I remember watching a good TV show on home design that left me feeling very upset. That particular segment was on re-designing a bedroom which had a big and quite emotional painting of a lonely woman drowning in a large pool of water. The painting had a strong energy of sorrow and a desperate need to be alone.

The beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder, so there is no point in expressing my opinion about the aesthetical value of that painting. What I can say for sure, though, is that the mentioned art, or any images with similar energy, do not belong in the bedroom.

It felt almost surreal watching the designer re-decorating the whole bedroom around this sad painting, instead of taking a moment and sensing that this is a very inappropriate image for a couple's bedroom.

The other design element from the same TV segment that should never be in the bedroom is a mirror facing the bed. Even though the mirror was stunning - nice and tall, with an elegant gold leaf frame - a mirror facing a bed should not be placed in the bedroom. In this particular case, it was also overwhelmingly close to one side of the bed and sure "working hard" against couple's harmony and sexual healing.

I am not disclosing the designer's name, nor do I know the name of the client. This gives me permission to make a highly probable feng shui statement that the couple who sleeps in that bedroom either is, or soon will be going through considerable emotional difficulties in their relationship. Actually, the most accurate statement is that they were in a difficult place already when filming the show.

How do I know it? It's the feng shui energy communicating in ways that we can all learn to listen to and understand.

Feng Shui Bedroom and Love Tips:

2010-03-17T17:11:00.000-07:00

Feng Shui Bedroom and Love Tips

Feng Shui Love Check Up of Your Bedroom

By Rodika Tchi, About.com Guide

Feng Shui Love Tips: Attract and Nourish Love with Feng Shui

2010-03-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

Feng Shui Love Tips: Attract and Nourish Love with Feng Shui
Use smart feng shui tips to attract and support the energy of love

Feng Shui love tips are among the most popular modern applications of feng shui. Why feng shui for love? Because we all need love in order to thrive physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Feng Shui wisdom offers a variety solutions to improve your love life, and most of feng shui for love tips are easy to implement.

=> feng shui love tips
Although love has many facets, the feng shui information below applies mostly to the romantic aspect of love.

If you are looking to attract a happy love relationship, study your home carefully with feng shui and see if it reflects your intent for love.

Start making space for a love relationship to come into your life. Study the feng shui use of essential oils, candles, crystals to raise the vibrations of your home.

Have images of happy couples, use simple feng shui cures for love, such as things in pairs in the Southwest corner of your bedroom and home.

Article from About.com

Learn about your heart Chakra

2010-03-03T12:30:00.000-08:00

The Heart Chakra is the fourth chakra. Energetically the heart chakra vibrates
to the color green. Some people do see the heart chakra as pink also.

SANSKRIT NAME: Anahata (unstruck)

LOCATION: The heart chakra is located in the middle of your chest between
your breast.

PHYSICALLY: This chakra governs your actual heart and your compassion for
others. The heart chakra also governs the lungs, immune system, thymes gland
and lymph glands. This is the center of how you connect with humanity. The
heart chakra activates during the ages 22 through 28. Whatever happens from
ages 22 to 28 years of age effects the heart chakra. If you have had some
trauma in that time period and find yourself to be unbalanced it is probable that
it is a heart chakra issue.

BALANCED ENERGY: A balanced heart chakra person will feel compassion
for others, people, animals, plants and humanity. A balanced heart chakra does
not mind having time alone and will wait for the right relationship to come to
them. They are not rushed into being in a relationship for the sake of doing so.
A balanced heart chakra person is outgoing empathetic and kind.

UNBALANCED ENERGY: An over active heart chakra person will be
excessive emotionally, one who uses the word love as a weapon, IE, "You don't
love me." or "You won't do this if you love me." an over active heart chakra
person can be manipulative, demanding, overly critical or melodramatic. An
under active heart chakra person may feel unloved, unworthy, not good enough,
feel sorry for themselves, terrified of rejection or afraid to let go and be free of
things/people that no longer serve their highest good.

GEMSTONES: Some gemstones for the heart chakra are, green aventurine,
rose quartz, green and pink jade, malachite, emerald, kunzite, rhodochrocite,
rhodonite.

HOW TO BALANCE: You can balance your heart chakra by listening to
soothing music or sounds. You can pamper yourself in some way like taking a
nice warm bath with bath salts. You can freely give yourself to others without
expecting something in return. You can give yourself or someone else a reiki
treatment.

Emotional Clearing Exercise

2010-03-03T12:06:00.000-08:00

Emotional Clearing Exercise

By: Elaine Murray

1. Take a piece of paper and write at the top: "The reason I cannot have what I want is..."
Then write a list of thoughts that pop into your head to complete the sentence. Don't think too much, and don't take it too seriously. Examples: .............I'm too lazy.
.............I don't have enough money.
.............Mother said I couldn't.
.............I'm afraid to.
.............John wouldn't like it.

2. Do the same exercise, only this time write in a specific thing.
Example: "The reason I cannot have a good job is...."
Sit quietly with your list and see whether any of the thoughts you have written down ring true for you... whether in some way or degree, you believe them. Get a sense of what limitations you put on yourself, and your world.

3. Write a list of the most negative attitudes you can think of about yourself, people, life.
Again sit quietly and get in touch with which of these ideas may consciously or unconsciously hold emotional power over you. If at any point in these exercises you feel emotions coming up, just stay with that and allow yourself to experience it as much as possible, with total acceptance. You may get a flash of an early experience, or something your parents or teachers used to tell you which programmed your view of this world in a certain way.

4. Destory the paper.
Whenever you feel complete with this process, especially if you have gotten in touch with one or more of your negative beliefs that you hold, simply tear up the piece of paper. Better yet... burn it. This symbolizes how little power they actually need to have in your life. It is a good idea to say: "I release this negative belief" as you destroy your paper.

5. Sit quietly, relax, and do some affirmations to replace your constricted, limiting beliefs with more opening, constructive, positive ones. Examples:

* I now release my entire past. It is complete and I am now free!
* I now dissolve all negative, limiting beliefs. They have no power over me!
* I now forgive and release everyone in my life. We are all happy and free.
* I don't have to try to please others. I am naturally lovable and likeable no matter what I do.
* I now let go of all accumulated guilt, fears, resentment, disappointments, and grudge. I am free and clear.
* All of my negative self-images and attitudes are now dissolved. I love and appreciate myself.
* All barriers to my full expression and enjoyment of life are now dissolved.
* The world is a beautiful place to be.
* The universe always provides.

The Purpose of Relationships

2010-03-03T11:57:00.000-08:00

The Purpose of Relationships

- By Paramahansa Yogananda (author of Autobiography of a Yogi)

"Have you not read that from the beginning of creation. God created soul mates among males and females and signified that due to the divine soul attraction between a man and his mate, he will leave father and mother and cling to his wife? When a man and wife are united as true soul mates they will be one flesh, they will act in harmony and unison in body, mind, and soul; their souls will not act with different ideals, but as two bodies, two minds, two souls, with one ideal."

" When God divided Himself as man and woman, both dualities expressed the same unified consciousness, rather than the differentiation or polarity necessary to sustain the illusion of individuality in the manifested world. So He conceived a clever plan, a trick to keep man and woman different from each other and separate from Himself:
He created superficial distinctions in their bodies and minds. When He made man, He used reason and feeling and cosmic energy, keeping reason uppermost and feeling hidden; that is why man's features manifest dispassionate reason. God made woman by using feeling, reason, and cosmic energy, keeping feeling uppermost and reason hidden; that is why her features express softness and call forth feeling. Reason, being aggressive, made man positive with positive sexual processes; and woman, with deep feeling, was negative and thus formed deep sexual recesses.

The ideal spiritual union between man and woman was ordained that man might bring out the hidden reason in woman, and that the woman might help man uncover his hidden feeling. By so aiding each other to develop a perfect balance of these pure divine soul qualities, they would transcend their delusive differentiation as man and woman and realize their true nature as inviolate souls. Liberation was to be
accomplished by their becoming united first to each other in divine friendship, the purest expression of God's love shared between two individuals; and then, thus perfected, ready for the ultimate union with God.

It is clear from Jesus' references to Genesis in these verses that he was citing the law of true soul mates, the immutable law of spiritual love, which should motivate all marriages. This was, as Jesus emphasized, the divine law "at the beginning": that for every true man there was a true woman, and each one who lived rightly on earth would automatically be drawn together in soul-companionship with a mate by
the operation and decree of this law. True marriage serves as a spiritual device for perfecting the full expression of souls and freeing them into God by proper union—a process of evolution through which souls projected away from God into creation would be brought back through restoration, realization, of their divine nature assisted by the companionship of the ideal helpmate."

"Thus man and woman are the two natures of God—reason (knowledge) and feeling (consciousness, emotional reaction)—expressed on the material plane in differentiated bodies. God gave the first human beings the power to commune with Him in spite of this delusion-imposed dual consciousness. He placed them in paradise—the unified consciousness of the soul manifesting in the awakened spiritual eye and the pure divine expression of the causal-astral body. In the original plan of creation, man and woman, ideal soul mates, were to lead a heavenly life by keeping their minds in the divine region of Bliss-Will in the forehead. Spiritual
marriage consisted in the feminine force or feeling uniting with the masculine force or reason and thus becoming whole in oneness with God.The souls that went out of God were to be brought back to God by the process of harmony in body, mind, and soul.

The harmonious balance of reason and feeling leads to intuitive perception and the ability to know what is Truth. Achieving this balance, men and women become gods. In the unbalanced human consciousness, the feminine quality, or feeling, loses its calm intuitive powers under the influence of the restlessness of body consciousness and emotional excitation; and the masculine attribute, or reason, loses its calm intuitive powers when it succumbs to the restlessness of body consciousness and egotistical self-sufficiency. The original man and woman fell from the awareness of their divine state by physical misuse of the sex force, forfeiting the heavenly union of reason and feeling and becoming identified with their material body rather than their
heavenly causal-astral consciousness with its faculty of intuitive perception of God and knowledge of their souls as one with Him.

When two souls come together and bring out the wholeness in each other and ultimately unite with Spirit, that union is a true marriage between soul mates. Soul companions, being primarily united in Spirit and love, find the ever new joy of God as the breath of their existence. The more strongly they become united in Spirit the less they concentrate on sex life. Soul companions in perfect marriage—even if they have sexual union for the propagation of spiritual children to bring good souls to earth—have their minds primarily engaged and engrossed in the perfect love of God."

"To love one's spouse with the pure love of God, and to share a marriage blessed by self-control through mental development, and to create spiritual children, is a noble way to live. To be drowned by material cares, weariness, overwork, greed for money, overindulgence in amusements, buying more things, and slaving for more money and
saving no time for God leads marriage partners to the misery kingdom of Satan. A happy, contented, simple, harmonious married life of self-control and meditation leads them to God.

Success in marriage is very difficult if partners expect too much from their spouses. When each demands fulfillment from the other and that demand is not met, they become enemies. That is why I believe that a lasting and fulfilling marriage is in most cases impossible without spirituality—without a mutual effort to seek satisfaction of
the soul's yearning for perfect love and the joy of fulfillment where alone it can be found: God-communion."

"A husband and wife should be loyal to each other and try to make each other happy in every way. The spiritual wife should not forsake the unspiritual husband, nor should the spiritual husband forsake the unspiritual wife; they should try to influence and help each other as long as it is possible to do so."

Credit:

- Excerpts from "The Second Coming of Christ, The Resurrection of the Christ Within You", A revelatory commentary on the original teachings of Jesus, Volume II, Paramanhansa Yogananda (author of Autobiography of a Yogi)

About Paramanhansa Yogananda:

Please visit http://www.yogananda-srf.org/py-life/index.html

Of particular interest:

On March 7, 1952, Paramahansa Yogananda's passing was marked by an extraordinary phenomenon. A notarized statement signed by the Director of Forest Lawn Memorial-Park testified: "No physical disintegration was visible in his body even twenty days after death....This state of perfect preservation of a body is, so far as we know from mortuary annals, an unparalleled one....Yogananda's body was apparently in a phenomenal state of immutability."

Transcending Negative Relationship Karma

2010-03-03T11:50:00.000-08:00

Transcending Negative Relationship Karma

Karma is defined as action/deed/destiny resulting from the law of cause and effect. Other more common ways of describing karma is "As you sow, so also shall you reap" and "What goes around, comes around". Karma can also be known positively as choice and change.

The Past can affect us in 2 ways.

(1) Experiences resulting from injustice towards others in the past

When our actions have negatively affected others in the past (this incarnation or previous ones), we undergo what we put others through, so that we develop empathy and learn not to do the same. For instance, if we have abused our spouse in a past incarnation, we may incarnate with an option to experience something similar ourselves in this life, as an opportunity to learn. So, the purpose of karma is to teach, not to punish and experiential learning is often the best teacher. Our soul remembers and stores all that we learn.

(2) Unfinished business from the past

However, not all "sufferings" are the result of us wronging others. If you have been abused in this lifetime, it does not always mean that you were an abuser in your past incarnation. To believe so is simplistic and usually incorrect. It is also destructive for an individual's soul growth and understanding.

Some experiences are the result of past patterns remaining in your energy field/in your subconscious mind. For instance, if you have been abused in a relationship in the past, this remains in your energy field, which then sets up an attractor pattern that unconsciously invites more abuse. This happens until the pattern is removed from the energy field/subconscious mind.

How to transcend the negative karma

(1) Finishing unfinished business.

Transcending this type of karma is easier than the other type. The following methods are recommended:

- Emotional clearing work (regression) to release negative pattern from energy field. Setting up a more empowering, resourceful behavior pattern through belief change etc.

- Forgiveness eg forgiving the perpetrator, as when you do this,your soul evolves into higher consciousness, and hence happiness. When you hate somebody, that person receives that thought and hates you even more. On the other hand love transforms a person.

"When Mahatma Gandhi was in South Africa, he was stabbed and lay near death. The officials naturally wanted to prosecute his assailant, but Gandhi refused. "No," he said. "If I put him in prison, he will be a greater enemy. I will win him by love." When the attacker learned of Gandhi's forgiveness, he became his disciple."

- Developing empathy/compassion for others in similar situations. Some people even become advocates for charity of a nature related to their situation, thus accumulating positive karma.

- Releasing negative beliefs. Transcending unhealthy habits. Deciding on more empowering course of action.

(2) Transcending karma resulting from injustice towards others in the past

Of course, this depends of the gravity of the action. For instance, a lady who had difficulty conceiving, dumped her newly born infant near a rubbish bin in a past incarnation. She experienced this in a regression session. In this life, she is realizing the preciousness of life.

In any case, here are some steps that were recommended by Dr David R. Hawkins, author of Power vs Force.

- Reflect on your situation. Apologize to God for that part of you that may have caused the same negative experience in others. Pray for the salvation and happiness of the souls.

- Learn the lessons that the situation is bringing to your awareness. Choose a new, empowering course of action, that is based on love.

- Do good deeds that show your willingness to transcend the karma. For instance, the lady decided to volunteer her time at orphanages.

- Most importantly, forgive yourself. Do not overlook this step! Willingness to forgive oneself means that your consciousness level has risen past the karma.

"Avoid dwelling on all the wrong things you have done. They do not belong to you now. Let them be forgotten. It is attention that creates habit and memory. As soon as you put the needle on a phonograph record, it begins to play. Attention is the needle that plays the record of past actions. So you should not put your attention on bad ones. Why go on suffering over the unwise actions of your past? Cast their memory from your mind, and take care not to repeat those actions again. "

" Few people in this world try consciously to develop the potentials of body, mind, and soul. The rest are victims of circumstances of the past. They plod on and on, pushed by past wrong habits, helplessly going down under their influence, remembering only: "I am a nervous man," or "I am a weakling," or "I am a sinner," and so on.

It lies with each one of us to cut with the sword of wisdom the cords of our bondage, or to remain bound."

-- Excerpt from "The Divine Romance" by Paramahansa Yogananda (author of Autobiography of a Yogi)

How to tell the difference?

When our desire to find out is there, we shall be lead to the truth. Nobody can tell you the root cause of your situation just from listening to your story. Only you can find that out for yourself, through regression/dreams for instance. During regression sessions/dreams, your Higher Self serves as your guide. It will always do what is in the best interests of your soul evolution and it will only show you what you can handle and are ready for.

It is better to "see" and "experience" it by ourselves than have someone psychically "see" it for us. First-hand experience is always more powerful and convincing, and because of that it propels us to make changes in our lives/situations for the better. This is why people often make positive changes in their lives after a near death experience. Reading about other people's near death experience doesn't quite have the same effect.

Accumulating Good Karma

As you accumulate positive karma, you will find that you draw more and more positive experiences, happiness, blessings and abundance into your life. Even when negative periods come, they are more bearable, they don't last as long and you find that you can easily transcend them.

For instance, let's say a couple would like to manifest abundance. However, they hoard all their belongings. Due to this, they have lack in their energy field. As such, it may be difficult for them to attract prosperity. Simply stating prosperity affirmations and doing visualizations may not help as the lack in their energy field only attracts more lack. On the other hand, accumulating good karma for eg. by giving away their resources to a worthy cause etc. only sets up positive attractor patterns of abundance in their energy field, thus making it easier for them to manifest prosperity.

The following are recommended methods of accumulating good karma

- Study spiritual literature of your choice. Practice the teachings and make it your flesh and blood.

- Transcend the Ego

- Practice meditation. Connect to your Higher Self and Spirit.

- Pray

- Invest in your soul growth, eg by reading self-help books etc.

- Do good deeds as an individual/as a couple. Help others. Volunteer your resources for a worthy cause etc.

- Practice noble virtues.

- Learn from the past.

This will not only help you grow as an individual but it will also help you grow as a couple. It will strengthen your relationship. People are innately attracted to goodness.

Fate vs Free Will

All the talk about karma brings us to the question of whether we are slaves to fate or we design our own destiny. Here are some resources that answer this question beautifully.

" The cue to our conduct is always supplied from the known and unknown within. What we are going to be is about seventy-five percent foreordained by ourselves. That "horoscope" of tendencies from past incarnations attracts our present hereditary condition as well as the other circumstances we will draw to ourselves. Fatalists, and some inept astrologers who try to compute the unknown, are greatly mistaken in their belief that life is one hundred percent foretold and can be astrologically charted. They leave no margin for the freedom of the individual: free choice to change himself this way or that, free choice to decide between two courses of action. In most cases, though, the free will of man is nothing more than a slave—in the guise of freedom, but fettered to past tendencies.

Yet everyone knows there is such a thing as an unconditioned decision that we make after rationally balancing the pros and cons of a certain matter. Having made such a decision, if we exercise our will, we can change many things in our lives that appeared unchangeable, or that may have been predicted to be incontrovertible. This willing is freedom of will. Free will does exist. If it were not so, none could escape the vicious circle of his fate once he had drawn it. Growth would be circumscribed. Newer channels of activities would have little scope. The evolution of human beings would hardly emerge from the level of savagery.

The conception of new social orders, progressive ideas in political government, advanced methods of scientific exploration, new departments of research, sallies of literary activity — all prove the ability of man to exercise free choice in every line by the power of will.

As previously stated, you are born with about seventy-five percent of your life predetermined by your past. You will make up the remaining twenty-five percent. If you yourself, through your own free choice and effort of will, do not determine what
that twenty-five percent will be, the seventy-five percent will make the twenty-five percent for you, and you will become a puppet. That is, you will be ruled absolutely by your past, by the influence and effects of your past tendencies. This is why
spiritual training is vital. It takes into consideration not only the seventy-five percent of our lives that we already are, but also designates the methods to mold the brand new twenty-five percent that we ourselves are going to create by the exercise of our freedom.

Cosmic Law Is Activated by Our Decisions

The Cosmic Law is not the doer of things, but the evolutionary mode of operation of cause and effect. This law works changes when activated by the agency of our decisions, which are determined either by our past tendencies, or by our present
free choice. The motive of Eternal Good that is interlinked with the Cosmic Law is in every atom, and in us too. It is what inherently urges us to learn from past mistakes, and to use our free choice and will to initiate those positive causes that produce everlasting good effects."

-- Excerpts from "The Divine Romance" by Paramahansa Yogananda (author of Autobiography of a Yogi)

Love Meditations

2010-03-03T11:43:00.000-08:00

Love Meditations

Love Meditation can heal relationships with the positive, high vibrational energy of love. Love Meditations can also enhance your relationships by creating loving energy that dissolves barriers to communication, sex, deeper meaningful bonding, understanding and appreciation of one another etc.

What is meditation?

Meditation is an altered state activity in which the brain reaches alpha-theta levels of consciousness. At this level of mind, your body, mind and spirit is strengthened and exist in harmony. Your intuition becomes more acute.

There are 2 types of meditation – active and passive.

Passive meditation: The objective is stillness and being free from thought. Or it may be to concentrate on a single point of focus or symbol. The brain can reach theta levels in passive meditation. At this level of mind, one is more receptive to suggestions but will not be able to generate thoughts or images for practical problem solving. Hypnosis fits into this category.

Active/dynamic meditation – The objective is to perform activities such as goal-setting, problem solving, enhancing creativity, enhancing intuition and self healing through guided imagery, at the alpha level of mind. Active meditation tools can be used to achieve desired outcomes in the areas of career, goals, relationships and marriages.

Some of the benefits of meditation are

- Improving relationships/marriages
- Finding soulmates
- Improving problem solving ability, in all areas of life
- Connecting to Infinite Wisdom
- Improved health
- Enhanced intuition
- Enhanced manifestation power, resulting from visualization
- Improved learning ability
- Improved creativity
- Improved IQ

Love Affirmations: Chakra Affirmations

2010-03-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

Love Affirmations: Chakra Affirmations

- Affirmations for the Heart

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I deeply and truly love and approve of myself.
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I am adequate at all times to do that which is required of me.
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I love who I am.
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I am willing to love everything about myself.
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I trust in love.
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I open my heart to love.
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I forgive myself
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I forgive those who need forgiving for not being what I wanted them to be.
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I acknowledge my own loveliness.
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I am pure, good, and innocent.
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Love is the purpose of my life.
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Love is everywhere.
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I open myself to the healing powers of love.
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I follow the path of the heart.
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The healing power of God's love heals my mind, heart and body.

Heal your relationship and yourself holistically through these affirmations.

Love Affirmations: Spiritual Affirmations

Heal your relationship and yourself spiritually through these affirmations.

Credit:
- Louise Hay, “I can do it”
- The Woman of Power, James Lee Valentine

Self Confidence/Self Esteem/Self Love Affirmations

2010-03-03T11:24:00.000-08:00

Self Confidence/Self Esteem/Self Love Affirmations

It is important to love yourself in a marriage, for when you love yourself it is easier to love someone else. Not only that, you also become very attractive and lovable to your partner.

It is hard to generate positive thoughts about your marriage if you can't generate positive thoughts about yourself. You can use self love affirmations to help you in this regard.

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I am a radiant being, full of vitality, enjoying life to the fullest.
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I am beautiful, and everybody loves me. I am greeted by love wherever I go.
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I am becoming more and more self-assured, calm and confident.
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I love life and life loves me.
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I am a beautiful being of light.
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I look upon God, and the Divine within to be the source my happiness.
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I love myself unconditionally for all my perfections and imperfections.
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My inner light shines brilliantly from within me.
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I am beautiful both on the inside and outside.
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The infinite love of Source is filling me.
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I am acting from my Higher Self.
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I look in the mirror joyously and say "I love you. I really love you."
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I release all past perceived wrongdoings of my husband. I release them with love.
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I honor who I am.
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I see the world through eyes of love and acceptance. All is well in my world.
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I willingly release any need for struggle or suffering. I deserve all that is good.
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I choose to be at peace with myself.
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I am choose to feel good about myself. I am worthy of my own love.
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It does not matter what other people say or do. What matters most is how I choose to react and what I choose to believe about myself.
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I am wonderful, and I feel great. I am grateful.
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The greatest gift I can give myself is unconditional love.
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I love myself exactly as I am. I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself.
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I am a creature unlike any other - truly unique and blessed.
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I am irresistibly attractive to any man!
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Life supports me in every possible way.
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I move through life knowing that I am Divinely protected and guided.
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I can do all things through Spirit who strengthens me.
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I am a woman of substance.
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Any man is lucky to have me!
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Any man is lucky to have me because ...
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I am a woman truly busy fulfilling my life purpose.
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I see myself achieving great heights of success.
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I see myself achieving ..., ..., ...
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I am a truly remarkable women who had achieved ...., ..., ... (List all your successes no matter what they are!)
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I love my life!
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Today is a wonderful day!
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It's a fabulous day for singing a song!
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I have abundance of self-assurance!
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I attract miracles into my life now!
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.... award winning scientist!
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.... the woman of power!
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.... empowering author extraordinaire!

"Your perception of me does not make it reality" - Anonymous

Heal your relationship and yourself spiritually through these affirmations.

Credit:
- Louise Hay, “I can do it”
- The Woman of Power, James Lee Valentine

Spiritual Relationship Affirmations

2010-03-03T11:20:00.000-08:00

Relationship Affirmations - Spiritual Relationship Affirmations

We interact not only on a verbal level in relationships, but also on an energetic level. We are picking up each others' thought and feeling vibrations all the time. Hence, it is important to affirm that the energy exchanged is predominantly based on love and compassion.

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My husband and I are aligned with Spirit, more and more each day.
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Spirit is the source of love for me and my husband.
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Spirit is the source of abundance for me and my husband.
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Spirit heals our marriage thoroughly on all levels.
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Spirit dissolves all that is unlike love from our marriage.
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Through this marriage, we are growing closer to Spirit each day.
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Spirit blesses me and ________ with health, harmony and prosperity.
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Spirit fills me and ________with Divine Love and compassion.
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We are filled with the light and love of Spirit at all times.
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We surrender all differences between us to Spirit.
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My partner and I fulfill Divine potential in our marriage for Thy Glory.
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Spirit heals all differences between me and my partner.
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I interact with my partner from the level/heart of my Higher Self more and more each day.
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I see and focus on our similarities more and more each day.
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How easy it is to create a marriage made in heaven!
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I trust that my marriage is in the safe, protective, loving arms of Spirit.
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I love my partner as Spirit loves me.
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We can do all things through Spirit who strengthens us.
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I trust the voice of Spirit inside me as the guide for all actions and decisions.
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I AM the divine love presence here and now in this marriage.
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Spirit guides by letting me know when to talk and when to stop and listen. With Spirit's help, I empathize with my partner's position easily. With Spirit's help, I see things from my partner's point of view easily.

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Our home is filled with beautiful loving energy. (visualize)
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Our bedroom is filled with beautiful loving energy. (visualize)
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Our bed is charged with the energy of love and romance. (visualize)
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My aura harmonizes perfectly with that of my partner's and is filled with pure love when we are together.
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My energy harmonizes perfectly with that of my partner's and is filled with pure love when we are together.
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Our chakras are aligned in perfect harmony with Source and between ourselves.
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Love and peace surrounds my husband and I at all times.
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We are surrounded with romantic, loving energy when we are together.
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Our minds function in perfect harmony.
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My husband and I are cosmically compatible souls.
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My husband and I exude an inviting sense of heart, compassion and support towards each other. We intuitively feel safe, relaxed, wanting to get closer. We emanate a peaceful glow. We feel good around each other. We feel energized and optimistic when we are together.

Heal your relationship and yourself spiritually through these affirmations.

Credit:
- Louise Hay, “I can do it”
- The Woman of Power, James Lee Valentine

How to use relationship affirmations/love affirmations

2010-03-03T11:17:00.000-08:00

How to use relationship affirmations/love affirmations

You can never heal relationships by talking and thinking about how awful it is. Love affirmations help heal your relationship by turning your thoughts away from the problems and help create new thoughts that will produce a solution.
Relationship Affirmations/Love Affirmations

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I see you clearly with the eyes of pure, unconditional love. I love what I see.
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My marriage/relationship made in heaven is made manifest on earth.
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I am in a joyous, intimate relationship.
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Every day in every way our marriage is getting better, better and better.
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My partner and I are very much in love with each other.
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My partner and I arefully compatible and perfectly aligned physically.
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My partner and I arefully compatible and perfectly aligned sexually.
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My partner and I arefully compatible and perfectly aligned emotionally.
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My partner and I are fully compatible and perfectly aligned intellectually.
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My partner and I are fully compatible and perfectly aligned spiritually.
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I draw love and romance into my life and I accept it now.
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My partner is loyal to me.
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I am magnetic and irresistible to my partner.
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I radiate pure, unconditional love towards my partner.
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From time to time I ask my husband, "How can I love you more?"
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I choose to see my husband clearly with the eyes of love and compassion, I love what I see.
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Love happens! I release the desperate need for love. I release the need for my partner to approve of me. I allow love to find me easily and effortlessly.
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Love is all around me. I feel everywhere. Joy fills my entire world.
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I was born to learn to love myself more, and to share that love with people around me.
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My partner is the love of my life and we adore each other.
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I rejoice in the love I encounter everyday.
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I now deserve love, romance, and joy--and all the blessings that life has to offer me.
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Love is all there is!
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Only love is real.
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I radiate pure, unconditional love towards my partner.
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I am safe in all my relationships. I am always treated well.
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Long-lasting, loving relationships brighten my life.
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I am very grateful for all the love in my life. I find it everywhere.
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I am surrounded by love. All is well.
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My heart is open to love. I speak loving words to my spouse.
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I have a wonderful partner, and we are both happy and at peace.
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I come from the loving space of my heart, and I know that love opens new possibilities.
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There is no problem so big or so small, that it cannot be solved with love.
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Deep at the center of my being is an infinite well of love.
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I am in a joyous intimate relationship with a person who truly loves me.
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My relationships are mirrors that show me myself.
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I am now learning from all my relationships.
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I laugh with my husband more and more each day.
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My relationships are helping me to heal and love myself.
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I am strong, vulnerable, and loving in my relationships.
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I deserve love and sexual pleasure.
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All is well in my marriage. Really.
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I am now ready to accept a happy, fulfilling relationship.
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I am now ready for my relationships to work.
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I love myself and I naturally attract loving relationships into my life.
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I am now attracting exactly the kind of relationship I want.
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I am now divinely irresistible to my perfect mate.
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All difficulties between me and ________ are now being healed.
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The more I love myself, the more I love ___________.
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I love ____________ and____________ loves me.
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All of the changes in my marriage and life are positive. I am safe.
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I am open to receiving love and to extending it.
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I interact with my husband positively and joyfully more and more each day.
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I/We remain focused on the big picture in our marriage.
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Giving my husband unconditional love makes me feel energized.
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I enjoy performing small acts of kindness for my husband. I love to see joy on his face.
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I always keep a sense of humor about things in my marriage.
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I am always centered and in present moment in my life and marriage.
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I accept, respect, and enjoy our differences. Differences add interest and variety to my marriage.
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I look for ways to contribute to my partner's growth and happiness. I support my partner in their goals unselfishly, knowing that it will make them happy.
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I respect what my partner has to say. I listen to my partner with genuine interest. I offer empathy when appropriate.
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I desire love, so I give my partner love.
I desire respect, so I give my partner respect.
I desire cooperation, so I give my partner cooperation.
I desire compassion, so I give my partner compassion.
I desire control, so I give my partner control!

For women:

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I am feminine and full of grace.
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I am feminine and receptive.
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I possess great inner-strength.
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I am fully receptive and appreciative for all the love that my partner showers upon me.
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I release excessive control. I live and let live in my marriage.
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I am receptive to my husband's romantic advances.
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I greatly admire and respect my husband for all that he is.
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I admire and respect my partner because ...
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I verbalize my respect and admiration for my partner daily.
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My yin/feminine energy blends perfectly and beautifully with my partner's yang/masculine energy.

Relationship Affirmations / Love Affirmations

2010-03-03T11:11:00.000-08:00

Relationship Affirmations / Love Affirmations

Relationship Affirmations/Love affirmations are one of the many powerful ways to deliberately design the future of your relationship. Love affirmations/relationship affirmations can used to complement relationship creative visualization.

What are Affirmations?

An affirmation is a statement expressing a desired outcome that you say to yourself. It puts you in a frame of mind that assumes that your goals are achievable and possible. It keeps your mind focused on your outcome. When used repetitiously, it becomes firmly planted in your unconscious mind. Hence, eventually what you have affirmed for becomes a reality.

Keep the following points in mind when crafting affirmations

1) Phrase them as if they are occurring in the now.
For eg. If your outcome is to become a more confident person, a suitable affirmation might be: ‘I am becoming more and more confident. I am feeling better and better about myself’.

2) Phrase affirmations in terms of what you want rather than what you don’t want, a negation. For eg, ‘I am not a self-conscious person’ instead ‘I am becoming more and more confident, content and fulfilled’. The brain cannot evaluate ‘not self-conscious’ without thinking of being self-conscious. For instance, when someone tells you ‘Do not think of a pink elephant’ What are you thinking of next? Also do not say ‘I have no self-doubt’ You get reminded of having self-doubt.

3) Do not give affirmations specific deadlines, for instance, ‘In three months time I will become a more confident person.’ Firstly, it might take more than 3 months to achieve that. Secondly, your unconscious mind might not want to work on your goal for now.

4) Craft or pick affirmations to work on that resonate with you the most, at that particular point in time.

5) Remember, energy follows thought.

6) Many self help books recommend that affirmations are repeated out aloud hundreds of times each day. However, saying out loud has nowhere the same impact on your feelings and behaviors as hearing the same things inside your mind. If you are telling wonderful things on the outside, but hearing a critical, demoralizing voice on the inside telling you that you are fooling yourself, your internal voice's suggestions will win every time. To overcome this, it is best to do internal programming of affirmations at the alpha level of mind.

7) Affirmations are most powerful when combined with visualizations, in a meditative alpha state of mind

Love Affirmations: Spiritual Affirmations

Heal your relationship and yourself spiritually through these affirmations.

Credit:
- Louise Hay, “I can do it”
- The Woman of Power, James Lee Valentine

Management of energy in love relationships

2010-03-03T11:01:00.000-08:00

Love & Relationships

His Needs, Her Needs

Dr. Willard Harley has distilled the following needs for both men and women, for a satisfying marriage. It does not come as a surprise that the needs of men are quite different from those of women. Isn’t that what makes the world such an interesting place? The intent of this article is never, ever to critique your spouse for not fulfilling your needs, but rather to take the initiative and do your part in fulfilling your spouse’s needs.

Her Needs

1) Affection

To most women affection symbolizes security, protection, comfort, and approval. When a husband shows his wife affection, he sends the following messages: (1) I'll take care of you and protect you; (2) I'm concerned about the problems you face, and I am with you; (3) I think you've done a good job, and I'm so proud of you.

Men need to understand how strongly women need these affirmations. For the typical wife, there can hardly be enough of them. A hug can communicate all of the affirmations of the previous paragraph. But, affection can be shown in many ways such as: kisses, cards, flowers, dinners out, opening the car door, holding hands, walks after dinner, back rubs, phone calls--there are a thousand ways to say "I love you." From a woman's point of view, affection is the essential cement of her relationship with a man.

2) Conversation

Wives need their husbands to talk to them and to listen to them; they need lots of two-way conversation. In their dating life prior to marriage, most couples spent timetime showing each other affection and talking. This shouldn't be dropped after the wedding. When two people get married, each partner has a right to expect the same loving care and attention that prevailed during courtship to continue after the wedding. The man who takes time to talk to a woman will have an inside track to her heart.

3) Honesty and Openness

A wife needs to trust her husband totally. A sense of security is the common thread woven through all of a woman's five basic needs. If a husband does not keep up honest and open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust and eventually destroys her security. To feel secure, a wife must trust her husband to give her accurate information about his past, the present, and the future. If she can't trust the signals he sends, she has no foundation on which to build a solid relationship. Instead of adjusting to him, she always feels off balance; instead of growing toward him, she grows away from him.

4) Financial Commitment

Financial commitment is a fourth need a wife experiences. She needs enough money to live comfortably: she needs financial support. No matter how successful a career a woman might have, she usually wants her husband to earn enough money to allow her to feel supported and to feel cared for.

5) Family Commitment

A wife needs her husband to be a good father and have a family commitment. The vast majority of women who get married have a powerful instinct to create a home and have children. Above all, wives want their husbands to take a leadership role in the family and to commit themselves to the moral and educational development of their children.

His Needs

1) Sexual fulfillment

The typical wife doesn't understand her husband's deep need for sex anymore than the typical husband understands his wife's deep need for affection. But these two ingredients can work very closely together in a happy, fulfilled marriage. Sex can come naturally and often, if there is enough affection.

2) Recreational companionship

He needs her to be his playmate. It is not uncommon for women, when they are single, to join men in pursuing their interests. They find themselves hunting, fishing, playing football, and watching sports and movies they would never have chosen on their own.

After marriage wives often try to interest their husbands in activities more to their own liking. If their attempts fail, they may encourage their husbands to continue their recreational activities without them. But this option is very dangerous to a marriage, because men place surprising importance on having their wives as recreational companions. Among the five basic male needs, spending recreational time with his wife is second only to sex for the typical husband.

3) An attractive spouse

A man needs a wife who looks good to him. Dr. Harley states that in sexual relationships most men find it nearly impossible to appreciate a woman for her inner qualities alone--there must be more. A man's need for physical attractiveness in a mate is profound.

4) Domestic support

He needs peace and quiet. So deep is a husband's need for domestic support from his wife that he often fantasizes about how she will greet him lovingly and pleasantly at the door, about well-behaved children who likewise act glad to see him and welcome him to the comfort of a well-maintained home.

The fantasy continues as his wife urges him to sit down and relax before taking part in a tasty dinner. Later the family goes out for an evening stroll, and he returns to put the children to bed with no hassle or fuss. Then he and his wife relax, talk together, and perhaps watch a little television until they retire at a reasonable hour to love each other. Wives may chuckle at this scenario, but this vision is quite common in the fantasy lives of many men. The male need for his wife to "take care of things"--especially him--is widespread, persistent, and deep.

5) Admiration

He needs her to be proud of him. Wives need to learn how to express the admiration they already feel for their husbands instead of pressuring them to greater achievements. Honest admiration is a great motivator for men. When a woman tells a man she thinks he's wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more. He sees himself capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills far above those of his present level.

If any of a spouse's five basic needs go unmet, that person becomes vulnerable to the temptation of an affair. Therefore, the best way to prevent adultery is to meet the needs of your spouse and make your marriage strong.

Credit:
His Needs, Her Needs, Williard Harley

Love Busters

Marriage Throughout the Ages

2010-03-02T14:44:00.000-08:00

Marriage Throughout the Ages

In ancient Egypt, a woman's rights and privileges were
equal to that of her husband. After marriage, women held
control of their independence, property and wealth, and
either person could easily get a divorce. For two people to
be considered married, all they had to do was move in with
each other.

***

Marriages in ancient Greece were arranged by parents and
approved by the gods. Women in their early teens were
married to men in their mid-thirties, and a husband had to
buy his new wife from her father. Many couples did not see
each other until after the ceremony, when the bridal veil
was removed. On the night before the wedding, the girl's
hair was cut off and she was bathed in holy water from a
sacred fountain.

***

The Spartans believed that a person's athletic ability
matched their fitness for marriage. Before marrying, a
couple was required to wrestle in public to show their
compatibility. The groom's father chose a bride for his
son. Twelve months after the selection, the couple was
married. During the marriage ceremony, the bride wore a
white robe, a veil, and jewelry given to her by her new
husband's family.

Roman brides wore white tunics with orange veils and orange
slippers. Following the ceremony, the groom carried his
bride over the threshold of their new home to symbolize his
ownership of her.

***

Christian church marriages were thought to be made in heaven
and therefore could never be broken. The father of the bride
gave a dowry of land or money to the groom. If the marriage
was unsuccessful, the wife and the dowry were returned to
the father's home, but neither partner was allowed to remarry.

***

Until the 1400s, married couples did not live together in
Japan. They stayed in separate homes, meeting only at night.
The old Japanese word for marriage meant, “slip into the
house by night.”

What are Toxic Emotions

2010-02-27T08:59:00.000-08:00

Release Toxic Emotions
Although we are all aware of the health-depleting effects of toxic substances and toxic foods, toxic emotions are often the most harmful accelerators of the aging process.

Whenever you carry resentment, hostility, regret, or grievances in your heart, your vitality is eroded. Try this simple practice:

- Find a quiet place, sit comfortably, and close your eyes.

- Now take a few minutes to settle your mind with a meditation.

- After a while, bring your attention into your body and scan it for any area of tension or resistance. If you identify a place of congestion, have the intention to let it go.

- Bring your attention into your heart and acknowledge all the things for which you feel grateful.

- Now listen to your heart and ask yourself the question, "What am I carrying with me from the past that is no longer serving me well in the present?"

- If you identify any encumbrances in your heart, have the intention to release them now. Let go of any resentments, grievances, or regrets that you find.

- As you release these toxic emotions, see if you can find the gift that this toxic emotion was hiding. For example, if you felt pain as a result of someone's behavior, the gift may be that you learned more self-reliance.

- Make the commitment to regularly acknowledge gratitude and relinquish all grievances from the heart.

Encumbering your heart with toxic emotions prevents you from fully experiencing the magic, mystery, and joy that is available to your right now. Make the commitment to release the resentments, regrets, and grievances that are causing more harm to you than anyone else.

The process of releasing emotional toxins is similar to that for releasing physical ones. You must first have a clear intention that you want to replace life-depleting emotions with life-enhancing ones. The metabolism of regret and resentment into compassion and forgiveness can dramatically awaken your body, mind, and spirit to your primordial vital energy.

Write about the history that created the toxic emotion, describing both what happened and how you feel as a result of the situation. Studies have shown that journaling about upsetting emotional experiences can improve your immune function, as well as help you gain clarity and insight.

In his book, Nonviolent Communication, psychologist Marshall Rosenberg teaches an emotional vocabulary that avoids victimization. Steer clear from words like abandoned, abused, neglected, and mistreated; instead, describe the actual feelings of anger, sadness, loneliness, and fear that the circumstances evoked.

Once you have written about the circumstances leading to the toxic emotions, perform some physical ritual with the intention of releasing the hold these feelings have on your soul.

Do some deep breathing, get a massage, pound a pillow, dance with abandon, or go for a long run until your body has released the tension that is stored with the emotion.

Then, open your heart to feelings that generate the age-reversing emotions of forgiveness, harmony, laughter, and love rather than the entropy evoking onces of anguish, resentment, regret, and despair.

Toxic emotions are often the most harmful accelerators of the aging process. Commit to releasing them from your hear and mind.

- Grow Younger, Live Longer by Deepak Chopra, M.D. and David Simon, M.D.

What else? What else do you think will help?

Creating a loving life

2010-02-27T08:36:00.000-08:00

- Do something every day to keep the awakened God within from falling back asleep. Remember that your feelings of excitement are the result of the way you think, and when your thoughts harmonize with Source energy, you begin to feel your passion. Therefore, you must keep a constant watch on your mental activity. Maintain a journal to record what fires you up - the more you write, the more you invite passion to live within you.

Go on the Internet and view sites that talk about and promote ideas you feel enthusiastic about. Telephone or e-mail someone out there who shares the same vision as you. Open a private bank account that contains seed money to fund a passion. Whatever you do, remind yourself that this is your passion and you're feeding and nurturing it every day. As this becomes your habituated way of being, you'll see the universe cooperating and offering experiences that match your desires.

- Develop a sense of awe that then leads to the creation of passion by beginning to look at everything as though you're seeing it for the first time. Don't let the concept of boredom even creep into your thoughts.

I've participated in thousands of interviews of all types over the past four decades. Frequently I've been asked, "Don't you find it boring to be asked the same questions over and over?" My response, which comes from the heart, is: "I've never been interviewed by this person, at this time, on this subject, under these circumstances before." Thus, every interview is a brand-new joyful endeavor, and this keeps my passion alive. I employ the same kind of thinking when I'm about to give a lecture for the tenth time in two weeks - each presentation before a live audience is a novel experience.

Look at your entire life in this way: Make love to your spouse like it's the first time. Read to your children like it's the first time. Go for your daily run like it's the first time. Every new moment is a gift from the all-knowing Tao, so when you act as if each experience and moment is a fresh one, you'll feel the passion I'm attempting to convey.

- Take a five-minute time-out today to repeat the following affirmation: I invite the presence of God to be with me in the form of my passion. This reminds you that every moment of excitement you feel is evidence that you have Divine guidance in the moment. By holding on to it, you'll enter the Excuses Begone! zone.

As Thomas Aquinas observed: "True peace consists in not separating ourselves from the will of God." All of your moments of excitement, enthusiasm, and passion are moments of connection. They bring true peace. Excuses, on the other hand, are what you employ when you separate yourself from your passion, or the will of God. Excuses are lifelong habits that take you away from peace. You always have the choice: passion, peace, and alignment with God; or excuses, excuses, and more excuses.

- Excuses Begone by Dr. Wayne W Dyer

What is Interracial marriage

2010-02-24T17:47:00.000-08:00

What is Interracial marriage
(Article from WIKIPEDIA)

Interracial marriage occurs when two people of differing racial groups marry, often creating multiracial children. This is a form of exogamy (marrying outside of one's racial group) and can be seen in the broader context of miscegenation (mixing of different racial groups in marriage, cohabitation, or sexual relations).

Intercultural marriage complications

Oftentimes, couples in intercultural marriages face barriers that most married couples of the same culture are not exposed to. Intercultural marriages are often influenced by external factors that can create dissonance and disagreement in relationships.[106] Different cultures endure vastly diverse moral, ethical and value foundations that influence their perceptions of individual, family and societal lifestyle. When these foundations are operating alongside the foundation of different cultural roots, as in intercultural marriages, problems and disagreement oftentimes occur.[106] However, interracial marriages are not always intercultural marriages, as in some countries, such as the United States, people of different races can share the same cultural background.
[edit] Family and society

The most common external factors influencing intercultural relationships and marriages are the acceptance of the family and the society in which the couple lives.[106] Sometimes, the families of the partners display rejection, resistance, hostility and lack of acceptance for their kin’s partner.[106] Specific issues regarding the family; including generational gaps in ideology, and how the wedding will be held; which ties into how tradition will or will not be practiced. Many intercultural couples report conflict arising over issues of how to carry out child raising and religious worship as well. Dealing with racism from outside sources is also a common area of potential conflict.

Thai Personals

African singles

Romanian Singles!

German Singles Live

Singles in France!

How to Date a Vegan

2010-02-24T17:22:00.000-08:00

How to Date a Vegan
By eHow Contributing Writer

No meat and no dairy sounds like a recipe for no fun. You don't have to give up your undying love for hamburgers just because the new love in your life has. Dating a vegan does require a little understanding and consideration.
#
Step 1

Know what you're signing up for. Vegans don't eat any animals products and maintain very strict diets. If cheeseburgers and milkshakes are your idea of a romantic dinner, you might want to rethink your choice in a mate.
#
Step 2

Respect a vegan's lifestyle. One chooses to practice an animal-free diet based on personal beliefs. While you may not agree with or understand the vegan diet, don't question or challenge the decision not to eat meat or dairy.
#
Step 3

Recognize your mate's eating habits have no direct impact on your life, so don't focus on their veganism. Drawing attention to her decision not to eat meat and dairy will only make her uncomfortable and defensive.
#
Step 4

Continue to maintain your regular eating habits. Just because you're dating a vegan doesn't mean you have to become one. There's always room for improvement when it comes to diet and exercise, but don't adapt to a vegan lifestyle to gain your significant other's affections.
#
Step 5

Acquaint yourself with non-meat and dairy delicacies. Vegan diets aren't void of all flavor. Meat and cheese substitutes are abundantly available and taste great. Whipping up a delicious vegan feast is sure to score you some points.

Original article can be found at http://www.ehow.com/how_2123409_date-vegan.html

Four Common Obstacles to Exploring Tantra Sexual Practice

2010-02-24T16:34:00.000-08:00

Four Common Obstacles to Exploring Tantra Sexual Practice
By Cory Silverberg, About.com Guide

In his book The Essential Tantra , author and teacher Kenneth Ray Stubbs writes about four common obstacles people experience to exploring Tantra sexuality.

The first is the idea that in sex we are either a spectator or a performer. If our attention is focused on watching what is going on, what our partner is doing, or how our body is looking or responding, we are taken out of an awareness of the moment. Tantra is about moving away from the “acting” and towards “being”

The second is about judgment. We need to try to stop ourselves when we are judging appearances in intimate moments. It’s not that we shouldn’t have personal tastes, or that it is even possible to be completely non-judgmental. But if we’re doing this judgment either with ourselves when we are alone, or with a partner, during a sexual moment, it is likely that we’re doing it as a way of keeping ourselves separate from the experience.

The third obstacle is comparing our current experience with past experiences. We all do this to some extent, it is only natural. But when we focus on this, we are unable to experience things in a new way, to see new possibilities. By focusing on the present, Tantra practice encourages us to stop comparing or working from expectations, and start experiencing each sexual encounter for what it is.

The last obstacle Stubbs writes about is having specific expectations of the future. Tantra is about the journey, not the destination. Having our mind fixed on a final goal means we can't focus our energy on what it’s like to get there.

Tips to Add More Romance to Your Love Life

2010-02-24T16:14:00.001-08:00

Enhance Romance
Tips to Add More Romance to Your Love Life
By Susan Breslow Sardone, About.com Guide

s there enough romance in your love life? Romance doesn't have to cost a thing; romance simply requires some thought about what you can do to please your mate more. Once you dedicate yourself to enhancing romance, you're likely to experience greater intimacy and an improved love life. Here are just a few ideas to increase the amount of romance in your life:

ROMANCE TIP #1: Write a Love Letter

Sometimes it's easier to put thoughts of romance in a letter than to speak them aloud. If that's how you feel, follow these simple tips for writing a personal, deeply felt love letter that expresses your feelings of romance and affection for the other person.

ROMANCE TIP #2: Say it with Roses

A bouquet of roses can work wonders to melt a heart or forgive a hurt. But before you pick up a stem, make sure that the color roses you select send the correct message of romance.

ROMANCE TIP #3: Plan a Romantic Getaway

Sometimes simply planning and anticipating a trip will heighten feelings of romance. Set aside time to go over your calendars, determine when you can get away, and discuss what type of setting you consider best for romance. Find current information on romance packages by clicking the link above.

ROMANCE TIP #4: Surprise Your Partner with a Small Gift

Whether it's a scented candle, a bottle of massage lotion, or some bubble bath, your gift of romance doesn't have to be expensive... just something that will please your mate. And if you want to turn up the heat even more, assemble an entire basket of romance with a variety of sensual gifts inside.

ROMANCE TIP #5: Pick Out Some Sexy Lingerie

Something scant and filmy can do wonders to enhance romance. While many women feel self-conscious or that they need a perfect figure to wear sexy lingerie, it's simply not true.
ROMANCE TIP #6: Put on Mood Music

Set the scene for seduction by playing your favorite sounds. What CDs or MP3s put you in the mood for romance?

ROMANCE TIP #7: Add Diamond Sparkle

If you can afford a diamond ring or bracelet or pendant, go for it. The sparkle in a woman's eyes when she opens such a gift is likely to yield an immediate outburst of romance.s there enough romance in your love life? Romance doesn't have to cost a thing; romance simply requires some thought about what you can do to please your mate more. Once you dedicate yourself to enhancing romance, you're likely to experience greater intimacy and an improved love life. Here are just a few ideas to increase the amount of romance in your life:

ROMANCE TIP #1: Write a Love Letter

Sometimes it's easier to put thoughts of romance in a letter than to speak them aloud. If that's how you feel, follow these simple tips for writing a personal, deeply felt love letter that expresses your feelings of romance and affection for the other person.

ROMANCE TIP #2: Say it with Roses

A bouquet of roses can work wonders to melt a heart or forgive a hurt. But before you pick up a stem, make sure that the color roses you select send the correct message of romance.

ROMANCE TIP #3: Plan a Romantic Getaway

Sometimes simply planning and anticipating a trip will heighten feelings of romance. Set aside time to go over your calendars, determine when you can get away, and discuss what type of setting you consider best for romance. Find current information on romance packages by clicking the link above.

ROMANCE TIP #4: Surprise Your Partner with a Small Gift

Whether it's a scented candle, a bottle of massage lotion, or some bubble bath, your gift of romance doesn't have to be expensive... just something that will please your mate. And if you want to turn up the heat even more, assemble an entire basket of romance with a variety of sensual gifts inside.

ROMANCE TIP #5: Pick Out Some Sexy Lingerie

Something scant and filmy can do wonders to enhance romance. While many women feel self-conscious or that they need a perfect figure to wear sexy lingerie, it's simply not true.

ROMANCE TIP #6: Put on Mood Music

Set the scene for seduction by playing your favorite sounds. What CDs or MP3s put you in the mood for romance?

ROMANCE TIP #7: Add Diamond Sparkle

If you can afford a diamond ring or bracelet or pendant, go for it. The sparkle in a woman's eyes when she opens such a gift is likely to yield an immediate outburst of romance.

Ideas to Bring out the Romantic in You

2010-02-24T16:01:00.000-08:00

50 Romantic Vacation Ideas
Ideas to Bring out the Romantic in You

By Susan Breslow Sardone, About.com Guide

Want to make your love life more romantic? Even the most ardent lover can use romantic inspiration. Whether you're about to go on your honeymoon, a romantic getaway, or spending time alone together at home, adding a romantic touch will help to put both of you in a vacation mood. Try some of these 50 romantic ideas and ignite your next vacation:

1 Get away from it all
2 Don't just go away on your next vacation; indulge in a romantic package with luscious extras

3 Celebrate an anniversary — any anniversary — with an anniversary trip

4 Expect the best — but get it for less

5 Request the honeymoon suite (even if you're not married)

6 Order breakfast from room service — and don't leave the room all day

7 Stock your own surprise in the minibar

8 "Hello, room service? Send up a bottle of your best Champagne, two flutes, and a strawberry delicacy"

9 Schedule a romantic dinner

10 Tell her how beautiful she is or how handsome he looks

11 Turn off the TV in your room; better yet, don't turn it on at all

12 Hand out a stack of love coupons, redeemable at any time

13 Dress for bed

14 Take a private yoga lesson together

15 Make a big deal — a really big deal — out of a birthday

16 Go window shopping for souvenirs, then circle back and buy something your better half admired

17 Pack a game for grownups

18 Plan a surprise weekend escape from the city

19 Ask the concierge to plan the day for you

20 Use the "Do Not Disturb" sign — and bring it home with you

21 Take a bubble bath together

22 Upgrade to the club floor

23 Pick up tickets to take a romantic train ride in a compartment just for two

24 Write a love letter and seal it with a love stamp

25 Give roses when there's no special occasion to celebrate

26 Take a stroll hand-in-hand along the waterfront

27 Inspired by your hotel room? Redecorate your bed at home with new sheets and pillows

28 Skip the sight-seeing and go to a theme park

29 Plant a kiss in an unexpected place

30 Make it a late night and afterwards count the stars together

31 Take your love on a romantic getaway

32 Go green and save energy: Shut off the lights and set out candles

33 Schedule a couples massage

34 Pack a picnic, and don't forget the wine

35 Enjoy a barefoot dinner on the beach

36 Go out... just for dessert

37 Give her your heart

38 Find out what long-married couples do to keep it real

39 Go parking

40 Get a checkup

41 Fly to Vegas for the weekend

42 Pack a book of classic love poems, read aloud from it before bed, and laugh your heads off

43 Bring chocolate, any time, in any form, anywhere

44 Make out in the movies or rent a DVD to get you going

45 Take better travel pictures — and frame your favorites

46 Mix a love potion

47 Sleep outdoors on the beach

48 Share a secret no one else knows

49 Propose

50 Elope

Learn more about Vegan Condoms

2010-02-24T15:32:00.000-08:00

Where Can I Buy Vegan Condoms

By Cory Silverberg, About.com Guide

Before figuring out where to buy vegan condoms, you should make sure you understand what it means when a manufacturer or retailer tells you that they sell vegan condoms. There are efforts to create meaningful definitions and systems for vegan certification but currently there are no internationally, or even federally regulated standards or definitions of what makes a product vegan. This is true for vegan condoms.

The main issue for vegans around condom manufacturing seems to be about the use of casein. Casein is a milk protein that is used in the manufacturing of latex for condoms. Vegans on the whole don’t use milk products or by-products.

There are three latex condoms on the market that don’t use casein in the manufacturing process.

RFSU is the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education, a very old sexual health organization that has a line of condoms which are vegan. The U.S. distributor for RFSU condoms announced in 2009 that they are now certified vegan by the Vegan Action Foundation in America. To find a retailer near you contact the distributor through their website.

Condomi is a large European condom manufacturer that uses cocoa powder instead of casein. Unfortunately these condoms are not currently available in the U.S. or Canada. They were for a time, but I have heard that the manufacturer is now working towards meeting U.S. requirements for sale (this is not a safety issue as I understand it).

Glyde condoms are available in the U.S. from several retailers and they are also vegan. So for now this seems to be your only option.
Another Concern for Vegans?

I also wonder about whether or not vegans need to be concerned about the lubricant in condoms. In most cases, this lubricant will contain ingredients that were, originally, tested on animals. While the condom companies will not have necessarily done this testing, I presume that some vegans would prefer to stick with non-lubricated condoms, to avoid this possibility.

12 COMMITMENTS TO RAISE YOUR LOVE VIBRATION

2010-02-21T16:08:00.000-08:00

12 COMMITMENTS TO RAISE YOUR LOVE VIBRATION

by Jafree Ozwald

www.EnlightenedBeings.com

1. I am only doing inspired actions in my life (meaning I’m only going to do that which inspires me!)

2. I always replace worry with wonder.

3. I immediately cancel & replace thoughts that arise like I...."should", "could", "would", "have to", "must", "need to" and "I've got to"…. and replace them with "I want to", "I get to", "I'd like to", "I'd love to" "I can" “I will” “I am!”.

4. I accept myself, approve and appreciate myself exactly as I am no matter what the situation or experience I’m going through.

5. I explore each experience in life (especially those I have trouble with) with a gentle, compassionate, conscious childlike curiosity.

6. I am independent of the good & bad opinions of others.

7. I remain centered & at peace with myself the world, even when others are not.

8. I think & speak only positive empowering things about others & about myself in a way they can easily feel & understand.

9. I exercise, meditate, eat healthy, and get enough sleep at least 6 days a week.

10. I create only long term fulfilling loving relationships, keeping my heart open to fully experience every person & situation that comes my way.

11. I have healthy boundaries with the demands of others and can simply & effortlessly say NO when I feel taken advantage of or dis-empowered in any way

12. I am 100% committed to these amazing life transformational commitments for the next 90 days!

Sri Yantra: A Tantric Meditation

2010-02-21T11:27:00.000-08:00

Adapted from Sacred Geometry Oracle Deck, by Francene Hart (Inner Traditions, 2001).

From the Hindu tantric tradition comes the Sri Yantra, or “great object.” Sri Karunamayi (also known as one of the enlightened Ammas) has said that one needs nothing more than to meditate on this image to become enlightened. Its nine interlocking triangles form a powerful symbol for meditation. The proportions of the largest triangle are the same as each face on the Great Pyramid at Giza in Egypt. The dimensions of that pyramid conform to the divine proportion of the Phi ratio.

Use this Sri Yantra as an ordered space within which to find the peace you require.

The rings of lotus petals and the surrounding square with four doors represent boundaries within which consciousness resides. By your intention move into the symbol and experience time as a place of stillness in the eternal now.

Breathe deeply as you focus your attention on the simplicity of each triangle, moving from the largest to the smallest at the center and then from the smallest to the largest and back into your daily life. May peace surround you.

The meditation image of Sri Yantra looks like this.

Article originally Posted in CARE2 (Annie B. Bond
Sri Yantra: A Tantric Meditation
posted by Annie B. Bond )

Chocolate Tantric Tart

2010-02-21T08:14:00.000-08:00

Chocolate Tantric Tart
a Care2 favorite by Annie B. Bond

This luscious chocolate pie is guaranteed to add some sweet heat to a romantic meal. Of its six ingredients, four of them are thought to be aphrodisiacal: Chocolate, almonds, ginger and chile. Powers of attraction aside, this recipe for Chocolate Tantric Pie is unusual and delicious, and is as easy as pie to prepare.

This is a sweet chocolate pie with the spicy bite of ginger and cayenne pepper. It’s guaranteed to satisfy your sweet tooth, internally warm your belly, and give you that unmistakable tantric glow. There is very little work to creating this dessert. For a gluten-free version, omit the pie shell for a no-bake flourless torte. You can also pour the pie mixture into a baking dish, just cool before cutting into squares and serve like fudge.

INGREDIENTS
1½ cups organic half-and-half or whipping cream
3 cups semisweet organic chocolate chips
1 cup chopped almonds
1 cup chopped candied ginger
½ teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)
9-inch pie crust

1. Over medium heat, bring half-and half or whipping cream to a simmer in a 1-quart saucepan, stirring to prevent scorching on the bottom.

2. Whisk as you slowly pour the chocolate chips into the cream and continue to stir until the chocolate has melted. Stir in half the almonds and half the ginger. Stir in cayenne if using.

3. Pour mixture into a pre-baked 9-inch pie shell. Sprinkle and remaining almonds and ginger on top. Cool until firm, slice, and serve.

Serves 8

Adapted from Esalen Cookbook, by Charlie Cascio (Gibbs Smith Publisher, 2006).

What is the Sexual ChiKong?

2010-02-19T19:32:00.000-08:00

What is the Sexual ChiKong?

by Dr. Newman K. Lin

Sexual ChiKong is a kind of the exercises on your sex organ through the breathing control synchronizing with the contraction or expansion of your abdomen. Here, I offer two kinds of Sexual ChiKong: one for men and other for women. The Sexual ChiKong for men will allow a man to control his ejaculation time or block his sexual sensitivity or response to external stimulation. The Sexual ChiKong for women is another kind of the exercises, in contraction to that for men, that can enhance her muscle around the vagina and urethra and accelerate her sexual response to the stimulation inside the vagina.

Sexual ChiKong basically works in two ways: Accelerating or Decelerating sexual orgasms, depending on how you want to contract or expand you sexual muscles with your internal force (termed as the Chi, or the force with breathing). In the old Taoism tales, it is said that you can partially numb your body part in a surgery operation by focusing your chi into it without chemicals. This is maybe true since in the old days there were no chemicals available for surgery. In particular, almost all the military persons were trained with the KongFu and ChiKong techniques. In the battle field, ChiKong itself is a part of military medicine as well as a kind of physical training for physical strength and endurance. The wound soldiers were surgically operated without numbing their body parts. Now, suppose a man uses the same ChiKong principle to his penis and prostate gland areas, he will be able to interrupt his sexual excitement or, more precisely, to numb his penis/prostate gland by the ChiKong method.

What I would like to introduce to you is how to apply the old soldier ChiKong to improving men's sexual strength and endurance. This means we can apply the "fighting skill" in the old battle field to our bedroom. No wonder that the old Taoists considered that the intercourse is a battle of life energy between the male and female. In fact, the old Taoists obtained this concept from some insects of which the male died right after intercourse. The old Taoists considered the male insects died of over-discharging their semen. Therefore, the old Taoists proposed that the three fundamental elements of the male life are Semen, Chi, and Spirit. When the male loss his semen too much or sexually exhausted himself, he can not drive (circulate) his Chi to any spot of his body as he wishes, and he can not secure his Spirit or concentrate his mind on his job. Hence, the Sexual ChiKong was developed to secure the male's semen and give his female partner the full pleasure at the same time.

The Taoism on sex benefit for men is the most abused concept in the Chinese history. In each dynasty, almost all the emperors after third generations died young, at the age of their twenties or thirties. Even that the emperors used a lot of sexually tonic herbs such as Ginseng, Deer Horn, Dog/Tiger/Deer Penis, and so on, to enrich their sexual potential and drive, every one still loss his life in the sex battle field when he had to fight with more than a thousand mistresses in his dragon bed. Why those emperors loss their life to sex? My simplest solution for this question is that they did not know how to practice Sexual ChiKong to prevent ejaculation during intercourse. Image that you have to face three female partners every night. Can you survive? That is what the Sexual ChiKong is for!

On the other hands, from time-to-time a wife may hear her husband complain that her vagina becomes too loose after giving birth of babies. She may feel her vagina become less sensitive to his penis stimulation after having kids. The old Taoist method to fix this problem is to let her contract her vagina muscle with an egg-like ball in it. In fact, this method is to teach women how to exercise her muscle, which is also known as the Kegel exercise of women's PC muscle. This Sexual ChiKong was developed for the queen to secure her sexual attraction to her emperor. This technique had been spread into brothels where prostitutes may require to have sex more than ten times a day. With this technique a prostitute can force her male partner to ejaculate in a few seconds.

Now I would like to tell you how to practice the Sexual ChiKong for men and women. Since the functions of the Sexual ChiKong for men and women are opposite each other, the methods of circulating the Chi in the body are naturally different. Hence, I present each separately, as it follows.

The Sexual ChiKong For Men

I propose a four-step approach for men as shown in the following graph:

1. Calm the mind with naturally breathing for several minutes, partially close the eyes, put the tongue against the palate, focus the mind on the forehead between the eyebrows.

2. Inhale air through the nose stepwise, expand the abdomen, as termed pumping and holding, in an interval of 2 - 5 seconds, for 8 to 20 times up to the maximum capacity of the lung, and move the mind to down to the navel.

3. Hold the breath, start to move the expanded abdomen downward by contracting the upper abdomen, as the pressure gradually builds up against the bladder and prostate gland, and move the mind to the prostate gland area.

4. Contract the anus and exhale air through the mouth slowly, while moving the mind slowly from the prostate gland area, along the spinal cord, up to the forehead.

5. Repeat 2 - 4 several times.

NOTE:

1. In Step 4, a man should experience a hot energy flow, called Chi, rising up from the prostate gland area, along the spinal cord, to the head.
2. During intercourse, Step 3 is the most important one; he should hold the breath as long as he can and apply pressure to the bladder and prostate gland area with the maximum contraction of the upper abdomen and the maximum expansion of the lower abdomen. It will knock down the sensitivity of the penis and eventually numb it as it is ready for surgery.
3. It requires practice for 2 - 10 weeks to notice its effects on the sexual performance.

The Sexual ChiKong For Women

Here I also propose a four-step approach for women as shown in the following graph:

1. Calm the mind with naturally breathing for several minutes, partially close the eyes, put the tongue against the palate, focus the mind on the navel area.

2. Exhale air slowly through the mouth with expanding the abdomen and empty the lung completely, and move the mind up to the forehead between two eyebrows.

3. Inhale air through the nose stepwise, also termed as pumping and holding, contract the upper abdomen and vagina/anus at the same time, in an interval of 2 - 5 seconds, for 5 to 15 times up to the maximum capacity of the lung, move the mind from the forehead along the spinal cord down to the vagina area.

4. Hold the maximum contraction of the vagina/anus for 10 - 100 seconds.

5. Repeat 2 - 4 several times.

NOTE:

1. In Step 3 you will feel a energy flow go downward along the spinal cord to the vagina area.

2. During intercourse, Step 4 is the most important one to bring the sensitivity of the vagina to a maximum and you will experience a hot energy flow moves upward through the chest to the forehead.

3. It requires practice for 2 - 10 weeks to notice its effects on the sexual orgasm.

Downloaded 03/12/04 from ActionLove.com

Walking Meditation

2010-02-19T19:25:00.000-08:00

Walking Meditation

by Laurel Kallenbach

"Each step we take creates a cool breeze, refreshing our body and mind. Every step makes a flower bloom under our feet." - Thich Nhat Hahn, Zen master

You don't have to live like a Zen monk or spend hours sitting silent and motionless on a cushion to benefit from meditation. In fact, if you're the type of person who's more comfortable moving or being outdoors, walking meditation might be your personal path to inner peace.

"Many people dislike traditional meditation - sitting still, trying to coax their mind to be blank," says dancer, meditation teacher and body therapist Camille Maurine, who is the co-author with her husband Lorin Roche, Ph.D., of Meditation Secrets for Women: Discovering Your Passion, Pleasure, and Inner Peace. "Meditation should never be uncomfortable. To make it work, find ways that are natural to you," she advises. Walking meditatively is just one of the many ways her book suggests for being with yourself in a profound way.

To illustrate walking meditation at its best, Maurine tells the story of a woman who attended her meditation lecture. This woman criticized herself for being unable meditate the "right" way - sitting still and rigid. Yet, when she related her passion for walking, Maurine pointed out that walking itself could be meditative. "The woman described a day in the woods when she came upon a crane poised on a rock," Maurine says. "She stopped in her tracks and was drawn into a rapturous state watching the bird. And yet, before my talk, she'd never considered that her walks actually were meditations. When you open yourself to your environment, heighten your sensory awareness, and experience deep joy and presence in the moment - that's meditation."

Many cultures have forms of walking meditation in their traditions. Typically, walking is done slowly to allow for complete awareness of motion and breath. It's the process of walking that's important, not the speed or destination. "The more slowly you go, the more detailed your awareness," says Maurine. "It's also calming. The simplest movement such as how the weight shifts through your foot is intensified." However, if it suits your mood, you may also walk briskly. "Whatever you do, observe your body and become curious and delighted by your body in motion," she recommends.

Maurine believes walking meditation is liberating, and when it's done outdoors, it connects you with nature. "As you walk, you have the freedom to turn your attention outward as well as inward," she explains. "Outward attention is when you concentrate on being part of the whole environment. You see colors and notice the movement of branches and leaves in the wind. You smell the fragrances of the earth; you feel the air on your skin."

To turn your attention inward, gaze down, just slightly ahead of your feet. Feel your breath, become conscious of your body's movement, and listen to your thoughts and emotions. Because of the nature of meditative walking, sadness, fear, anger and anxiety can flow through you and move out as you walk and breathe.

The Path of Walking

Walking meditation, Maurine points out, benefits you in a number of ways:

" Teaches you to stay centered and aware in the midst of other activities so that you're less influenced by chaos around you in other situations.
" Increases your sensory awareness, including the profound delights of the sights and sounds of the great outdoors.
" Gets you out into fresh air and sunlight.
" Helps you develop a deep meditative awareness of motion, something we often take for granted.
" Focuses your attention on rhythm, including your breath and your gait. By walking meditatively, you become aware of how your hips move, how your feet touch the ground, and how your torso and arms sway.
" Integrates exercise and your emotional state. The purpose of a walking meditation is to simply be, not to reach a destination or increase your cardiovascular capacity - although it may have that benefit. Play with the tempo of what feels good. If you feel energized, walk quickly. If you feel quiet and inward, walk slowly.
" Increases your sense of joy in knowing that walking is good for your body and spirit.

10 Steps to Walking Meditation

Before you begin a walking meditation, choose comfortable clothing and supportive shoes. If you're on a beach, go barefoot so your feet make direct contact with the Earth's electromagnetic energy. You should also choose a place you find nourishing, whether it's a park, a forest or your neighborhood block. Allow yourself at least 15 or 20 minutes to walk. However, Maurine notes, even 5 or 10 minutes can renew your spirit and energy. Then try her suggestions for your walking meditation:

1. Pause for a minute before you start, and feel yourself in the present. Use your senses to scan the world around you. Say hello to the sky; feel the ground beneath you. Notice your breath, then take several slow, deep ones to increase your awareness.

2. As you begin, start with the quality and tempo of walk that's comfortable. The pace should allow you to stay aware of surroundings and your body.

3. Feel your feet connect with the ground. Isolate the sensation in your heels, toes, ankles. Feel the motion throughout your body, not just the legs. How do your hips move? How do your arms swing? You don't have to change anything, just notice it.

4. Breathe in through the nose and out through either your nose or mouth. Pay attention to the rhythm and flow of your breath.

5. Take the time to truly appreciate the ability of your body to propel you forward.

6. Play with the tempo as you go, choosing a pace that's nurturing. Slow down and speed up as you like.
7. Shift your attention from inward to outward, alternating between following the breath and focusing on the world around you. Devise a cycle that suits you, perhaps spending a minute on each, then switching.

8. Open up your senses. Feel the air move across your skin, enjoy the quality of light. See the colors of flowers and trees; notice the shapes of rocks and buildings. What sounds are you hearing? Observe the outer world as you would a painting, with heightened awareness.

9. Give yourself the freedom to pause. It's okay to stop and touch the bark of a tree or smell an herb or flower.

10. At the end of your walk, pause, experience yourself again within your environment and listen to how you're feeling. Give yourself a moment to consciously receive the benefits of your meditation and give thanks. Appreciate that you have the gift of breath and walking. You may want to make a ritual gesture such as placing your hands in the prayer position and saying "namaste" to close your walking meditation.

Feeling the Glow

Walking meditation will balance you and help you come to equilibrium, says Maurine. If you've been lethargic, it may help perk you up. If you've suffered from frazzled nerves, the meditation may calm you.

And finally, Maurine emphasizes that you should enjoy yourself. "Everybody will find her or his own delights in walking meditation," she says. "You may be surprised at the wonders you discover each day. Perhaps it's a butterfly landing on a leaf, maybe it's the pleasure of feeling stress melt away. Just noticing tiny things can radically enrich your quality of life and awaken a sense of yourself that you carry with you forever."

Laurel Kallenbach writes about health, wellness and travel. She lives in Boulder, Colorado.

Sexual Secrets: The Alchemy of Ecstasy

2010-02-19T19:12:00.000-08:00

"Tantra, Mantra, Yantra, and the Activation of the Chakras"

from the book:
Sexual Secrets: The Alchemy of Ecstasy (New Edition)

by Nik Douglas

In India today, mention of the word Tantra inevitably leads to the related Sanskrit words mantra and yantra. Tantra-mantra, Tantra-yantra, or Tantra-mantra-yantra are, in modern Indian culture, virtually synonymous. These three very similar, related words tell of the subtle and immensely potent interconnections between ourselves and the universe we inhabit. A person who perceives and can apply the inter connectivity of Tantra, mantra, and yantra has access to tremendous personal power and unlimited spiritual potential.

The sound of our breathing and our heartbeat are our most personal mantras, as is our most intimate name. Mantras are the keys to our identity; in Tantric tradition, they are used to unlock our personal power. They are power words or phrases, loaded with energy derived from spiritual realms. When they are repeated with willful spiritual intent, they focus, empower, and transform the psyche.

A mantra is by definition a protection of mind. It can be a personal prayer or chant, used in meditation, in ritual, and in all types of magical acts, including sexual magic. All archaic spiritual traditions used them. In traditional Tantra, mantras are primordial vibrations, revealed originally as spiritual insights to a Tantric master, then passed on from one initiate to another. By repeating such mantras, following initiation, minds are protected and connected, mental processes purified, and the spirit liberated.

The Kalarnava Tantra, an important Hindu text, explains how a mantra gets its power:

The perfection of a Mantra is caused by the power of transmission, by the teacher's grace, by the natural effect of the Mantra, and by the reciter's devotion.

The first, simplest, and most potent Hindu mantra is om, which is comprised of three sounds: aah, ou, and mm, transcribed as aum. The threefold nature of aum or om reflects its triple interactions on every level, from the very subtle to the gross. From om follow all the other mantric seed-syllables, which, by their subtle and gross vibrations, manifest and define the invisible and visible universe.

The word yantra means "instrument." Our body is our sacred yantra, through which we communicate spiritually. In traditional Tantra, yantras are viewed as mystical diagrams, the tools of Tantra that define, contain, and channel what is normally considered undefinable and uncontainable.

In some traditions of Tantra, special postures, generally derived from Hatha Yoga, are used as yantras and are dedicated to specific tasks or functions. By a process of resonance with spiritual energies or divine powers, created through use of the human body as a yantra, the whole process of spiritual evolution can be sped up.

The use of mantras in conjunction with yantras enhances the whole process of spiritual evolution. This is a secret science and an occult art. It is an authentic ancient teaching derived from shamanism. For success in the use of mantra-yantra interactivity, initiation is key.

As can be seen here, oral evocations are inherently powerful and are used prolifically in Tantric practices. According to Tantric tradition, the five principle Chakras are activated by five seed-sounds (known as bija mantras). These are the sound lam in the anus or root center, vam in the sex center, ram in the navel center, yam in the heart center, and ham in the head center. In Tantric rites devised to awaken the Kundalini-shakti and guide the potent evolutionary energy through the five principal Chakras, these five seed-syllables are used. They are evoked at each of the centers.

The whole procedure of awakening and channeling the Kundalini energy is a mystical process, not a physiological one. Tantras teach different methods, some of which are closely guarded secrets. The identity, however, of the five primary Chakras and the seed-sounds used to evoke and transform the Goddess energy at each of them remains consistent. The overall picture of the relationships among the parts of the fivefold Chakra system looks like this:

Chakra Element Faculty Seed-Sound

Head Space Hearing Ham
Heart Air Touch Yam
Navel Fire Sight Ram
Sex Water Taste Vam
Anus/Root Earth Smell Lam

These five principle Chakras and their "correspondences" are of prime importance to the Tantric practitioner and to anyone earnestly desirous of practicing spiritual sex. The elemental and sensual correspondences of these five Chakras are key to taming the "wild horses" of consciousness and empowering one's spiritual evolution. These are easily accessible truths that can be applied in a straightforward manner, with just enough mysticism to make spiritual sex interesting rather than mechanical.

The fivefold correspondences aid the process of self-realization, steering the raw sexual energy through the various stages of refinement down the Tantric path. These correspondences help focus the mind, help structure and organize the normally disorganized, and by the powers of resonance, speed up the evolutionary process.

Reference:

Sexual Secrets: The Alchemy of Ecstasy (New Edition)
by Nik Douglas, Penny Slinger
With over 500,000 copies in print, this is the #1 best-selling title on the sexual mysteries of the East. Sexual Secrets was the first book to explore the Eastern path of love and mysticism, bringing together more than a thousand years of practical techniques for enhancing sexual awareness and achieving transcendental unity.
Our Price: $30.00

"Love Stones": Love, Beauty and Rose Quartz

2010-02-15T06:50:00.000-08:00

"Love Stones": Love, Beauty and Rose Quartz

Rose Quartz represents Love, beauty, peacefulness, forgiving,
lovingness, self-love, emotional balance. Soft. Gently soothes and
warms heart center. Emotional healing, loss, stress, hurt, fear, low
confidence, resentment, anger. Slowly eases childhood
traumas/neglect/lack of love, low self-esteem. Aligns mental,
emotional, and astral bodies. Deeply in tune with emotional states.

Its value as a nurturing friend cannot be overstated. A soothing
influence. Helps diffuse negative stimuli and uncomfortable memories.
Helps us discover the ability to love ourselves and makes us more
open to other people.

It is of particular value in helping us to forgive ourselves,
hastening self-acceptance. Helps us realize that all change is
important, even difficult change. Stimulates love and tender
appreciation of all things. Advantageous for the heart and
circulatory systems. Also helps the cleansing organs. The
reproductive organs may become healthier. Said to help increase
fertility. Recommended for those suffering from low self-esteem.

Andrew Pacholyk, MS, L.Ac.
http://www.peacefulmind.com/order_crystals.htm
Therapies for healing
mind, body, spirit

Love or Romance Crystal Grid

2010-02-14T11:50:00.000-08:00

Love or Romance Crystal Grid
Making a Crystal Grid

We've chosen the word "grid" to be associated with our intention for deliverance of healing and/or prayers for specific reasons. The word "grid" itself implies a strong structural foundation meant to sustain and consequently deliver (with focused and amplified intention) that which one desires or, in another words, provides a cohesive structure meant to both augment and aid in the delivery of specific energetic intentions such as healing or prayer. According to Wikipedia the definition of "grid" as it relates to Metaphysics (the arena we are dealing in along with the specific intention of spirituality) is:

"Grid (metaphysics): That which binds all of the metaverses and their contents together."
Crystal grids can sometimes be more powerful than using a single crystal for an intended goal. To build a Love grid, chose crystals that channel the loving compassionate energy into your life, such as Rose quartz, Garnet, and clear crystals.
Crystal grids are made by the placement of stones in a geometric pattern for the specific purpose of directing energy toward a goal. The stones or crystals are then charged by your intention and energy.
Crystal grids can be used to direct energy toward a desired goal.

This love grid is designed to generate love all around you! Use it for:
" Romantic Love
" Self-love, self-esteem
" Loving family environment
" Friendship

Attract love with Rose Crystals

2010-02-14T07:35:00.000-08:00

This quartz crystal is so powerful in opening the heart at so many levels that it often needs amethyst to calm things down!

Rose quartz is a stone of unconditional love. Calming and reassuring, it gives one an appreciation and love of self; it opens the door to sensitivity and strengthens empathy. It restores trust and creates inner harmony.

If you have never received love, it will open a path; if you have lost in love, it will offer comfort. If you have been damaged by an unhealthy relationship, it will strip away negativity and replace it with self-trust and self-worth.

Some of the ways rose quartz can be used to attract love:

Place a rose quartz sphere in a location where you want to draw love all around you.
Use a rose quartz wand to focus energy and intention on your soulmate. (Read more about how to use gemstone wands.)
A rose quartz stone under the pillow at night will keep you young and bring the love of your dreams to you.
Perform a love ritual using a rose quartz heart. The heart carved from rose quartz is a powerful love symbol.
Use a rose quartz egg to make love grow or bring fertility.
Wear rose quartz jewelry to attract love or to develop more self-love.

Sexy Scents: Romantic Oils For Love and Romance

2010-02-13T08:48:00.000-08:00

Sexy Scents: Romantic Oils For Love and Romance

Try something new and different with your lover. Combine the art of
massage with the magic of aromatic massage oils. This sensual mix
stirs the senses and can send sparks flying between sweethearts. Also
try diffusing any one of these oils in the air to spark the senses

First and foremost, it's important to remember that some smells send
certain noses into ecstasy and others into furious twitches. Check in
with your partner to find out which scents allure, and which sends
their nostrils flaring.

Some sexy essential oil are:

Jasmine: is a bold, sweet scent. Jasmine is the greatest aphrodisiac
of all. These night blooming flowers are picked at their hieght to
bring out one of the most sexy scents. Associated throughout history
with the compassionate Goddess of the Moon, Jasmine, grown along the
Nile in ancient Egypt, is represented Isis, the Egyptian Mother
Goddess who held the secrets of fertility, magic and healing.

Patchouli: is a sweet, earthy scent. Its smell is intense and spicy.
From an energetic point of view, Patchouli, like Jasmine, is warm and
yet anti-inflammatory in action. It combines a calmative property
with a gentle stimulating effect that uplifts the spirit! Patchouli
is a sweet and grounding harmonizing fragrance!

Neroli: is distilled from bitter orange trees. It has a refreshing,
spicy aroma and is known for its sensual, exotic effect. Neroil oil
is emotionally unifying and soothes with harmonizing effects.
Described as both sensual and spiritual, Neroli helps to restablish
the link between a disconnected mind and body. Neroli paves the way
for a gradual release and allows us to recall hope and joy!

Ylang Ylang: is a rich fragrant oil that means "flowers of flowers".
A scent to perfume the body or use for an euphoric massage. Ylang
Ylang is relaxing, sexualizing and euphoric. The ecstatic sense of
merging is inherent in Ylang Ylang. Like Jasmine, this oil helps to
reunite our emotional and sensual natures, aspects of our being that
need to contain each other and unite.

Rose: The Mother of All Flowers, the Rose has amazing powers of love,
trust and self acceptance. Roses are representative of faith, hope
and love and has the qualities to restore the very center of one's
being. A gentle tonic of the heart, the compassion of the Rose is
seen through it's ability to heal emotional wounds. When loss,
rejection or sorrow has injured our capacity for nurturing and self
love, Rose oil brings a sweet and gentle comfort, binding the "heart
strings" from the Heart to the Mind. Rose oil's psychological
properties lie mainly in its effect on the mind, the center of our
emotional being. Rose oil calms and supports the heart and helps to
nourish the soul!

Choosing a scent is half the fun. Use these oils to perk up any room
with natural fragrance. Use them in the bath water for a sexy and
romantic experience. Diffuse them in the air in the bedroom. Massage
one or two oils into your pulse points at the wrists, neck and tops
of the feet. Burn these oils in the form of incense. There are lots
of creative ways to work with essential oils!

Andrew Pacholyk, MS, L.Ac
http://www.peacefulmind.com/oils.htm
Therapies for healing
mind, body, spirit

"Love Stones": Sexual Energies and Carnelian

2010-02-12T18:09:00.000-08:00

"Love Stones": Sexual Energies and Carnelian

Properties: Sexual relations can be the most intimate and satisfying

communication two people experience. Yet sex is difficult for people

to talk about, let alone improve, when problems occur. We are all

sexual beings. It is important to acknowledge and always celebrate

this fact. We are sexual beings so it's natural that we are sexually

attracted to others.

This stone represents confidence, boldness, initiative, dramatic

abilities, assertiveness and outgoingness. Precision, analysis,

stimulates appetite, encourages celebration and brings awareness of

feelings. It is the stone of passion and sexuality and is associated

with the Sacral/Spleen Chakra. This stone helps you feel anchored and

comfortable with your surroundings. Provides a connection to the past

or to historical events. Carnelian can improve motivation. Helps one

achieve greater success in career or personal matters. Helps ground

people who meditate. Carnelian is one of the most helpful crystals

for healing trauma, stress and emotional wounds that have accumulated

in the etheric body or the Aura and are now manifesting as physical

symptoms.

Folk Remedies: This stone is one of the best for fertility issues.

Carnelian is believed to warm, cleanses and purify the blood of the

liver and kidneys, stimulate appetite, emotions, passion, sexuality,

physical energy, reproductive system, menstrual cramps, arthritis,

gall bladder, pancreas. Historically also used to pull excess fever

out through the feet. Carnelian is said to strongly influence the

reproductive organs hence its connection to the 2nd Chakra and is

excellent for lower back trouble.

Feng Shui: Carnelian is used in the Center area for harmony and

balance, in the South area for success, in the West area for

creativity and in the Southeast area for self worth.

Crystal Cleansing: This stone should be cleansed under luke warm

water once a month. Carnelian should be charged in the sun for 24

hours. Crystals react and energize by the light of the moon. The

fuller the moon the more energized your crystal becomes. I would

recommend your cleansing to be on or near the full moon so that the

light can absorb into your crystal.

History: Carnelian is a form of Chalcedony (jasper) quartz, (SiO2).

This stone does not have the typical lattice, usually found in

quartz, but is formed from the dissolving of other minerals

containing silicates. These closely packed fibers form in concentric

circles or parallel bands. Carnelian comes in a variety of colors

ranging from red to orange and, in some cases, even dark brown.

Carnelian is one of the oldest stones used in jewelry dating back to

3000 BCE and was found in Egyptian tombs. Gem quality carnelian is

called "Sard", which refers to the ancient Greek and Roman

word "sardius". Carnelian is one of the stones found in the

breastplate of Aaron.

Andrew Pacholyk, MS. L.Ac

http://www.peaceful mind.com/ sex.htm

Therapies for healing

mind, body, spirit

"Love Stones": Heart Healing and Rhodochrosite

2010-02-12T18:05:00.000-08:00

"Love Stones": Heart Healing and Rhodochrosite

Properties: Gentle and yet probably the most vibrant loving stone to
heal the Heart Chakra, especially for giving/receiving love.
Rhodochrosite is the "Stone of Love and Balance". Also for
loneliness, loss, heartache, fear, insecurities, inner-child issues,
abuse and incest. Helps self-forgiveness, deservingness and trust
issues, spiritual and self-love, desire to live and purpose. Best
worn 24 hrs. a day. Most effective for opening the hand healing
Chakra. It is used in times of transition by providing comfort and
support. Helps you alleviate irrational fears and paranoia. Will
enhance the dream state.

Folk Remedies: This crystal is recommended for the Solar plexus,
stomach (anxiety and emotional issues), food addictions, anorexia,
asthma, eyesight (especially emotional not-seeing, to avoid pain) and
thymus. Specifically used to detox/heal blood, liver, cancer. Works
in the bathtub to de-stress the body. A very beneficial stone for
those with asthma or other respiratory illnesses. Helps you filter
out the irritants that trigger respiratory difficulty. Also purifies
the circulatory system and the cleansing organs, especially the
kidneys. Suggested to be used in conjunction with Malachite or
Copper. Rhodochrosite is used for clearing and balancing.

Feng Shui: Rhodochrosite is used in the Southwest direction for love,
relationships and partners and any area where there needs to be a
shift or transition.

History: Electromagnetic, Rhodochrosite (MnCO3) is a fairly recent
discovery in the mineral kingdom it was discovered in Argentina just
before World War II. Also found in rare shades of orange and pink.
Has stripes of various width in shades of white. Most come from the
US or USSR. Because remnants of this stone were also discovered
during the time of the Incas, it is sometimes called "Inca Rose".
Today, rhodochrosite is used as an industrial mineral in the
production of alloy steel and for floor and wall tiles.

Andrew Pacholyk, MS. L.Ac
http://www.peacefulmind.com/jewelry.htm
Therapies for healing
mind, body, spirit

"Love Stones": Intimacy and Garnet

2010-02-12T17:59:00.000-08:00

"Love Stones": Intimacy and Garnet

Intimacy is feeling close and connected to someone (developed through
sharing and very good communications over time). Intimacy is what
makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to
each other. Intimacy implies the desire to strengthen our moral
character in a relationship. It allows us to find and keep, as well
as show our best side to others.

This stone symbolizes faith, love, devotion and trust. Garnet is most
famous for balancing our emotional states. Therefore, garnet is one
of the best stones for soothing emotional stress and balancing out
anger that is held in and not expressed. Therefore, garnet is good
for those who have anger issues directed to themselves, NOT for those
who spew anger like venom or attack others with their anger (think
orange or yellow stones for this condition)!

Garnet is a stone of passion. It is given as a gift of love's
attraction, a gift of estranged love or a gift of quick return. Red
represent love and helps the aspirant to strive for improvement in
moral conduct. When Garnet is used in conjunction with the pituitary
gland, can help provide past-life information. Should be placed on
the center of the forehead. If carried around in the pocket and then
placed on the forehead of another person, closer ties will form with
that individual. Garnet is a stone of commitment.

Garnet has been used for protection against the perils of travel. It
encourages a strength and therefore, personal power, which increases
success, a victorious attitude and sparks the energies of creativity
through our kundalini starting at the base of the Root Chakra.
Garnet's emotional connection makes it most effective when placed at
the 2nd or Sacral/Spleen Chakra. Known to balance out sexual energy
by both increasing libido or decreasing sexual addiction. Garnet is
known in Indian mythology for persistence, stamina and energizing the
Kundalini fire (our fire of eternal metamorphosis).

Garnet is a good stone to have around for emotional drama, traumatic
crisis or when you feel backed into a corner with no way out. Garnet
will show you the way out. It is the perfect stone for clearing the
Emotional Layer of the Aura. Utilize its strong support energy.
Anyone dealing with depression, should always carry a piece of garnet
with them as it encourages feelings of joy, hope and will power. Its
fiery color drives away fatigue and stimulates the imagination.

Folk Remedies: Emotional states are connected to the water element,
which are connected to the cycles of the moon and tides and
therefore, has a strong relationship to a women's menstrual cycle.
Therefore, garnet works well with blood issues. It was believed to be
helpful with problems of poor blood circulation and strengthens the
heart both in a physical manner and metaphysical approach. Garnet
warms and energizes physically (and emotionally) when treating
arthritis, frostbite, paralysis and is a good grounding stone. It is
a remedy stone for exhaustion, low blood pressure, detoxing and
strengthening blood, muscles, kidneys, gallstones. Stimulates life
force and sexuality, hormone balance, antibodies, fertility, and
brings vitality during the catabolic process. Hidegard Von Bingen
prescribed garnet to strengthen the heart. Avoid if excess anger,
impatience, high blood pressure, heat, or inflammation. Used for the
assimilation of vitamins and minerals.

Feng Shui: Garnet should be used in the Northwest corner for travel
or in the Center area for grounding, balance, good health,
spirituality and protection, in the North for personal journeys,
victory and success, and in the Southwest for partnership (always use
two stones here).

Crystal Cleansing: This stone can be cleansed and discharged of
negative energy every month (after the menstrual cycle is complete
for women) or at the full or new moon. Cleanse this stone by running
it under warm water and charging it over night on a crystal cluster,
preferably quartz, in a bowl of tumbled hematite or most beneficial
is allowing it to be cleansed by the light of the full moon for 24-48
hours. Garnet can be charged beautifully in the sun for a day.

History: Garnet, K (SiO4)3 + another metal, this stone ranges in
color from deep emerald green through yellow, brown, and red
(interestingly enough, never blue). They each have a different name
according to color. (See below). Common to the US, but found all over
the world. Garnet comes from the latin word "granum" meaning grain or
seed-like. This name was derived from the tiny little seed like
stones resembling pomegranate seeds, often made into jewelry. Dating
as far back as the 3100 B.C.E. in Egypt where garnet was crafted into
beautiful jewelry and beads for clothing, crowns and dinnerware. In
the bible, garnet is mentioned as one of the 12 stones in the
Breastplate of Aaron. It was believed to be used by Noah, crafted
into a lantern, which lead the ark through long, dark nights. The
ancient Greeks used garnet in its red form and the Persians
considered it the "royal stone" carving the faces of their kings in
the stone. Garnet was considered a traveler's stone, warning anyone
who carried the stone of danger unseen.

Andrew Pacholyk, MS, L.Ac
http://www.peacefulmind.com/order_crystals.htm
Therapies for healing
mind, body, spirit

"Love Stones": Love, Empowerment and Kunzite

2010-02-10T06:39:00.000-08:00

"Love Stones": Love, Empowerment and Kunzite

Properties: Kunzite is a powerful, high level stone. It is used
against negative energy and empowers positive and loving thoughts.
Most effective on the Heart Chakra , it opens the emotional heart and
spiritual heart. It represents unconditional lovingness and
compassion. Used for healing abuse/loss/addictions. Helps emotional
balance, confidence, connection to higher self and oneness. Kunzite
is also used on the Brow and Crown Chakra for the reason that it
deepens altered states: psychic readings, healing...being centered
emotionally and spiritually. Strengthens healers and teachers.

Folk Remedies: This crystal is recommended for reducing depression,
mood swings, stress, radiation. Used extensively by the medical
profession for psychiatric disorders. Good for the circulatory system
and the lungs. A soothing stone that can help you adjust to the
pressures of modern life.

Feng Shui: Kunzite is used in the North for personal growth and
journeys and in the Northeast direction for self-cultivation and for
removing obstacles.

History: A member of the Spodumene family with lithium. Pink, clear
in color (the green version is called Hiddenite). Kunzite (LiAlSi2O6)
gets its color from manganese. Kunzite has been dubbed the evening
stone due to the fact that it fades in bright sunlight. In addition
to being pleochroic, it is sometimes phosphorescent.

Andrew Pacholyk, MS, L.Ac
http://www.peacefulmind.com/love.htm
Therapies for healing
mind, body, spirit

From OMG!!! to OM... The Dear Abby of Tantra

2010-02-09T11:04:00.000-08:00

OMG!!!
I find it most comfortable and stimulating to have sex with my husband entering me from behind but I worry that this makes tantra quite hard as eye contact is very important.

Now I've had trouble with sex in the past years and only now can enjoy full penetration.

Is there another position you can recommend that may make eye contact a little easier but still bring me comfort and enjoyment?

I find that when I am penetrated from the front its more painful for some reason and less pleasurable at times.

Do you think that says something about my mentality about sex and intimacy?

(name withheld)

OM...
If you enjoy it from the back position, relax, and enjoy it. Eye contact becomes irrelevant in tantra after awhile. This is because eye contact is not so much to look at the other, but to look deep within yourself while your eyes are looking out at your partner.

In your favorite position, you can both get into a deep meditation. It may not be easy to do at first. Try to "see" your husband through your mind's eye.

I would not worry about what you should do or not do, because that takes you out of the present. Enjoy what makes you feel good with full abandon. That is more what tantra really is, not "rules"...

And I have to agree with you, it is a good position that takes you to other places, if you allow it. Another one is the x position where you both lie on your back facing each other. You have to have good control over the yoni because both of you will be still. Only the yoni will be contracting and working the lingam. It is a position that is relaxing yet satisfying, the movements are within, you can look out and look in.

Tantra and The Opening of the Inner Flute

2010-02-06T12:15:00.000-08:00

According with Shavana Fineberg, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Certified Tantric Educator, a Tantric meditation can be a practice for anyone, whether partnered or single, which will heighten your awareness of the energy in your body and your ability to move it through your system at will, and open what Margot Anand, internationally acclaimed authority on Tantra, calls "The Inner Flute,": balancing your energy centers or chakras.

Here is the suggested meditation:

Settle into a slow, deep pattern of breathing.

Inhale while squeezing your PC muscle. Imagine that you are pulling energy up from the Earth into your first (base) chakra as you visualize it bathed in red.

Exhale and allow the energy to flow back down into the Earth, and repeat five times.

Repeat, bringing the energy into your second chakra, with the color orange.

Repeat into the third chakra, with the color yellow.

The Fourth (heart) chakra, and green.

The Fifth chakra, visualizing blue.

The Sixth chakra, and indigo.

The Seventh (crown) chakra, and violet.

Repeat one last time, pulling the energy all the way up through and out the crown chakra, allowing it to flow down and around your body.

Tantra: the Transformation of Desire

2010-02-06T12:02:00.000-08:00

"At the time of the Union of the male and female, all the worlds are in love and happiness"
~ Zohar

The word Tantra is Sanskrit and comes from the root word tan - to extend, expand, spread, continue, put forth or manifest. According to the Tantric teachings of Buddhism, every human being has the potential to achieve profound and lasting happiness; and this remarkable transformation can be realized very quickly if we utilize all aspects of our human energy, especially the energy of our desires.

What Tantra teaches us is a way of breaking free from all the conditioning that limits our understanding of who we are and what we can become. It is a way of expanding the power of the life-force within us from the compartment called sexuality to its rightful place as the creative energy of the universe.

All this conflict will dissolve as we train in the tantric point of view and recognize that each man is a complete man and each woman a complete woman. Furthermore, every man and woman contains both male and female energy. In fact, each one of us is a union of all universal energy. Everything that we need in order to be complete is within us right at this very moment. It is simply a matter of being able to recognize it. This is the Tantric approach.

The Tantric Attitudes

The following are the fundamental Tantric Attitudes

Learn Self-Love. Listen to your heart and trust your intuition. Know that ecstasy is your birthright.

Drop Guilt. Celebrate sexuality as a sacred life-giving force intended to nourish and vitalize you.

Enjoy Spontaneity. Prepare well. Then let go of techniques and explore freely what draws you.

Cultivate Pleasure. Learn to receive pleasure freely, totally and unconditionally.

Discover Meditation. Quiet the mind and listen. Bring your awareness to your body and its sensations.

Give up Goal Orientation. Allow yourself to be swept up in each moment for it's own sake.

Allow Surrender. In the true spirit of the word, allow yourself to melt (render) into that which is higher than yourself.

Meditation for Releasing Old Vows to Open to New Relationships

2010-02-06T11:48:00.000-08:00

"Love is an endless mystery for it has nothing else to explain it."
~ Rabindranath Tagore

Find a restful place and sit down in a comfortable position.
Clear your mind of all the intrusive thoughts.
Breathe deeply, release all the tension that may have accumulated in your body and mind.
Close your eyes, sit or lie with back straight, and imagine roots reaching down from your feet into mother earth.
Ask your guardian angel to support you, and breathe away any tensions in your body.
Surround yourself with pink light, think yourself back to the place where you made the original vow, be aware of anyone taking the vow with you, and of the person conducting the ceremony. Use your faculty of imagination to help you reach this multi-dimensional place.
Look at the congregation, who are supporting your vow, try to keep your mind's eye attentive to their energy vibration. If you have had many past lives where you took vows, there may be hundreds or thousands of people from other lives still holding your vow in place with their energy.
Hand over any ring or symbol of a vow back to the person who gave it to you, and with a humble and grateful attitude, thank the person for all the learning experiences they allowed you to have and forgive any residual energy not worked during the period you both held this vow.
Clearly tell the person who conducted the ceremony and to everyone who you were bound to and the congregation, that you are now releasing yourself from the vow and all its commitments and consequences; and that you are also releasing the other person to embrace a new path. Allow them to clap and applaud the decision.
Feel the lightness that comes from the freedom of letting go.
Light a candle in your mind to symbolize your freedom, and when possible, declare to yourself a blessing for this moment of personal freedom and release.
Thank the angels who have continued to support your vow and with gratitude, release them.
Walk out of the place where you are into the sunshine, have a party or do something to celebrate your new life, and open your eyes. You are now free.

Note: If you feel agitated after this meditation, try to relax with a warmth bath and add a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in the bath water. Also, make a point to do some grounding techniques.

Love Empowerment with Crystals

2010-02-06T11:35:00.000-08:00

* Amethyst - calming and cleansing; growth spurts; disappointments; bad dreams

* Apache tears - grief stone; hold up to light and see through it; absorbs negative emotions (then it will cloud)

* Aventurine - relieves shyness; opens lungs; opens heart

* Carnelian - self-esteem; skin ailments (hold over skin and move it in circles)

* Clear quartz - all purpose healing; burns off negative emotions; crystal clusters are good in bedrooms; amplifies inner light

* Rose quartz - hurt feelings; soothes negative emotions; calms hyperactivity; self-love

* Lapis lazuli - balances psychic gifts; encourages one to be open to spiritual insight; protection

* Jade - calms overwhelming feelings; achieve goals;

* Tiger Eye - grounding; protection; pulls dreamers back into their bodies; puts thoughts into action; practical (good while shopping; not so materialistic)

* Pyrite - protective stone; reflects negative energy; physical empowerment; abundant love; relieves fear and terror

From OMG!!! to OM... Ask the Tantra Master

2010-02-06T09:16:00.000-08:00

OMG!!!
I have never been able to recreate a full body orgasm during meditation, although I hear this is possible. I had an experience of a full body orgasm during meditation once but I saw some “violence” and wondered if I was being “punished” for wanting the experience of an orgasm.

OM...
You are trying to re-create a full body orgasm, but it has to happen on its own. You cannot be the doer while you are in union with a partner or practicing meditation on your own. Surrender is the key.

Kundalini experience can be horrific if there has been no prior preparation. As you know, it can be wonderful, but it is no frivolous event.

The scriptures say there are 27 ways to receive shaktipat (and thus awaken Kundalini) depending on one’s disposition, so it can be either pleasurable or horrifying. As the unfolding of the central channel takes place, there is a real danger of irritating Kundalini. If the nadis (there are 72,000 currents of energy that start at the chakra centers) are blocked, the energy has no where to go and diseases and adverse emotions are real possibilities. To avoid this you must have total control of the mind and the breath and do practices to control the senses.

I have not heard of anyone dying from kundalini crisis, but then the dead are not around to tell us, are they! Seriously though, love is the ultimate achievement from kundalini awakening so when fear is present, it will interfere with the process. Fear stops love, love stops fear.

I would not dwell on the past, wondering if you screwed up an opportunity, or hoping for a repeat performance. It won’t happen, but everything you experience is just what you needed. The past cannot be a re-created moment. You have to live fully in the present and have no expectations while having full faith. That is the best outcome.

You have to trust and surrender. The ego mind left brain wants you to question, have fear and doubt. But Maa Kundalini wants the best for you, she loves you. And like any loving mother, she wants to give you everything, but has to be sure that you are prepared and responsible enough to receive all that she has to give before she goes gives you more. She can only give you what you are capable of receiving. The aspirant must have the attitude of the vira, the warrior.

The “violence” you saw was not punishment. In the spiritual world there is no duality of good and bad. It is more likely showing you something about yourself that you have to clear before moving on.

Continue to purify your senses through meditation and breath. With closed eyes focus on the area between the eyebrows, keep the tongue in khechari mudra (at the roof of the mouth), be aware of the natural sound of breath. Breathe in “So” slowly, bringing the breath in through the nose to the base of the spine. Lock the anal sphincter muscle. Release, exhale “Hum” and bring the breath back up the spine.

This is a good practice to do a minimum of 5 minutes a day. You can also purify with mantras, yantras, yoga exercises such as Rishis, Tibetan Five Rites, Sun Salutations.

Crystals for Love

2010-02-06T07:11:00.000-08:00

Crystals for Love

* Amethyst – a master healer; purifies and transmutes negative energy and improper karmic patterns into a spirit of cooperation. Balance during major transitions. Opens the Heart and Crown chakras. Heals losses.

* Aquamarine – Strengthens one’s resolve to take command and live your life’s purpose. Protects your emotions. Dispels fear.

* Carnelian – The self-esteem stone; Good for recovery after rejection. Transmutes sadness. Encourages enthusiasm. Boosts sexuality.

* Emerald – Prosperity stone. Softens arrogance and promotes organizational abilities. Cools the heart and promotes divine love and peace.

* Gold – a master healer; symbolizes the purity of spirit. Activates one’s higher potential. Promotes inner beauty and energy. Eliminates feelings of inferiority, depression and anger.

* Jade – Fidelity stone; Keeps the peace in community and relations. Improves self-worth. Excellent for recovery after an unpleasant experience.

* Hematite – Emotional support and stress stone; protects the heart against wounding. Reflects back negative energy. Reduces stress. Grounds love energy. Good for blood circulation and helps reduce leg and back pain.

* Pink Kunzite – Open the emotional heart. Relieves emotional distress. Provides peace and stimulates sensuality. Dispels loneliness.

* Malachite – clears the heart of negative experiences by unblocking and absorbing the energies. Helps dispel fear and break free of old love patterns.

* Rose Quartz- Builds confidence through self-love. Excellent for abandoned, victimized types. Softens hard hearts. Brings beauty to all things. Promotes harmonious relationships.

* Ruby – purifies love. Promotes the focus, selection and attainment of love objectives (health, happiness, wealth). Encourages bliss and enhances the dream state. Protects from unnecessary suffering in love.

Feng Shui Love: Is Clutter Getting In The Way Of Your Sex Life?

2010-02-05T17:17:00.000-08:00

Feng Shui Love: Is Clutter Getting In The Way Of Your Sex Life?

Jennifer Parks, From Edmonton Journal
Is your love life a little lacklustre?

There's a definite link between your sex life and your dirty laundry, says a clutter-busting expert.

"An unclear mind and space aren't conducive to good, yummy, relaxed sex," says Janet Mayfield, a feng shui consultant and former Edmontonian.

Feng shui is the ancient Chinese system of rearranging your environment to bring balance into your life.

Take a mental inventory of their bedroom space. How do they feel in it? Is it full of good memories or bad? Have you had more arguments than sex in there? Does the room feel private? Is the bed comfortable? Does the bed have a history before your current partner?

"Opening the windows, washing the bedding and burning a candle or incense will start to make a difference," says Mayfield. "If it feels really awful, empty the room entirely, wash it from top to bottom, and as you put it back together, play some favourite music, laugh, clap, sing or shake bells. It will help to break up any old remaining chi -- energy."

Other tips: Take out pictures of the children and family. Fill it with happy pictures of you and your spouse. Clear up any sign of work. The colours pink, coral and peach are very conducive to romance, so use these colours if you like them.

If you've ever secretly worn red panties under your clothes just to feel sexy, then you can attest to the power of colour to affect your mood.

When it comes to cleaning house, Edmonton marriage counsellor Gary Meiers is no clutter-busting guru, but he says a good sweep under the proverbial carpets can do wonders for your sex life.

Over time, unskilled communication can lead to resentment and kill intimacy, he says.
ot buying into the whole "change your decor, change your life" philosophy?

Then consider this timeless aphorism from an ancient Indian text, The Upanishads:

* Watch your thoughts; they become words.
* Watch your words; they become actions.
* Watch your actions; they become habits.
* Watch your habits; they become your character.
* Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

It doesn't take a feng shui leap to see that our inner and outer worlds are intrinsically connected. So, this spring, why not do an internal sweep? Take out the trash in your love life and transform your relationship. After all, no amount of clutter is worth a sexless destiny.

Old Agreements and Karmic Vows

2010-02-03T19:44:00.000-08:00

For many of us, the main question remains: why can't we have a decent relationship in the present or why the past relationships did not work, despite of all the effort, energy and love we placed in them?

In traveling life, sometimes we meet someone when we are still working on discovering who we are and what our purpose in life is. Sometimes we may draw towards ourselves someone that still has a lot to learn and to discover.

The answer may be that before taking embodiment, our Souls may have made contracts and agreements whose baseline is service. Many of these soul contracts were established to hold a place on others emotional lives until they reached a level of strength, ability, skill and self-reliance. Many times we attract people into our lives to serve a role model, an example what they could be, if they chose to be more aware of their own potentialities.

A previous past life vow made under intense emotions can also carry over into sequential past lives, the present, and future lives with no boundary on its timing. The same outcome can repeat itself through this thread of successive lives.

We can bring up, between many other vows of that nature, the particular case of an "everlasting love" vows done in past lives. This serves as an example to show how patterns in the form of destiny are carried over into our present lifetime. This example is about a "love destiny" brought from a past life love vow. Its chance aspect restricts finding love anywhere but exclusively with the avowed lover.

Someone may have lived a past life where they fell deeply in love with someone else and the love was reciprocally intense. Those ones may have done a vow for their love lasting forever excluding themselves from discovering love in another connection. This would sound like something wonderful if it did not create a potential problem arising out of the same vow; the binding of their souls limited to each other as loving couple for every following lifetime, without an expiration date.

That means that in each others future life, when they are in relationships that are not with the avowed "true loving partner", the relationship seems lacking, as if something dearly wanted is missing. This is the way love destiny brought by everlasting love vows can manifest itself.
This situation will be carried on until a time when the vow is broken and the person can move on to a new complete loving relationship. This explanation from past lives may be the reason for the difficulty in finding love in the present.

In all relationships there are always two sides, and it is also your partner's choice to make the relationship progress or not. We may hold a place in their lives being a living example, but the success of any connection is based on an agreement of similar vibration, in order to manifest and be a co-creator of realities. It is important to keep in mind that in certain moments of our lives, we will tend to attract exactly who we are supposed to in that specific moment.

Something that the seeker has to keep in mind is the power of old commitments, vows and soul contracts. In past lives, you may have made vows which you are still locked into and these will affect your life, restraining your present relationships from flowing and prospering.

Vows are often made with ritual or ceremony, in front of witnesses; this is what sets them so strongly in your consciousness, so that they get imprinted on your unconscious mind as memory cells or Sankara (see Note). Many times during these ceremonies, individuals call in the angels to help them to keep their vows. Consequently, through many lifetimes, an angel has been assigned to oversee every vow you made.

If you are still being influenced by past marriage vows, it will be helpful to release them. A marriage is a ceremony and sometimes a divorce does not release the energy of the original contract and the energy may still remain. One should strive to release old vows and live in the present moment.

Note: Sankara is a part of the Law of Karma and is the residual life memories of very intense or traumatic experiences from past existences. These can manifest into our lives through a succession of similar events or circumstances. Sankara is also another name for memory cells.

Working with Internal and External Karma

2010-02-03T19:38:00.001-08:00

"Everything comes to us that belong to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
~Rabindranath Tagore

The philosophical explanation of Karma can differ slightly between traditions, but the general concept is basically the same. Through the Law of Karma, the effects of all deeds actively create past, present, and future experiences; thus making one responsible for one's own life, and the pain and joy it brings to oneself and others. Karma is the expression of the Cosmic Law of Retribution and it can be manifested in various forms; internally and externally, through both pleasurable experiences and disagreeable ones.

The content that comprises Internal Karma refers to the realms of the personality. Therefore, the Internal Karma is the main factor that helps the process of self-expression and enlightenment of the true Self.

When we analyze the External Karma, we face it from a different perspective. It may be good or bad; but it cannot be consider positive or negative, because the real value of Self finds no balance or reference from it. This may be the result of diverse interactions though assorted contacts and situations through our lives, but they never determine the qualities, gifts or development of the Soul which is experiencing them.

A heavy Karma can be expressed as an opportunity of spiritual progress and transcendence, as a light and pleasurable Karma can be presented as a challenge for the human character, values and ethics; as an example, we can see how one behaves in the case of becoming an instant celebrity, or being wealthy.

External Karma cannot be described as either negative or positive; because what determines the dimension of the experience is the response we have in the face the challenges of those specific situations. In other words, the way we react to outside challenges.

Only through the profound analysis of Internal Karma can the seeker truly dimension the amount of internal work they need to undertake in order to develop the path of balancing and releasing their personal Karma. The external aspect of Karma determines under what circumstances the work on releasing must be developed during this incarnation's time. The awareness of this state expresses the first position on the Path of Consciousness.

In order to manifest this work, the seeker must analyze carefully the essence of his External Karma in retrospect. With special meditations, the consciousness tends to expand and, at the same time, allows in a near future the realization of the scope of responsibilities and acceptance of the Life Path; therefore, the recognition of Karma and the consequential correct release.
When applying these concepts to the analysis of our relationships, one must recognize the range of reactions and how they directly interfere in all the personal relationships, especially the romantic ones.

Here are some suggested meditation topics:

1. Remembrance of facts and situations of one's live in different periods of time: the challenges, conditions, alternatives and the more important episodes.

2. The determination of the Character in each event or fact: if they were agreeable or disagreeable, or if they have a positive or a negative effect on your life.

3. Try to remember your reaction on each one of those past events or situations and try to determined if those reactions, attitudes and choices were Karmically correct or incorrect and why.

4. Try to determine what extent the external conditions or events from your past associated with your individual reaction to them and influenced the conditions of your internal life.

The duration of these guided meditations will depend on the extension and the broad scope of the experiences and, as also related, directly to the intensity of the experience.

The understanding of the External Karma allows the Seeker to realize a basic task, which is to affirm oneself as a conscious individual, relying on the Internal Observer to guide one through correct reactions and aligning one's will with a higher purpose.

This correct understanding of the different Karmic states affirms the individual onto a higher path, giving them strength to resist "regressive temptations", especially ones that come with the brilliance of good moments and happy resting times. Spiritual practice is nothing else than a practice, it is internal work, and it never really ceases per se. This posture will equip the Seeker with gifts of fortitude and spiritual assertiveness during times of trial when the "disagreeable Karma" manifests in the Seeker's life.

These are some of the many reasons internal spiritual work has to be developed in a continuum with an awaken mind and a sensitive consciousness.

Karmic Relationships

2010-02-03T19:32:00.000-08:00

"True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
~ Jason Jordan

The suggestion of Karma in a relationship is not a pleasurable thought, no matter how it is manifesting in one's life. There are feelings of déjà vu and an underlying knowledge of what makes the other person tick. Powerful relationships, whether good or bad, almost certainly have a Karmic underlay to them.

All the different types of relationships give us the opportunity for personal development. They can put forward obstacles and rewards, highs and lows. When we experience the Karma involved in a relationship, we tend to find ourselves feeling without control over the circumstances and events, and at a loss of how to act and react to those situations. It is our belief, that while all Soulmate connections are Karmic, not all Karmic relationships involve Soulmates.

In a Karmic relationship, the lessons that we have to learn from each other can be as varied as life itself. One may be certain however, that the lesson will be deep, personal and will demand inner strength.

Sometimes you can catch yourself acting against your personal code of conduct, but what is really happening is that you are setting in motion and correcting some qualities and actions of a past life related to a "personality" that you are no longer consciously familiar with. Therefore, those qualities must be Karmically redeveloped and expanded in order to connect the "two lessons" simultaneously in this present life time.

Generally, people will make their judgment about a relationship based upon the Karma it brings. This can cause people to avoid potential relationship, particularly intimate ones, because of a perception that the relationship will be "high maintenance". Karmic relationships are difficult and challenging, which means that a lot of discussion is required, along with a clearing out of misunderstandings, dependencies, compulsions, and choices. This is a real manifestation as part of the consequences of having a more "mindful" relationship.

As a general rule, the Karmic model is only completely understood with clarity, AFTER the lesson is learned. Karmic relationships are valuable gifts that can facilitate us on our spiritual journey. This can only occur however, if we're ready to let go of the Ego structures that we may find useful as one-lifetime-only plan. When we can apprehend our entire spiritual existence into account, remembering our Divinity and our multi-dimensional nature, we are able to perceive and act from that perspective; only then, major learning experiences can take place in our lives.
In life, Karmic situations usually manifest itself through a succession of similar situations that become evident through the passing of years. When we establish a Karmic relationship, it is because unconsciously we see in the other person something that can effectively help us to solve some of our own limitations and Karma. In other words, we always attract what we need, and in the right moment in life when we are able to understand.

"When the student is ready, the master will appear."

This old saying exemplifies the characteristics and the reasoning behind the way Karmic relationships manifest in our ordinary lives.

This does not mean that all Karmic love relationships have to be demanding or complicated. As we choose to be more mindful, we can transform negative patterns by choosing more conscious and loving behaviors. Together, we can convert Karma into Dharma though the alchemy of our desires into our Intentions.

We are not always able to resolve all our Karmic lessons, because some of these original "revelations" need time to be understood internally. Most of us are still in the beginning stage of collecting information and inside of the process of formation and translation. It can take years to find the totality of understanding of what actually transpired within the context of our Karmic interactions.

Relationships and Karma

2010-02-03T19:26:00.000-08:00

"Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation."
~ Teilhard de Chardin

What is a relationship? What can make them form and then be terminated? Those are questions that we ask ourselves in order to understand the best way to interact with others. Some of our relationships are Karmic in nature, some are not, and sometimes we see the weight of responsibilities falling over just one of the individuals; but in general, relationships are a mystery to us.

The nature of a relationship can embrace various levels; some are conscious while others are subliminal. Usually the motivations and the Karmic lessons are hidden just under the surface of every association.

Each individual has a multi-faceted personality that can be mixed and rearranged and they tend to fit these facets of their personality with the other individual's like puzzle pieces; and this is what defines the totality of the relationship.

It is important to understand that not every relationship will work well, but we can't miss the reasons behind them: there will be some that have a Karmic nature, while others may present themselves from more of an emotional and or physical nature.

Balancing the Male-Female Aspects of Ourselves

2010-02-03T19:17:00.000-08:00

"Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation."
~ Rabindranath Tagore

We all have dreamed one way or another about the perfect relationship: the quest for perfection and integration is engraved deep within our souls.

We may have experienced confusing relationships, where the other half of the relationship insisted on giving mixed signals; or we may have felt that we are not compatible with anyone, simply because it seems that we cannot attract any kind of intimate interaction.

The reality of life is that the working dynamics of a good relationship is not a big mystery. The secret is to really realize and internalize that we are not ever alone and that we are more then we seem to be or see, with the biggest realization being that there is more than one of us around.

The questions about how complicated interpersonal relationships can become, and how challenging and confusing they can be, is just a true reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves.

At this point, the seeker must ask hard questions of oneself, such as who they really are and do they like the person they have become. Does the seeker feel deserving and worthy of unconditional love?

While one can wish to be loved by someone else, the questions reside: do we really love ourselves already, and do we trust, embrace and accept all parts of our inner self?

On these simple questions reside the entire work in rebalancing our internal polarities and eliminating the weight of general Karma in our Life Path.

How to Stop Functioning as a Half

2010-02-03T19:08:00.000-08:00

Many of us function as if we are only half complete and, as sad it seems, this is the reality. If we continue to project the vibration of half of an individual, looking around for someone else to complete us; we will continue to attract an incomplete connection.

The resulting interaction with anyone attracted in this manner will come up short of what we desire.

When we enter into any interaction from the viewpoint that we need the relationship to feel complete, it results in the relationship continuing to reflect and remind us of our belief in our incompleteness. What we will have is a partnership made up of two half-individuals that is not truly satisfying to either of them.
When we know we are a relationship unto ourselves, complete and sufficient within ourselves; we set up a vibration that attracts someone with those same qualities and assurance.

Too many times people make out long, wonderful lists of all the attributes they wish their perfect partner to have. It is better to ask the questions: do we have all those attributes and are we all those things?

The basics of the Law of Attraction talk about the need to create the right frequency from where we can create the perfect energy field to make our intentions strong enough to manifest our dreams.

Unless we are able to reflect the type of vibrational being we choose to attract, how will we ever be seen and recognized by someone who does?

Male and Female Templates

2010-02-03T18:50:00.000-08:00

In the work of the Spiritual path, we seek to transform the inner meaning of our male and female templates as different parts of ourselves, and bring our inner spirit to a point of balance and acceptance. Only when we reach this point of equilibrium inside, are we truly able to attract a soul relationship such as a Soulmate or Twin Flame. This is because we become capable of being transparent and stable enough to bring someone that is an accurate reflection of our counterpart.

When we are balanced and aware of only one template, male or female, we are not yet at the point where we can build up a balanced relationship with ourselves. When in a relationship with other beings, we tend to look at our partner as a reflection of ourselves. There is an interesting fact about the projections of the female counterpart from a male individual on his partner and vice versa.

Note: According to Carl Jung, the female counterpart of a male individual is known to be his Anima, and the male counterpart of a female being is known to be her Animus.

If you are a male, your interaction with your female partner will help you to understand better the masculine part of yourself and the reverse happens to a female individual.

The Sacred Mystical Union

2010-02-03T18:25:00.000-08:00

"Love is anterior to life, posterior to death, initial of creation, and the exponent of breath."
~ Emily Dickinson

Every Monad created is fashioned with the energy of the Trinity, the Yin and Yang that symbolizes the Twin Flames' complementary sides and the main energy of Creation, All That Is. The division of the Divine template is done with the negative polarity as the feminine part and the positive polarity as a male counterpart. Note: negative and positive are not labels. They are polarities of energy and use the terminology of conventional physics.

The polarities can vary according to the need of each incarnation, following the scope of adaptability, the Karmic program (In Buddhism it is explained that the Female incarnation is the one where the attunements of the emotional body are sharper and harder than the typical male one.), and the elements for the proper execution of life purpose.

The Divine Integral Being or the original Monad is androgynous, even though we perceive the Divine union between the feminine and masculine polarities represented in a cosmic level as the real purpose of manifestation. The union between the flames, the polar templates, on Earth is absolutely the personification of the work of spiritual transcendence.

The creative union is not only the association between the positive and negative elements, or templates "M" and "F"; but the fusion into a harmonic whole, individual and unique because the balance of those polarities within bring about the internal androgynous state. This ultimate state preserves all the individual and personal principals, giving to the seekers a new set of values and a new way to express themselves in life.

Love as a Compatible Ideal

2010-02-03T17:40:00.001-08:00

One of the big mysteries in life is the experience of loving somebody. For centuries, human beings have tried to define and comprehend the deepness and the simplicities that are involved in being in love.

The actual definition of love can make us confused sometimes, because we may have the propensity to mistake passion with love. Sometimes is difficult to separate the "sexual impulse" from the realm of "feelings'. Passion excites the personality, while love elevates the spirit. Love is the only force that can win over the strength of passion because love can garnish a soul with the everlasting sensation of plenitude.

Love can put together all the pieces in the puzzle, and solve the enigmas of one's mind and being. Nevertheless, it is the only force in the universe which is capable to place a human being in a spot where he can be in peace with himself.

Only when one has acquired the understanding that there is inside of you a matrix of harmony and the connection between you and all the living beings, can one can perceive that it is possible to be returned to the original state of being, where a Soul is a Divine spiritual entity connected in a Universe that truthfully just vibrates love.

One cannot truly feel the true love for another if you do not love yourself first.

When you are feeling completely ready and feel integrally connected with someone else, there is a third party, or energy, that includes itself on the relationship: the Universe.

When this happens, the couple is able to find the sense of Purpose and its manifestations will inevitable guide them both to the journey back to the Original Integration.

How to Kiss Passionately for the First Time

2010-02-02T19:36:00.001-08:00

Would You Be a Faithful Mate?

2010-02-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

Faithful Mate?

Tuesday, June 1, 2004 4:11 AM

WOULD YOU BE A FAITHFUL MATE?

1. How physically attractive are you? (Perhaps you should get a second opinion here.) (a) Fair (b) Average (c) Good (d) Great!
2. Do you drink more alcohol or take more drugs than your loved ones feel you should?
3. If you smoke, have you tried to quit smoking but been unable to?
4. Do you feel adultery offends God?
5. Do others describe you as impulsive?
6. Describe your temper: (a) Mild (b) Average (c) Strong (d) So strong you have difficulty in controlling it.
7. Would you lie to prevent hurting another person?
8. How much should your mate be allowed to know about your activities? (a) Only what I am willing to tell him or her (b) Almost everything, but there are some things one should be able to keep private (c) I am happy to honestly tell my mate whatever he or she wants to know.
9. Do you believe and practice the idea that a couple should feel committed to each other before having sexual intercourse?
10. How important is it to you that both you and your partner are sexually faithful in a committed relationship? (a) It would be nice, but not all important (b) It is reasonably important (c) It is extremely important.

SCORING:
Question One: a 0, b 1, c 2, d 3;
Two: Yes 1, No 2;
Three: Haven't tried to quit 2, Yes 1, Don't smoke 0;
Four: Yes 0, No 1;
Five: Yes 1, No 0;
Six: a 0, b 0, c 1, d 2;
Seven: Yes 1, No 0;
Eight: a 2, b 1, c 0;
Nine: Yes 0, No 2;
Ten: a 2, b 1, c 0.

INTERPRETATION:
0-6 Points: You believe in commitment, honesty and integrity in a relationship and can be trusted as much as humanly possible. Your mate should be able to rest securely while you are away. Nevertheless, remember that we are all human; don't play with fire just because you are in this category.
7-11 Points: You like to have the opportunity to do a little flirting and get attention from the opposite sex. You have no intention of being an unfaithful mate when you are in a committed relationship, but enjoy playing with a little fire. You must be careful to always remember the importance of your relationship or you may find yourself tempted at times. Your mate can help by being an interesting partner.
12-18 Points: You do not have a strong desire to be committed to any one person for a whole lifetime. You must be careful to avoid making the other person think that you are more committed than you are; this could save a lot of hurt. Nevertheless, you may find that right one who steals your heart and causes you to become completely devoted. If it happened to Hugh Heffner, it can happen to any of us.
Those who don't like thinking should at least rearrange their prejudices from time to time. Luther Burbank, 1849-1926

Copyright 2004 by J.J. Dewey, All Rights Reserved

Love Definitions

2010-01-31T11:00:00.000-08:00

Love

In the Greek language there are three words for love. The reason Love is so hard to define in English is because it is used on so many different levels and refers to any kind of emotional attachment. Let us try and put into words the most universal meaning:

"Love is the urge to be one with, or keep within one's sphere of influence, that which he finds desirable."

Love is the most important emotion because it is the vine from which all others are branches. No emotion or feeling at all would exist if some degree of love did not appear first.

The most common expression of romantic love is between male and female. A correct use of this energy leads toward union and a feeling of joyousness. An incorrect use can cause one to attempt to restrict the freedoms of those who do not respond to love as desired.

Excerpts From The Molecular Relationship, Chapter 17 -- Making The Negative Positive ( Copyright 1999 by J.J. Dewey, All Rights Reserved)

From OMG!!! to OM... Ask the Tantra Master 2

2010-01-31T10:59:00.000-08:00

OMG!!!
I'm currently NOT in a relationship and I masturbate on a regular basis-would that be considered sexually healthy? And am I able to achieve a tantric orgasm while masturbating?

OM...
As you await your beloved to enter your life, masturbating on a regular basis is considered normal and healthy, but here is a big but.

The orgasm you experience during masturbation is located only in the genitals, and is “weak” because it is only one half of the union, and lacks the “power” to ascend. In order to rise, it needs the “boost” of the opposite polarity to propel it upward. Otherwise, it is just a momentary, temporary relief, like most ordinary orgasms.

A tantric orgasm requires the Divine Union of Siva/Shakti, the marriage of masculine/feminine, the principles of consciousness/energy, the yoking of opposite polarities.

The purpose of tantric orgasms is to elevate your consciousness and bring you into a permanent state of being; that is, bring you eternal bliss. It enhances the connection you have with your beloved a thousandfold. For many people, it is the only time they ever experience being in the present moment. A tantric orgasm involves all the chakras and has the power to change who you are over a period of time. It puts you in deep meditation and has the ability to increase your intuition, brings you insight, visions and mystical experiences. In a tantric orgasm, the muscles spasm, vibrate and oscillate, which squeezes and forces the kundalini to ascend in a deliberate, not haphazard manner.

Masturbating with a vibrator has a downside. You depend on it and many women cannot achieve an orgasm without one.

The Facts About Romantic Compatibility

2010-01-31T10:40:00.000-08:00

The Facts About Romantic Compatibility

Romantic compatibility in a relationship is such an important thing to both couples. There''s no such romantic relationship if you''re not compatible with your mate. You have to be compatible when it comes to certain vulnerable things so to avoid misunderstanding and trouble dealing with one another. Usually, the astrology has something to say and have to guide you and your mate about the romantic compatibility insight through the different sun signs, for you and for your love, or for a certain someone that you''re having an eye on. Of course, you want to know how compatible you are to your mate before having a relationship with her or him, or before settling down.

It is good to know to whom you are compatible with before you enter a relationship. By this, you will know the best and the worst things that might match love. Others say birth compatibility is important so to create a romantic compatibility in a relationship. Good mates are the only child and youngest; the first-born and youngest; the middle child and the youngest. The gender plays a role too. It is possible to everyone to keep the relationships growing and create a romantic compatibility through understanding even there are ups and downs in a relationship. You must feel comfortable in a relationship that you''re in, because it indicates how much at ease you feel with your mate and that how you can tell how romantic compatibility works between you and the other person. Communication is still a good source of building up a romantic compatibility, where it indicates your ability to understand each other and exchange those sweet talks to each other. A good chemistry that binds you and your mate can make a good sense of romantic compatibility, too.

Romantic compatibility is important in a relationship, combined with love and understanding. Through this, it keeps the flame of passion that''s burning in a relationship. Sometimes, teaming up with those incompatible partners can lead to tensions, broken hearts and a lot of misunderstandings in a relationship, and of course, you don''t want a broken relationship that leaves painful scars in our lives. Romantic compatibility tells about the romantic relationship from a variety of angles. It also tells about the nature of your attraction, or how do you relate to each other. Romantic compatibility can tell you too what are the traits you are both compatible with and the specific dynamics of your chemistry together in building up a romantic compatibility.

Astrologers have been using charts to let couples understand and discover their own horoscope and the horoscope of their potential partner. Most compatibility charts can give more information about your partner and that can tell you to whom you are compatible with. It compares your partner''s individual birth information and gives you insight into your relationship. It compares and contrasts the interrelationship of two separate charts; the professional astrologers can reveal the many ways and many levels that the two people relate with each other. The romantic compatibility chart provides a comparison between two people with regards to all the things that affect their ability to harmonize with each other, from relationship personality and lifestyle to sexuality and passion. This is one of the most comprehensive ways that you can find and that will help you to understand on how you should relate romantically to another person, and how you both can better understand and appreciate each other.

Actually, romantic compatibility in a relationship relies to both couples, and not just to what astrology says. If you think you both find each other compatible and that you love each other, for sure, the romantic compatibility slowly will grow between you and your mate. The astrology just guides and gives you some important details that might help you in choosing your potential mate in the future and certain aspects that will help you enhance your personality and building up the romantic compatibility in a relationship.

How To Spark Romance is a new directory on how to spark romance. From romantic date ideas to recipes you can use to make an evening more exciting, we''ll show you how to be romantic.

Astrological compatibility

2010-01-31T10:29:00.001-08:00

Astrological compatibility

Astrological compatibility (synastry) is the branch of astrology that studies relationships by comparing natal horoscopes. A natal horoscope is a chart, map, or imaginary snapshot of the planets in the Solar System and their positions in the zodiac at the exact time of a person's birth. The signs of the Zodiac represent 12 different types of spiritual energy and purpose. The planets in the Solar System are associated with at least one, but most often two signs of the zodiac.

Relationships between planets, signs (types of energy), and houses (sectors of the chart) are described in words and /or often rated in numbers to show to what degree, how, and in what ways one person is compatible or incompatible with another. The assessment is based on the patterns and distributions of energy in the respective and combined charts.

Compatibility between Zodiac signs is always approached within a particular branch of astrological tradition: Chinese astrology, Western astrology or Vedic astrology.
Compatibility in Western astrology

The first concept to be understood is that the different planets correspond to different kinds of love. Venus is the planet of affection, attraction and/or romantic love. Venus is associated with the Zodiac signs Libra and Taurus. Mars is the planet of sex and passion; Martian love was called Eros by the Greeks. Mars is associated with the sign Aries. The Sun which is associated with Leo is also a symbol for love. The kind of love that is mutual honor, respect and an appreciation for each other as equals. The Greek words for this type of love is perhaps Philia. Agape is the love of God or the unconditional spiritual love. In modern astrology Agape might be associated with the planet Neptune or Jupiter, rulers of the spiritual sign Pisces.

A person is often a mix or blend of energies as described in the natal chart. The natal chart also tells the interpreter how or the manner in which someone loves. For example, if someone has Venus in Scorpio they will have a tendency to give affection in an emotionally intense, possibly mystical, way. If someone has a Mars in Taurus, their erotic style of loving will be sensual and slow.

Relationships are complex and many people will desire to experience a balance of all the different types of love. They not only want affectionate love but erotic love, honor love, and spiritual love. All from the one partner. A good astrologer will be able to ascertain the “love needs and abilities ” of each partner from observing patterns in each horoscope.

When astrologers speak of aspects they describe the relationships between the planets or energies. Each person has aspects or relationships between the planets in their birth (natal) charts that represent psychological strengths, weakness, natural blessings and personal demons. In synastry, or chart comparisons, aspects illustrate areas of ease and compatibility or challenge and incompatibility between the individuals studied.

Among certain astrologers, it is agreed that a relationship should balance strengths and weaknesses. Too much of even a seemingly good thing is often bland and unproductive, meaning that two "astronomical twins" who have the same planet alignments, were born at the same time, in the same place, etc, are not always the most compatible. Rarely are even the most narcissistic of people excited about the possibility of being in a relationship with themselves. So healthy or positive synastry between two charts is about blending and complementing another’s energies to create a healthy synergy.

Consider the zodiac as a circle or belt of fixed stars surrounding the Solar System. These fixed stars serve as “landmarks” in the sky. As the planets orbit the sun at their respective speeds and rhythms, when viewed from earth they appear to be in a particular constellation of the zodiac (area of the sky). Aspects have to do with the distance between planets as they travel. Aspects are measured in degrees since they all are moving within a big circle around the sun. Each of the 12 signs of the Zodiac occupies 30 degrees of the 360 degree circle. For example, if Mars is passing through the area of Virgo and Venus is traveling through Capricorn, at a certain time they will be exactly 120 degrees apart. This aspect is called a trine. A trine is considered the most positive aspect or relationship because it is between similar energies and therefore easily blended. In this example it is between the earth signs Virgo and Capricorn. If, however, Mars was in Virgo but Venus was in Scorpio, this aspect would be a sextile or 60 degrees apart. They are separated by one sign or constellation between them. The sextile is also a positive aspect because the energies complement one another in this case they represent the elements of earth and water which in nature need or support each other.

Astrology has a base-12 cycle in common with music. In music theory there are intervals which are more harmonious than others. If music theory can be applied to astrology, then the most harmonious to least harmonious aspects are conjunction, quincunx, sextile, square, trine, semisextile and opposition.

In practice the trine and sextile are considered the most positive aspects and the square (90 degrees) is the most negative, and the opposition (180 degrees) and conjunction (0 degrees) could be either bad or good depending on the kind of energies involved. An opposition of energies can be an ongoing battle or balance. A conjunction, meaning planets standing together in the same sign, can be a beautiful blend e.g. Moon/ Venus (emotions and affections) or frustrating Saturn/Mars (Stop and Go). Again, conjunctions can be positive aspects in a chart when they are energies that blend or complement one another, but if they are energies that naturally oppose or antagonize each other, a conjunction is NOT a good thing. There is one exception however and that is the combination of Mars and Venus.

In a compatibility chart between a man and woman when a man's Mars is conjunct (in the same position) as a woman’s Venus, this denotes a very primal and urgent attraction. They represent the opposite energies in the zodiac and in nature. Venus is the Female principle and Mars is the Male. The combination of attraction /Affection (Venus) and Passion (Mars) is 'the stuff of great love stories'.
[edit] Polarity

Masculine , positive or power signs:

* Leo (Sun in domicile)
* Aries (direct Mars in domicile/Sun in exaltation)
* Scorpio (retrograde Mars in domicile)
* Capricorn (direct Mars in exaltation)
* Sagittarius (retrograde Mars in exaltation)
* Aquarius (Venus as favorable)

Feminine , negative or romance signs:

* Cancer (Moon in domicile)
* Libra (direct Venus in domicile)
* Taurus (retrograde Venus in domicile/Moon in exaltation)
* Pisces (direct Venus in exaltation)
* Gemini (retrograde Venus in exaltation)
* Virgo (Mars as favorable)

Description From Wikipedia

Astrology and Soul Compatibility

2010-01-31T10:14:00.000-08:00

Every Zodiac Signs are classified into four elements:

Fire Signs: Aries, Leo and Sagittarius
Air Signs: Gemini, Libra and Aquarius
Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces
Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn

Aries Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
March 21-April 19

Taurus Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
April 20-May 20

Gemini Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
May 21- June 21

Cancer Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
June 22-July 22

Leo Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
July 23-August 22

Virgo Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
August 23-September 22

Libra Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
September 23-October 22

Scorpio Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
October 23-November 21

Sagittarius Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
November 22-December 21

Capricorn Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
December 22-January 19

Aquarius Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
January 20-February 18

Pisces Sign Compatibility Horoscope & Astrology
February 19-March 20

What is Love?

2010-01-30T21:25:00.000-08:00

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

Single Parents and Dating

2010-01-30T21:15:00.000-08:00

Single Parents and Dating

How to navigate the dating scene as a single parent

(from TopDating tips.com)

This is a complex subject and I can't do it justice here but I offer some thoughts. Dating single parents should not be the problem it is and things are starting to move in the right direction at last. Being a single mother or father has never been easy when looking for a new partner. You are seen to be carrying a lot of baggage that a single person doesn't really have to take onboard if there are lots of single people around without children. That's the basic truth. In other words you are second choice to someone without kids in the largest section of single groups.

To be realistic, a proportion of eligible people are lost to you if you have children, for many reasons. For a start you will not trust everyone you meet and will have some specific criteria your new partner must match with for the safety of your family. Then some people will not want to have children for personal reasons and so they would not make suitable partners. Then others just wouldn't be suited to your family environment, maybe through career or outlook. Also worth noting is that many people do look for people with children for a variety of reasons, maybe because they have children too.

Yet its important to remember that we can easily see single people as having the whole singles market to themselves when in fact there are limitations on all of us. We may be short, or bald, or fat or thin or many things that some people don't want. In which case no one has it easy in the dating game.

The main problem with being a single parent attempting to date is one of image. Not your image of yourself, the image that other people have of you. You may not be a Valium-chomping, shopping bag- carrying, crying baby-cradling single mum, but its possible that others see that image in their head. Tag that along side the thoughts of a ready-made family with instant serious responsibilities and one can see where the problems may lay.

The fact is, being a single parent is a lonely business. Your social life is very restricted unless your ex has a lot of regular responsibility and custody of the children. You tend to stay in in the evenings and tend to your children as more than you do to your own needs. Soon enough you have become isolated and when you feel ready to date, its tricky to know where to begin. Worst still even if you do get a night out occasionally will you be able to meet anyone who wants to date you when you have children. And will you want to date them?

I went to see About a Boy last year starring Hugh Grant and I could identify with his character in that there are many single mums I know who are desperate to find a nice guy to date. But that doesn't mean to say it is easy pickings for any man that strolls along. I have found single parents have very definite views about who they would like to meet and who would fit into their lives. Being available simply isn't enough.

Many of my friends are single parents and the most common complaint is that people don't seem to be interested in them once they admit they have children who live at home. It's almost like it is too much hassle for a prospective date. However my single parents friends are the most caring, organized, gentle and forward looking people I have ever met. Most have weekends free due to their ex partners having access rights and so it is not as if parents are tied as a single person may believe. Some of my friends though pointed out that they have met single potentials who don't really understand that they have parental responsibilities and there is a fair amount of criticism of single people not having the necessary levels of understanding. The fact is, if you date a single parents you do need to make adjustments.

I asked a few single male friends of mine what they thought and they said they would not discount single parents if the number of children was manageable. What they meant was that if you have one or two children that appears to be the acceptable level of take-on future responsibility. However one of my lovely single female friends has 4 children and she felt that that was somewhat off-putting for many prospective partners. She went on to say that she now viewed having a relationship would happen once her children grew up but not before.

The focus should be on you as a person and your domestic situation shouldn't matter. This may reveal why some single parents feel it is necessary to conceal their domestic situation until a little way down the line. "It's not like I am lying, it is just that I am not going to be too specific" said one female friend. Revealing that you have a child later on once you have hooked your mate doesn't appear to cause too many problems but I would be very cautious of that approach as it smacks of deceit and trying to hook someone.

With the deterioration of marriage in modern society and more people living together it is a major fact of life that there are a lot of single parents out there. They have already demonstrated their domestic skills, their fertility, their organizational abilities and their ability to cope under pressure. Therefore you can argue that a single parent is almost top pick amongst out ever increasing pool of singles. Single parents have a lot going for them and I often now believe it is simply a case of overcoming the initial years of isolation and getting back into the dating game with a degree of confidence.

Things to feel good about:

Coping as a single parent is a huge skill

You have proven your domestic abilities

You have proven your organizational responsibilities

You are a great home maker

You are a great mother or father

You are caring, kind and responsible

Single people often desire to be like you

The Internet has revolutionized dating from home. Now you can chat with people you like 24 hours a day and build up a relationship online before meeting when appropriate. Furthermore you can select what type of people you would like to meet through the online search facilities so that you can zoom in on the kind of person who would fit in with your parental lifestyle. Things are looking up.

Make dating easier for yourself with these tips:

If you are finding meeting people difficult think about the inherent safety of using an Internet dating agency like LoveBrowser.com. You can chat safely from home and make new friends.

Do decide what your dating goals are. If the date is for company and fun enjoy yourself. If you are looking at your date from the point of view of prospective father or mother then be clear about that

Do ask lots of questions and be straight up about having children. Never pretend you don't just so that you can get a date.

If your children are old enough to understand, do tell them that you are dating.

Take your time before introducing a prospective new family member but make sure that you do keep your kids well informed

Do stick to your dating criteria and don't be swayed just because you are having a good time.

Don't forget that if your date doesn't have children they don't necessarily want to chat about yours constantly. That's natural.

Don't talk about your children in detail until you are very comfortable with the person you are dating.

If someone cannot grasp your role as mother or father and the commitments that entails, dump them swiftly.

Make sure that your prospective partner understands the shared responsibilities of being part of your family

If you find that your date doesn't take to your children you have probably been dating the wrong person for you.

If you don't want further children later be clear from the outset. If you have 2 children and you are 39, enough may be enough.

Do allow your children to have a view of your date but do not let their views influence your own judgment. A child may be jealous of losing attention.

How To Use Body Language To Your Advantage When Dating

2010-01-30T21:01:00.000-08:00

How To Use Body Language To Your Advantage When Dating

Attract the man or woman you want by sending out signals

(from Top dating Tips.com)

This is the language where you don't need any words. Women have been doing it for hundreds of years to attract the man they want. Becoming fluent in body language will ensure that you will be skilled in attracting the right man and sending the get lost signal to the wrong man.

Eyeing Up the Prize

The more eye contact you establish with the target the better. Start with some sidelong glances. Then, begin with direct eye contact. Once he turns to meet your gaze, immediately lower your eyes and smile to yourself. This will tell him that you were watching him and are embarrassed that he caught you -- a sure sign of interest. Next, be bold and try holding his stare and flash a smile.

If there is a man that is giving you the eye and you are not interested, look away from him and don't look back at him again. While having a conversation, looking at the ceiling and around the room also shows a definite lack of interest.

First Impressions Count

You leave your home ready to go to a party when you spot your gorgeous neighbor and he doesn't give you a second glance. Why? Because you aren't dressed your best. When you enter a room, most people look to see who has come in. This is when you have to make an impression. Looking your best will make you feel your best. So make sure that before you leave your front door, look your best. You never know. You just might just attract the attention of that gorgeous neighbor.

The Hand Job (no, not what you are thinking!)

Even without direct contact, your hands can send very powerful messages. There are a number of ways to convey that you want to get to know someone. Keeping your hands unclenched shows you're open to him. Using your hands to caress objects, such as the rim of your glass, locks of your hair, or the sleeve of your blouse in a rhythmic (as opposed to fidgety) manner, can be a sensual act. And for the brave, try picking fluff off his jacket, touching him to punctuate a point, or using the "accidental touch" when reaching for the salt.

Hands jammed in pockets, cleaning eyeglasses or balled in tight fists are all bad signs. Finger tapping, drumming, pointing or wagging are also signals to move on.

Stand Out

Your posture is one of the most telling signals you transmit. An open posture is evidence of an open person. Turning your body toward the man you're conversing with, keeping your feet flat on the floor and leaning forward are actions that show interest. Also, slightly tilting your head, crossing and uncrossing your legs and thrusting your chest forward give the message that you are interested.

Crossing your arms, holding a drink high in front of you, turning your body away or resting your feet on their toes will tell a person you are not interested.

A Few Extra Tips

Hopefully by now you have an attack plan for when it's time to get down and dirty, or when it's best just to wave the white flag. Here are just a few more tips when trying to perfect your body language skills:

You'll know things are going really well when you begin "mirroring" one another's body language and gestures.

Don't tease him by offering more than you plan to follow through with. This can lead to very ugly circumstances.

Chain smoking, being extremely intoxicated, or having eyes only for your plate of food will not put you in the best standing for the body language game.

If you try your hand at it, and he's not responding, abort the mission immediately.

Following him around all night will only serve in making you look needy and desperate.

And finally, if all else fails, buy yourself a T-shirt that reads, "Looking for Love."

What Can I do With a Guy Who's Cheap?

2010-01-30T20:35:00.000-08:00

What can I do with a guy who's cheap?

Dear Sherry:

How do I tell my boyfriend that he's cheap? He's great in every other way, but his inability to spend a buck is really a bummer.

Sonya

According to my informal poll (40 friends and friends-of-friends), women would rather date a man who's a so-so kisser than one who's cheap! But, since you say he's got redeeming qualities, let's work on taming his Scrooge-like tendencies rather than discussing tactics to hook you up with a sugar daddy.

Your worst tactic is to put him on the defensive. In other words, don't start out by calling him cheap or whining that he holds onto his money more tightly than Donald Trump in a pre-nuptial agreement. Start by saying how much you care about him and what a great person he is (yes, it's tiresome, but flattery really smoothes the way). Then, launch into a general discussion on money. Tell him how your money views and values were shaped. (For example, as a child, were you given an allowance that you could spend on anything that struck your fancy, or did you have to work at part-time jobs to afford clothes and makeup?) Ask him to share his money persona with you. Where did his fears about spending come from? Were his parents unemployed for long stretches of time? Remember, money can be tied to his feelings of security or self-worth. Gently let him know that his reluctance to spend money on you makes you feel he doesn't value you. End by suggesting a compromise: You cook him dinner and rent a movie three dates in a row, then he takes you out somewhere wonderful.

If, despite his innate cheapness, he's open to compromise, you've got a keeper. A man who wants to please his partner is better than money in the bank. Well, almost.

Technology Trouble: 10 Twenty-First Century Ways to Wreck a Relationship

2010-01-30T20:26:00.000-08:00

Technology Trouble:

10 Twenty-First Century Ways to Wreck a Relationship

by Eileen Livers

1. Answer your cell phone during a date

2. Proceed to chat on said phone through appetizer, entree and dessert

3. Hang up on his answering machine ten times each day

4. Or leave "breezy" messages on his machine that are anything but

5. Ask for his IM name on your first date

6. Proceed to IM him every day, several times a day

7. Write an email to your friends all about him and cc him (accidentally)

8. Ask him why he hasn't responded to your calls, IMs, and emails

9. Send him a suggestive IM while he's having a meeting with important clients in his office

10. Break up with him by sending your friends

Who Should Pick Up the Tab?

2010-01-30T20:21:00.000-08:00

Who should pick up the tab?

After 10 years of being single, I have started dating a gentlemen who is financially secure and definitely making more money than me. I need advice on how to handle paying the tab when we go out. I feel uncomfortable letting him pay for everything. However, if I insist on paying my half, or even paying for the whole bill, I will have to limit the activities that we do together. How do I politely decline functions that I feel I cannot afford, without appearing uninterested in being with him? Should I discuss this with him? If so, how do I do that without making it appear as if I want him to pay for it? --labottor

Here's some advice that's free. Yes, level with the gentleman about your money concerns, but first make sure you understand their origins. Does your discomfort stem from worry that if he pays on the one level you'll be required to "pay" on another? Or are you uncomfortable with being cast in the traditional woman's role? Or do you simply like to feel that everything is equitable?

Once you examine where you're at on this issue, initiate an honest, non-threatening cash-oriented talk. Have some possible solutions in mind: You let him treat you to expensive functions while he lets you treat him to home-cooked dinners, movie dates, etc. Plus, you can buy him little treats on occasion: a CD you know he'd like, his favorite author's new book (out in paperback), etc.

While neither of you want to feel that the monetary balance must be tit for tat, you should be able to compromise on a fluid, comfortable way to handle the "who pays, when and for what?" hurdle -- one that all couples have to get over at some time or another.

Do Guys Like It When a Woman Makes the First Move?

2010-01-30T20:14:00.000-08:00

Do Guys like it when a woman makes the first move?

If you're already in a relationship with a guy, the answer is yes, men love it when the woman makes the first move. It's exciting, makes the man feel wanted and allows him to express himself more confidently as things progress. If, however, you're at the beginning of a relationship that hasn't gotten physical yet, the answer is no -- if you put your arm around him and then lean in for the kiss, it will weird him out.

The thing is, it almost never happens. Even the most sexually aggressive woman isn't usually making a move per se; she's just making it very clear that she wants the guy to. But do guys like that? Definitely. In fact, they lie awake at night dreaming about it.

But Mr. Answer Man knows what you're thinking: "I thought I was making it really clear!" Sometimes men are dense -- here are five ways to enlighten them:

1. Invite him in. A beverage makes the best excuse: "Would you like to come in for a ... "

2. Touch him. On the forearm with your hand is easiest, but on the upper arm with your breast is better. Also, the closer you can comfortably sit or stand, the better.

3. Shower him with approval. Laugh at his jokes. Look him in the eyes and smile. Respond positively to the things he says. Men find all these things encouraging.

4. If the conversation lulls, let it. Guys generally get silent before they bust a move -- don't chase the moment away.

5. Ask a totally provocative question. How are you at foot rubs? Are you a good kisser? What time do you have to get up? You get the idea ...

Romantic Moves That Won't Make You Gag

2010-01-30T20:08:00.000-08:00

Romantic Moves that won't make you Gag

BY CARA BIRNBAUM (from Cosmopolitan)

How do you shower your guy with heartfelt affection without making him head for the hills? Cosmo grilled tons of men (spanning the spectrum of sensitivity) to find out the tender, sweet, but not-too-sappy ways to melt their hearts.

You adore your man. You know it, and he knows it. Still, you want to drive the point home. But can you lavish the big lug with romantic vibes without setting off his anti-sap meter? The even bigger question: Do men even care about romance? Hell, yeah. Cosmo discovered that even the most macho dudes will warm up if you hone in on the kinds of gestures that get to them. "Boiled down, romance is the expression of love," says Greg Godek, author of 1001 Ways to Be Romantic. "But since men don't usually go for the traditional hearts-and-frills stuff that women do, you need to think more creatively."

If that sounds like more brain work than you bargained for, relax. We rounded up scores of men and got them to reveal what romantic stuff a girl can do to make them weak-kneed...and have them dying to return the favor!

2. "One girl called my mom for the recipe I loved as a kid, then surprised me with my favorite cornflake-battered chicken for dinner one night."
--Howard, 23

9. "If I'm up late working, my fiancee will bring me a little bowl of ice cream on her way to bed. It's usually not something I was thinking about but love, which proves how well she knows me."
--Chris, 29

12. "Theresa once taped a good-morning message and slipped it into my car's cassette deck at night so I'd hear it on my way to work that morning."
-- Leon, 27

21. "I was vacationing at the beach with my girlfriend last year. I woke up one morning to go for a swim and found my name spelled out in seashells on the sand."
--Dan, 27

26. "Tell me what an amazing time you had after a date. It may seem obvious, but guys are way more insecure than even we like to think."
--Liam, 24

29. "A girl at my gym -- who I thought would never give me the time of day -- left a note on the treadmill that simply said 'I have a crush on you.' Now that we're living together, we have it framed in our bathroom."
--Rob, 25

31. "Cook me the kind of dinner at your place that you'd get in a fancy restaurant. Do the whole candlelight thing -- and let me enjoy it in my jeans and T-shirt."
--Frank, 26

34. "Think of a nickname...a really good one. My girlfriend knows mushy stuff irks me, but I love that she calls me Tumbleweed -- and the best part is, no one but the two of us knows why."
-- Tyler, 28

37. "Make me coffee in the morning, just the way I like it: strong, plain (none of that flavored crap), two sugars, and a little bit of real milk. It's nurturing and simple but totally appreciated."
--Max, 28

44. "Teri and I email at work constantly, but one day, she sent me a love letter -- as in snail mail. It made my day."
--Bob, 28

Is it OK to Ask for an Expensive Gift?

2010-01-30T19:55:00.000-08:00

Is it OK to ask for an expensive gift?

My boyfriend of four months asked me whether I wanted to let him pick out my Christmas gift or whether I wanted to pick it out myself. I told him I trusted his taste and that he should get me whatever he wants. But the truth is, I'm really hoping that he'll get me jewellery. I think it's what boyfriends should get their girlfriends for Christmas. But I'm not sure if he thinks the same way. But how could I tell him that I want jewels? It's not the cheapest kind of gift. How can I drop subtle hints without seeming crass?
Laura

You've already blown your opportunity. If you really don't trust his taste, you shouldn't have told him you did. Now you want to manipulate him, right? It's fair to point out things you like in store windows and magazines and ask whether he thinks they're pretty too. Since this is a relatively new relationship, it's not really appropriate to expect costly jewels. You might want to reflect on what your expectations of this fellow are and whether they're realistic.

Why don't you give the guy a break and wait and see what happens? You might be pleasantly surprised. Remember that the only meaningful gifts we have to give are our time and attention. If they translate into jewels, great. But don't discard the attributes that give the relationship real value.

5 Things You Should Never Tell a Guy

2010-01-30T19:50:00.000-08:00

5 Things you should never Tell a Guy

In the realm of male-female communication, there are certain topics most of us recognize as single-sex only. We'll spare you the details about the comeback the Jets made, and you spare us the details about Ethan, the ex who was so well-hung his penis had a nickname for him. This approach ensures that nobody gets bored, and nobody gets pissed off.

But love isn't that simple. Fact is, there are other, less obvious subjects that men wish you'd reserve for your girlfriends. If you're wooing a guy, never bring up the following five "turnoff topics:"

Turnoff topic 1: All the cute things your pet does.

We think of pets as noble beasts, as partners in adventure. Which makes it disturbing when you start talking baby talk to them. "Nipsy, wipsy. Your mommy loves you, oh, yes she does." Coddling a pet makes men suspect that your ideal companion is completely dependent upon you for food, lets you dress him up in colorful wool sweaters, and can be castrated if he starts acting too frisky.

Turnoff topic 2: Your belief in alternative medicine.

I was talking to a woman at a bar recently, and we were really connecting ... until she started telling me about visits to her vitaminologist. "He told me I had happiness stuck in my bladder." No matter how important you may feel it is to share your spiritual side, remember: When you tell us about your experiences with aromatherapy, reflexology, or crystals, all we hear is unstable, unstable, unstable.

Turnoff topic 3: How impressed you are with what others make.

I was out with my best friend, Greg, who goes to law school. We met one girl who started assessing the crowd: "Oh, my God, there are so many law-school guys here tonight. You know, in their first year out of school they make $119,000!"

You don't have to convince us that you're oblivious to material possessions. But ogling a man's paycheck -- ours or somebody else's -- makes us feel like you're attaching our worth to our wallets. And we know there's always going to be someone out there with deeper pockets than ours.

Turnoff topic 4: How beautiful the scenery is.

When confronted by natural beauty, men prefer to contemplate it in silence. Women, for some reason, feel compelled to talk at just the moment when we most want quiet. I spent a week on a Mediterranean island with a group that included four women who never met a sunset they couldn't ruin. ("That pink is so deep. I think it's, like, the deepest pink I've ever seen.") They failed to get the joke when my friends and I tried to give them a taste of their own medicine: "Look at that water! It's just, like, so wet."

Turnoff topic 5: Who your favorite celebrities are dating.

Demi and Bruce break up/make up; Oprah gains/loses 20 pounds. We don't care. Pamela Lee opens her mouth real wide and accommodates all of Tommy's manhood? Okay, we care. As a rule of thumb, unless they're naked, we don't want to know. Men have far too hard a time keeping up with their own relationships; the last thing we want is the responsibility of keeping up with the lives of people we'll never meet.

How to Get a Better Response from Your Ad

2010-01-30T19:47:00.000-08:00

How to get a better Response from your ad

Placing an ad in our site is free; however, it shouldn't be done off the cuff.

Successful online dating starts with the first moment someone sees your profile. It's the most important moment in online dating.

Each ad should be well thought out and reflect just what you are seeking. Be honest and straight-forward. Don't lie to the members of the site and pretend that you are someone that you are not, because someone looking for who you really are will miss you! This wastes your time and everyone else’s.

A picture is worth a thousand words. The ads of people who submit pictures get approximately 12 times the hits of those without pictures. You do not have to submit a picture with your ad, but it might be worth considering. At SinglesCrowd, we give you the opportunity to upload several large images and one preview image with your ad.

When you receive a response to your ad, it is either going to spark your interest, or not interest you at all. Even if the e-mail doesn't light your fire, it is always common courtesy to send a response, even if it is to say "Thanks, but no thanks." After all, this person was interested enough in you to send you an email, so take it as a compliment and send back an acknowledgement that the email was received. If the email does light your fire, then respond to it and enjoy!

Responding to an Ad

When you are searching our database, you need to realize that not everyone will be responding and not everyone will be interested in what you have to offer. So it is a good idea to respond to more than one ad at once. There can be a certain feeling out process to make sure this is a right rendezvous for all parties. While it can work, don't go overboard with your first email. Unless specifically asked, don't go into long tirades about what a good lover you are and what you will do with him/her/them when you meet. Try and introduce yourself and let the advertisers know a little bit about you. Just as someone putting in an ad should submit a picture, so should you send a picture when you respond to the ad.

Once you receive a response to your email it is time to start giving more information. This may be a good time to talk on the phone to get a better feel for the person. Then, when you feel comfortable, it is time for the meeting.

Meeting your Date

The first meeting is a big step. This should be fun, but also bear in mind that safety is an issue. That is why we recommend that the initial meeting be at a public place and either during the lunch hour or right after work. If things go well, you can arrange for an immediate, more intimate setting, or you can schedule one at a more convenient time and place.

Common Courtesy

This should be the norm, but unfortunately this sometimes gets lost in the shuffle. The first thing to remember is that NO MEANS NO. Just because you meet doesn't not mean that he/she/they have to like you and want to take things further. Things may change after a face-to-face meeting, so if the other party wants to break it off, do so. This is not a personal insult. Just smile, accept it and go on to the next one.

If you are invited to the other party's home, remember that you are a guest. You don't live there. Dress appropriately for the situation, bring a gift, don't put your feet up on the coffee table, etc. Just because you are entering into a possible relationship doesn't mean you have to be an idiot. Good manners go a long way in breaking through those first-time jitters. If you respect the other party, just as you would at work or school, you will do fine, and you will never lack new dating opportunities. Word gets around, and the fools suffer while the good ones are in high demand!